The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning all! Happy Tuesday or whatever day/evening it may be in your part of our world. I'm covering for Betty today! The reading today discusses the reality that alcoholism is a family disease and denial is 'real' in both the alcoholic as well as those who are directly or indirectly affected by the disease.
The writer discusses feeling as if they do not belong. Not just in Al-Anon, but also in life at times. The writer was not presently living with the disease, feeling almost like an impostor as the drinkers were grandparents. As the writer learned about the disease of alcoholism and how it reaches beyond the drinker, to include generational pass-down, 'more was revealed'. The writer could relate to some of the effects and for the first time, was with others who truly understood.
Al-Anon offers us a way to do our part in breaking the family pattern. We can get off the merry-go-round by choosing recovery!
Reminder: In Al-Anon I find people who understand as few others can. If I have been affected by the drinking of another, I need not doubt that I belong.
Quote (from . . . In All Our Affairs): "No matter what the difficulty, no matter how unique we may feel, somewhere nearby are men and women with similar stories who have found help, comfort and hope through recovery in Al-Anon."
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I really struggled to accept I was affected by this disease in others. I could justify, rationalize, explain and easily throw blame/shame at the diseased and the disease and did so for a long, long while. When I arrived, I had no interest in changing me and just wanted a solution to stop the disease in others.
I can relate to not feeling a part of....for as long as I can remember, I often felt like an impostor - as a wife, mother, employee, etc. My self-esteem was tanked and I practiced a lifetime of 'compete/compare' placing myself above or below others. It was a continuing habit that truly added no value to my life! In Al-Anon, as I embraced my part, and began practicing changing me, I found it easier to accept me as imperfect, and practice unconditional love within. As my sanity and esteem were restoring, I was then able to practice unconditional love and acceptance of others.
I know recovery for me is a safe place. I can share my deepest thoughts, insane or not, as well as my pain/feelings/story and not be judged or advised. I am grateful for a healthier mind/spirit today as well as the many tools that allow me to live, love and enjoy my life whether the disease is active around me or not. I fully accept that this is a disease, and embrace the family aspect of it. I know today that I can change me, and that's where my serenity truly resides! Enjoy the day MIP family! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you iamhere for your service and the great reminder!
When alcohol became my qualifier's DOC, I lived in denial for quite a long time. At first I told myself I was being "supportive," and that I needed to believe in my spouse... that the things he was telling me were true - even though deep down I knew something was off! I listened to what he kept telling me, and tried and tried to be the "perfect" recovery spouse. The problem was, that was all based on lies, and in the end, I was just living in Denial.
I know I belong!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
This topic echoes in me. I felt an imposter in many areas. That has abated as I came to accept life on its own terms. Who cares if I'm not my previous idea of 100% ? Of course someone else will often have a more strident or obvious qualification, but it does not negate my own situation.
With that, I was able to slowly use the tools. Still working on it, and plan to do so from now on. Life is so much better without that false narrative.
IAm, P. and Jill... when I came into Alanon I felt like an outsider- and believed that I was not a team player.
In the rooms I found supposes and partners of heavy drinkers- who had not had alcoholic family of origin. Was i going to be different from them- with a huge heap of grievances? I was told early to look for the similarities, and not the differences. I found out too- that i was fully capable of being a team player. I was capable of being and doing a lot of things.
I came from a family system that was full of alcoholism. And in the younger generation- of my wider family there were other drugs of choice. But the disease was the same one. I don't think I set out to cure the disease. I was on a pathway to find solutions to healthy living within myself. Maybe the sensitive and intelligent family members come forward first- to try and find solutions?
I was so fuddled I could never ever remember the opening and closing parts of the meeting. But I hear excerpts today with pleasure and joy. I think I could recite the steps now, if i had to. And am learning to apply the traditions, in a practical way.
A nice start, here, to my Wednesday- positive thoughts... ...
IAm, P. and Jill... when I came into 
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