The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP! Today's reading talks about the disease of alcoholism, and that it is classified as a family disease. It affects not only the drinker but those o us who care about him or her as well. The writer suggests that or some of us, our thinking that's been passed down from generations before is distorted.
We are reminded that when we seek recovery, and focus on ourselves, we allow the others in our lives to consider their own recovery/journey. Al-Anon gives us the tools and the program to give up worrying about everyone else and focus on our own sanity and health.
Reminder: One person's recovery can have a powerful impact on the whole family. When I take care of myself, I may be doing more than I realize to help loved ones who suffer from this family disease.
Quote from Living With Sobriety: "If one person gets well, the whole family situation improves."
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This simple page speaks hope to me. I arrived to Al-Anon broken, anxious and full of fear. Slowly, but surely, with practice daily, I am in a much different place. Focusing on progress vs. perfection, I can see great improvements in my family situation. With each obstacle in life, I am learning that I can 'do this' with a level of grace and dignity I did not have before. I am grateful today for the gift of desperation that brought me here as it gave me a new way of living and thinking.
Happy Thursday all....we have wind chills in the teens and just yesterday afternoon, I was on the golf course with temperatures in the 60s! It's a bundle up, stay warm, fluffy socks kind of day for me! Make it a lovely day all - (((Hugs)))!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Iamhere for your service! I hope that you had a wonderfully adventurous, gal-pal road trip!
The disease of Addiction does indeed affect everyone (to one degree or another) within a wide circumference! Couple with that the still prevalent shame associated - this keeps non-addicted people/family from seeking help. "I am not the one with the problem!" I know b/c I have said that very same thing in the past!
Having been to countless meetings for spouses & meetings "for the family," I know that the treatment/support model could use some updating. When the prevailing theory focuses more on the chemical changes that have occurred within the loved one's brain and how to navigate life Accepting that reality, then I believe support for families will really be effective. That coupled with Al-Anon (Keeping the focus on ourselves), would really be a winning combination! Just my 2 cents.
Even though I was not the one with the addiction, I have changed radically over the years... Al-Anon has helped me to understand what changes were coping mechanisms, which have stopped serving Me, and how to move forward with tools that serve ME well. It has also helped me to better understand and forgive my Ex. For that I am grateful, as he started out as such a great guy - and he still is at his core - but the holes and chemical changes in his brain caused by addiction have made him a different person. There really is no going back... just life moving forward, accepting what is, and learning new and better coping skills.
Grateful to have this forum and all the super supportive peeps!
Almost the end of the work-week. Make it spectacular! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you IAH for your service and for both above shares. These are important concepts that took me awhile to understand and accept. How could I have a problem when I wasn't drinking and driving? Why did I need special help when I didn't see my own damage? Why were my son and dtr in law so affected that they haven't spoken to my A in 3 yrs? I'm not sure that will ever get resolved but I did learn to stop trying to force solutions.
I've come a long way and it hasn't been easy. I have suggested alanon to my son but I understand why he isn't open to it. I am fixing myself and it's working. I can't fix anyone else. God is helping me to fix the things I can and know what I can't. It's a family-wrecking illness but I am no longer wrecked. I'm a work in progress, ODAT, Lyne
It took a long while for it to sink in that although I am not the A, I have been greatly effected and have spread my own brand of insanity to others as well. It never fails....when I keep my hands off others' issues and decisions, it helps them and me. I certainly am not perfect in this and know I never will be.....but my awareness has skyrocketed and I am able to diffuse myself quicker and back off territory that is not my own.
It is currently snowing here in western New York State. We had almost no June and now we are seeing the white stuff way too early in my estimation. Good news is that I am grateful for a day to stay indoors, putter in the house, read, knit and maybe put in a movie for myself.
Thank you to IAH for the post and to everyone for your shares.
I think one of the things I've struggled with in my own program is that I am working hard in AlAnon to change how I relate, but the alcoholic in my life took forever to go to AA, and nearly immediately stopped going. To me, it can feel like I'm doing the work I need to do on myself, and it is made harder because the alcoholic won't participate and do their own work. But, when I remember to keep the focus on me, and open my heart to seeing the positive change in my life and my family because of my AlAnon work, I understand that I can make a positive difference, with or without the Alcoholic's participation.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Yesterday I had a tantrum because I could not find something. I was tired and cold.
No one was around when I had the tantrum but my.dog.
Nevertheless for once I saw not being able to detach when I am on over load is not good. I made myself feel worse. Furthermore it did nothing to to help me kook.for the item I needed
I can be so quick to.point out the problems in others. I have my own problems. When I was around the now ex A I had plenty of tantrums
Maybe it is time to shelve the tantrums they are not serving me.
I held onto this kind of behavior before as #justified# but now it is not.
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