The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Working a program is hard work, it isnt easy becoming aware of yourself. It was not easy for me to stop blaming everything about myself on my parents, and my ex alcoholic husband after getting away from all my abusers, I took time alone with my kids in tow and went to al-anon meetings, found a sponsor and worked the steps for the first time. I stopped recounting all that was done to me and started recognizing my coping mechanisms that were no longer helping me in my life. I started scraping off the old dysfunctional layers of myself and what remained underneath was a strong and beautiful woman. The work was well worth it and continues within me. Just wanted to give some hope today, that although it feels scary to dig into some festering areas within, cleansing and healing them is well worth it! Sending you all love, prayers and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Great share BF - so honest, profound and true. I can relate - it feels like I spent a lifetime blaming/shaming others and looking beyond me for serenity, love and joy. I no longer feel that way and where I am is directly because of the program and my willingness to practice what's been suggested. I am still in my marriage and still have a high level of dysfunction with the disease and active loved ones, but I am not held back by it or a hostage to it any longer. I feel more free than ever before, and again, owe my growth/change to working this program. Half measures avail us nothing....we stand at the turning point, surrender, and work these steps with complete abandon....gratitude, serenity and pure joy are the rewards!! Great to see you!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanking you BFree for your ESH on this topic! It is a good reminder for sure.
I love your new Avatar! Could that be a Boxer puppy I see!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
oh yes. I remember sitting in meetings wanting to hug my coping techniques (which were harmful to me!). By returning week after week, I slowly came to know deep within that I wanted what he or she had. I had to know I was willing to try something new after finally understanding my goto responses were not working.
You described me. Man, that was a long road I'm still on.
I am thankful for the journey and the beautiful view it provides.
BF... I was told- in the first four weeks- "follow the winners". In my family there was a don't feel, don't cry, and especially don't tell.
We can tell the group, a trusted sponsor. In my early days people often went to trusted people in the community to do their middle steps.
I think different approaches suit different people... and timing is personal too... ...hmmm I am trying to thing of the right words here- don't... ~don't bottle it up~
Yep, that's the one. I was one bundle of misery- for years... locked up inside of myself... ...but there had to be a way through... great topic... ...
My life.got a.lot simpler.without an alcoholic in tow. I have had to distance.myself systematically from addicts and alcoholics. It never works out well for.me.
I most certainly did blame the.now.ex.A.for a lot of my problems
Currently I have to contend with an alcoholic supervisor. Let's just say she is making a lot of mistakes. These days it is not my life's mission to correct those mistakes. Would I rather work somewhere else? That is 8n the works. In the meantime I show up and try to maintain my serenity. This is a challenge after many years in the program. I use al.anon tools. I work hard on minimizing her impact.
I set limits lots of limits.
This is me being challenged.
I once tried to navigate living with an active addict alcoholic in full destructive mode with no program. Total.disaster
I was.totally swamped and drowning
I have choices these days. They are.not always the choices.I want. However with a program they are workable rather than miserable.
For me personally avoiding alcoholics and addicts helps. Detachment belps.with lots of limitations.lots of them
Maresie
Thank you for your post of hope. It is indeed difficult to peel away the layers and discover things you've relied on for so long, really aren't working for you. Al-Anon is a good place to figure out what will work for you!
Give that pup a cuddle for me! &
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Wednesday 30th of October 2019 09:21:11 AM
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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