The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how our self esteem can be affected after having lived with alcoholism. Dealing with the disease is a sure way to stamp down any sense of confidence and self worth. The writer describes how over time, attending meetings, finding a sponsor, were all ways that self esteem was rediscovered. This self worth was built upon by then doing service work such as chairing meetings, serving as secretary, etc.
For me, its taken some time to sort out myself again. Ive said it here before so I apologize for the repeat but when I came to alanon it felt like I had washed up on shore, after having been knocked around but some heavy surf. It took a long while to get accustomed to a new and more peaceful life. The peacefulness was unnerving at first! Then I struggled going to meetings until it wasnt a struggle anymore. After some more time and consistent work with my sponsor, I started writing here consistently. All of these things have helped me so much in my growth.
When I see that something I have written about has resonated with someone, I feel that I have been able to contribute. More often (much much more often), I read something here or in my sponsors words, and I have a better understanding of who I am working on becoming.
I appreciate the quotation from CTC which states:
Today, when faced with choices, I will opt for the path that enhances my self-esteem.
I would have to agree... I never knew just how downtrodden my self-esteem was until I got the focus off my addicted husband! Regaining that self-esteem took meetings, going back to school for a new career, and Step work with my sponsor.
I love this: "Today, when faced with choices, I will opt for the path that enhances my self-esteem."
Good stuff!
Hoping everyone has a relaxing Sunday! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Sunday MIP family! Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. I did not know how damaged my self-esteem was until I began the self-searching necessary for recovery. I believe my esteem suffered prior to the active disease in those I love, perhaps from childhood or ... I am not too sure but or as long as I can remember, in most situations, I felt less than. I spent a ton of time comparing and competing in my mind with those around me - sizing them up, rating them, and then placing me above or below them. It was taught and trained in me from a young age; my brothers still play 'the game'.
What I know now is that the best way to restore my self esteem is to do esteem-able actions. Recovery gives me the tools to practice and easy ones include random acts of kindness, service that's unseen/unknown, a smile to a stranger, a kind word to another I am disappointed in, encouraging a sick friend, forgiving others who've never asked or maybe don't even know they affected me, etc. The more I give of me to me, others, service, recovery, the more I get - all of which is healthy and positive! I never knew my life could feel this way and I am grateful...
I am up early tomorrow and beginning a road trip from my world to warmer weather, AZ, where my parents are. I am taking a gal pal along and we're very excited. I'm almost packed and have cooked a ton of food to leave behind for my guys! All the laundry is done, and the house is clean. We have no return date in mind, and taking a trip with no specific plan, interval, etc. is a new experience for me. We shall see how it goes!
I share solely because I don't know when/where I'll be with access to MIP. I don't do web on my phone by choice so ... I'll 'see ya when I see ya'! (((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Mary for sharing your ESh on this important topic. Self Esteem being destroyed by this dreadful disease not only effects the family but it does the alcoholic as well. l
IAH enjoy your trip
& 