The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the power of One Day at a Time. This slogan, and living it, can be one of the most difficult for those of us who get stuck in the past or are consumed with the future. The writer acknowledges this and adds that step 11, seeking out our HPs will and the power to carry it out, will help us stay in the present moment.
What I have noticed since coming to alanon is that I used to feel anxious about uncertainty: what is next, how can I control it, etc. These days I feel more confidence in saying that I dont have the answers, but have faith that the answers will come to me. Several years ago when I described a situation that I was feeling anxiety about to my sponsor, she suggested that I may be feeling anxious because of all the energy I was putting into forcing a solution to the situation. Of course in my stubbornness I didnt see it that way, but over time I began to let go of trying to force outcomes and can feel the difference in putting my energy into the moment I am in, rather than the ones that have gone by or have yet to happen.
Hi Mary One Day at a time is a fantastic slogan and not easily implemented. I know when i frist arrived i lived in the past most days and never appreciated the present moment. Using the slogans I leaned how to be present in the moment and how grateful I am, Thanks for your service
Thanks Mary for your service. ODAT seemed downright silly to me when I was new to program, as did all the slogans. Like many, I dwelled on past events and stayed anxious about the future. ODAT, Easy does it, Keep it simple, and many other helpful tools, allow me to re-center and find balance when I am off course. I still loose direction but can re-focus fairly quickly, Lyne
Most Sunday's, I find that your share mirrors my own experience! Today is no exception! It took me awhile to realize and accept that I was secretly trying to drive things in the direction I wanted them to be! It can still be a struggle at times, as I grew up believing if you just worked hard enough, you could accomplish anything. Sometimes you have to accept that no matter how hard you work, thing 1,2, or 3 just won't happen in the context of your life. You must make peace with that to find serenity IMHO.
Living One Day At A Time also helps to keep me out of the self-imposed "Why me's?" If I have a crappy week/day/moment, I can reset and begin anew.
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone!
(In David's case, his Monday! )
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily! Thanks to all for the shares and ESH. I too struggled with One Day at a Time concept - I was a structured, principled planning soul!! I would get out my old Franklin Planner and plan my weeks and often my months. While this is not entirely 'wrong' I learned, I also anticipated the outcomes, which is rather insane. Even the best of plans can be affected by a power greater than I, in spite of or in lieu of this disease.
It was the planning of outcomes that typically brought about the anxiety and the disappointment. From simple plans to complicated plans, I took way too much personally as I reflect. I am grateful today to practice One Day at a Time, and I try really hard to structure 'that' as outlined in the BB o AA (simply because it's very specific and logical, which works well with my brain).
"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.
What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why.
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
It works - it really does."
Following suggestions from those who've BTDT (Been There, Done That) helps me keep things simple. When I start my day the recovery way, it really helps me stay present, no matter what's going on around me.
Happy Sunday MIP family! Make it a great day! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
...I am finding this morning activity, of responding to one of the three readers, to be very soothing and healing.
I am learning new things- but am also wrapping up many seasons of learning and reading. Much more attention to detail- thanI ever thought possible.
One day at a time- for me- is about presence, and being present. Being in own skin. I relate to the time when had so many plans and schemes- they were impossible to fulfill. At one time, on my journey, it was one thing at a time, and one time at a time.
I am thinking about a family trip away- planned for next month. Something might get in the way of that- but not likely. So I am not sitting in the middle of echo-less void. I heard the word ~detachment~ at my first meeting, and along there way learned to embrace that.
I was locked up and trapped- between the what-if's and the if-only's. I recall that now as a memory. I had to shake myself out of that. It took time, courage, and patience. And I had the company of peers. I had others around... and this truly was a gift!
A gift I always want to shared enjoy!
I was out in my community last night [Sunday] and I realised that i was on the cusp of some change. Something really significant for me. A shift. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, exactly... and that is how it is. Like other times i know it will reveal itself- probably over the next few weeks...
Ohhhh Mary!! I love what you say here "I may be feeling anxious because of all the energy I was putting into forcing a solution to the situation. Of course in my stubbornness I didnt see it that way, but over time I began to let go of trying to force outcomes and can feel the difference in putting my energy into the moment I am in, rather than the ones that have gone by or have yet to happen.?"
My archilles heel......CONTROL!!!! Got to be in control or I panic!!! (Old FOO stuff because back then when I was not in control of my life which was most of the time, it WAS doom, it was DISASTER deluxe) but now, I have to keep telling me "that was then, this is now and we DO have a CHOICE" and yea, I am trying to practice "non resistance" if I fight the unwanted event, it just comes at me harder and it just sucks the life out of me....I am practicing with maybe C+ results non resistence....Breath....step back....try again later....ask for help.....or just walk away....the universe is going to have its way, anyway, so why fight it??? I do, though....This is my biggest and hardest thing to work through.......thank you for making me not feel alone......
Enjoy your Sunday, everyone!
(In David's case, his Monday! 
)
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