The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tomorrow's reading in Courage to Change speaks about physical abuse. Al-Anon recognizes that decisions about staying or leaving relationships are up to the individual. But it also emphasizes our personal responsibility to take care of ourselves and to be honest about our situation. We can be prepared and use resources to keep ourselves safe. We can try to avoid provoking a person who is prone to violence, but no one has the right to abuse us, and we did not cause someone to be violent.
Today's reminder: I don't have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence, I must be the one who changes. I'll start by being honest about what is going on.
Quote from In All Our Affairs: "There is hope, there is help, and I have an inalienable right to human dignity."
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I love, love, love how our program addresses abuse and violence. It does not blame the victim, but it gives us the dignity of having responsibility for our own choices, and the knowledge that we have choices. I love that one of the first pages in How Al-Anon Works is "A Special Word to Anyone Confronted with Violence." Safety is first. No one should be or feel unsafe in their home.
I am grateful to have landed on this page today, because -- although I am safe now -- I know how it is to feel unsafe, and I have so much gratitude for how our program treats this issue with urgency and respect.
I remember my initial impression of Alanon was not a positive one... I walked into a step 4 meeting as my first exposure to Alanon (beginner's luck ) and I felt the program blamed me for what was happening.
Thankfully, I made my way back to Alanon and continue to learn how to practice the tools to identify when I need to remove myself from harms way... whether it is outside or inside myself.
Thank you Freetime for your service, and bud for your ESH.
For me, everything seems to revolve around Acceptance. Abuse comes in many forms... but for many, it can be hard to accept what is happening without some "physical proof." I too, love that Safety First is paramount in this program.
Sending all of MIP & ... TGIF!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Friday MIP family! Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. I had experience with a physically/emotionally/verbally abuse alcoholic very early in my adulthood so had/have a zero tolerance policy well before Al-Anon recovery. What I know from that experience is that when you are in the middle of 'it', it's really, really hard to see reality and depart until it's not. Similar to this disease of alcoholism, those who've not been on the receiving end can't fully understand, offer their solutions and have good intentions.
I am also very grateful how Al-Anon embraces abuse. It's beyond true that everyone deserves to live a peaceful life without fear of abuse, violence or the like. Enjoy your day - we're headed back to summer temperatures today! Wacky weather - I saw some areas will be getting extreme snow - grateful that's not me! (((Hugs))) to all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks FT for your service. I have had experience with all the types of abuse, but most of it was many years prior to alanon. The abuse that has come from addicted partners was psychological and verbal. I didn't understand what was going on, but once I got involved with program, I gained understanding that has been very important for my health and well being. And with my healing and growing comes much better knowledge and decision making that is "me" centered. Program has produced a ripple effect for me that's been positive. I'm not sure my A agrees, but I'm OK with that too. I do this for me, Lyne
) and I felt the program blamed me for what was happening. 
& 
... TGIF!!