The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP family and Happy Thursday. Today's reading discusses feelings and how our gentle program suggests that feelings are neither good nor bad - they are simply just a part of who we are.
The writer believed that anger, resentment, jealousy and fear were 'bad' feelings when first coming to Al-Anon. Over time, the writer has come to realize that good has sometimes arrived as a result of one/more of those feelings. Anger has prompted changes in the writer's life. Resentment has become so uncomfortable, the author instead has learned to combat it - also bonus - praying for other people. Jealously has brought about a closed mouth when the words might be irrational or destructive. Fear has become the greatest gift for the writer - as it's forced an effort to make a conscious contact with a Higher Power.
As the writer has found positive as an outcome from perceived negatives, they are better able to accept the whole or bigger picture. There is no need to judge or hate self simply because a human feeling is experienced.
Reminder: Feelings may not be comfortable, but that doesn't make them bad. With a change of attitude, I have choices about what to do with my feelings. Anything can be used for my good if I allow it. Recognizing this opportunity may take every ounce of imagination I have, but maybe that's why God gave me imagination to begin with.
Quote from . . . In All Our Affairs: "My feelings are neither right nor wrong but are important by virtue of being mine."
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This reading reminds me that I arrived with extreme rigidity. Things were black or white, good or bad, right or wrong and my ego suggested I had the master plan for judging accordingly. What I have come to realize is that nothing happens by mistake, all I encounter has a purpose and most of my growth has come as a result of pain, fear, anger, etc.
Shades of gray are good! Today, I can pause and consider what is real vs. what is bopping around in my brain as projection or fear. I can use my own experience, strength and hope as well as that of others to look for the learning/growth when uncertain and I don't have to judge myself for how I feel. I have the right to feel as I do, and choices today how to proceed.
I love that our program is gentle and we don't tell others what to do (advice). We instead allow each person to feel, share, proceed forward at their own pace in their own way. I am grateful today for my feelings as they are the best measure of what tools I might pack for the 24 hours I plan to experience. And, just for today, I am feeling grateful and at peace as I see healing all around me.
Enjoy your day MIP family! We have temperatures starting @ 59 degrees going up to ~~75 - a lovely day weather wise + window weather! I am headed out to golf shortly and then have softball tonight. Working on dinner and laundry as I flow. Make it a great day MIP and keep your joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Iamhere for your service.
This reading from C2C is all about my recent loss of serenity with an exchange with my Ex. I was gently reminded that he did not "steal my serenity" or ruin my day... It was always in my power! I had the choice to act the way I wanted! I just didn't recognize the opportunity to mold that negative day into something better!
I am a work in progress, and appreciate today's reminder that feelings can sometimes be uncomfortable, but they don't have to stay that way. It's up to me.
Cooler weather today... I am grateful!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks IAH for your service. For many years of my life all my feelings were negative and I frequently was beating myself up verbally because of them. That's all I knew. And it was a rotten existence. As my A's came along, I tried to fix and heal them. Fixing me was never a thought until of course, program. And what a concept-get myself healthy. I knew I was a wreck but didn't know I could be fixed. I thought I was hopeless and would always be miserable. Not anymore! I feel the best I have in my entire life due to my 6 years in alanon. And better late than never, Lyne
Thank you, IAH for todays reading and your reflection. I was taught that feelings ARE bad. Even happy feelings would or could lead to something bad happening. Dont cry, dont be angry, don't be scared, dont feel proud or too happy. Thankfully, I know I feel what I feel and it doesnt make me bad or wrong. I can process my feelings quicker and with more awareness than I ever could thanks to this program.
Thank you for your service and share IamHere. Also many thanks for the other shares!
I was raised to show only positive emotions and there would be a penalty for a show of negative ones. As a young teen, I was away from home when an observer approached me and said, "you can't just smile to make things better". I didn't respond because I didn't understand. I knew it didn't make things better but it was the only way I knew to respond to things. To respond another way would be a mystery.
Thankfully, today I can express anger and express it in a healthy manner. I am growing more comfortable saying "no" and sometimes am still amazed when the other person doesn't respond with attempts to guilt, persuade me, or chide me.
I'm grateful to have the support to continue to grow into my authenticity. Thank you MIP Family and Alanon!
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