The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The O DAT reading for today,September 24 speaks about the importance of using the tools of the program in order to change our thinking. It points out that this is not an easy task indeed nothing is more difficul tin life.
AA literature suggests that if we stopped throwing aroind blame . we can take this one idea and meditate on it and act upon it until the end of the day what would happen if we stop blaming anyone else --we would experience miracles of grace and rich spiritual rule reflected in our life .
Who is to blame?, I have no right to blame so that all we can concentrate on keeping my own side clean more I can not do
Happy Tuesday Betty - thank you for your service and the daily.....I always appreciate your ESH. It took me a while to realize and accept that my thinking was faulty and a bit insane resulting from living with active alcoholism. My intentions were good and my heart was in the right place, but my thinking just magnified most things, and rarely slowed/stopped the throwing blame/shame beyond me.
I am grateful that our tools help me to focus on me. I am genuinely content that when I am discontent or uneasy, I can look towards me, my thinking, my heart and my HP to find solutions that were not available before. Blaming the disease and the diseased did nothing but compound my negative thinking and outlook - our tools give me the ability to change me, my thinking and my attitude. It is these very changes that have led me to serenity I didn't think possible and a joyful life beyond my projections or expectations. The God of my understanding does work miracles when I get out of the way and just do the next right thing.
We are enjoying some Fall like weather here! Hope all's good in your part of the world! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I thought that victimhood was a natural consequence of the disease. And it is. It leaves lots of wreckage in it's path. But here does that lead me. Locked up in the cycle of blame and shame. At my first ever meeting a member stood up- and said- 'when I am pointing my finger- there are three more pointing back at me'.
True enough. But I had a heap of anger and pain.Guilt maybe that I could not have done better. Grief. Fear too. A whole heap of mixed up emotion. So. okay I replace all of that with love and gratitude? Well yes... ... But is wasn't easy- and it did not happen overnight. But those first steps on the path were essential, vital.
Plain words, and plain thinking, Betty. Keeping things very simple. Living in the moment- priceless. ...
I do a quick step 10 to make SURE my side of the street is clean, staying in my lane...IF I am positive that I am "in the clear" I just step away and move on, there is a difference, to me, between blame and holding one accountable...IF someone does me wrong, yea, I hold them accountable, address the behavior, what needs to be done if we are to remain in friendship, or working together but I never ever address their *character* that is where I see blame....like my FOO...yea, he was 10000% accountable/guilty of his crimes against me, my mom, and my poor little siblings, one of whom has already killed himself, and yea, I do say he was evil and he is the ONLY human being, that I personally KNEW whom I labelled as evil...I don't toss that word around but very sparingly, but even so..I can wallow in hate, resentment and bitterness over his offenses, OR I can make the decision, tell my HP, I am willing to give up to the LIGHT the hate, resentment and bitterness and do that over and over until I am FREE OF HIM...it is taking time, but yea, I see progress....I do believe in reality and speaking/seeing teh truth...for so long, I lived in lies and darkness and more lies to cover up the darkness...I am GRATEFUL i no longer have to live in anything but the truth and what is real
sorry, I sort of got carried away, but your daily brought up some thoughts that I guess I needed to release from me....
... But is wasn't easy- and it did not happen overnight. But those first steps on the path were essential, vital.
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