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I think things have finally settled down for the most part there are still some things to address and I will .. at least I feel like I'm moving in the right direction .. OMG .. what a nightmare all this has been lately there's obviously some money lesson here and I'm really trying which is super frustrating I feel like I'm running in quick sand to say the least.
My oldest I'm really trying to let go and let God with that one .. LOL .. he's an adult I am here to help however I know he's struggling and I need to allow him to find some of his own answers. I really do like his new girlfriend. They are to cute together. I think he's got a lot more growing and this is going to be the relationship that helps continue to define him as him. At least he's on the right path from the looks of things. I do worry I have always had the card of I'll figure it out .. LOL .. and while I will figure it out .. he's got to figure things out too. I do miss my munchkin .. I don't see him to much at the moment. I don't like that part of the deal.
My youngest is doing well however was sick yesterday and this is NOT good .. the allergies here in TX has been horrible!!! I can't stress that enough. He was a hot mess about 2 weeks ago and we got him over that and son of a gun it flared again this week. I have spent a lot of money for this specific competition and he started getting ready this summer. This is a technical competition, so it's form, tone and sound. Kind of like when figure skating was judged on the technical stuff edges and so on. So there's no audience which SUCKS .. LOL. He has that this weekend and if he didn't go to school today he didn't get to perform in the competition tomorrow. So I stayed home and plowed that child with chicken noodle soup, zinc, vit C, OJ and so on .. LOL .. he feels better we are working on his voice .. I am going to get him cleaned up tonight with some tea honey and lemon .. he will be thrilled and no soda .. even more thrilled .. LOL.
Of course my X is still showing his butt .. however I can't control him .. I am working on controlling my reactions to him and making them responses and choices to those responses. I have written my budget to the best of my ability and all I can do is hope that he follows through and make a cushion if he doesn't. That's going ok at the moment. Although I know my honey is not thrilled because that means less mad money for us both .. however we got dem bills to pay and I just keep socking away money as I can. There is enough, OMG I need Murphy to stay out of my hula hoop!!!
Anyways, .. I am grateful and I'm not getting hit the way I have over the past 2 weeks I'm more prepared I guess .. my X always throws me though because I do not trust him after what he's put the kids and I through over the past 7 years. It's not healthy on any level to justify that kind of behavior and it's his ass that's showing. I am just letting it go. Well not so much letting it go as much as filing it in the extra storage cabinet of is it relevant to what I need at the moment. It may be relevant to the courts later .. not to me.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Glad to hear that your world is settling a bit. You sound like you are in a very good headspace!! I can read between the lines, and see you using your tools as you move through your life. Great job! You get a gold star for sure!!
Great news about your eldest. It is always easier when the mom likes the SO, but as you are already experiencing, the love is new, so it encompasses everything in his world right now. If he is fortunate, she will be a good influence and make this time easier for him... it just means you see less of him. Sad i know, but as I can tell you are fully aware... it is how life is and should be!
Sorry to hear about your youngest's troubles with allergies. I suffer as well, and it has been a rough year due to all the rains earlier in the year (or last year). Since I am weaning myself off of antihistamines (long-time user), I found relief in something I had known about forever, but refused to use ( I guess b/c I thought it was gross? dunno) - The Neti Pot. I scoffed at it, but after so many people telling me I should try it, I YT'bd some videos and then decided to give it a try.
Where have you been all my life Neti???? ROFLMAO!!!
I truly feel like a fool for being so stubborn, but now I can't see myself going to sleep without cleaning out my sinuses!! TMI? LOL!
I hope that your younger kidlet has a great competition!
Regarding your Ex - Keep doing you. Your thoughts of controlling only your reactions are spot on and will keep you centered among his flotsom and jetsom - but I know you know that.
Enjoy your weekend, Serenity!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
OMG .. I'm sooo excited and now worried .. LOL .. it will be ok. I'm keeping my thoughts to myself he's smart and gets it.
So he's made it through the first round and is on to the second. This is a HUGE deal he's the only 10th grader competing in our area. This means if he makes it through all the way he will be traveling. I don't know what that means financially and I will have to wait and see on that end. However it was the right decision for him to talk to his choir teacher regarding his schedule with theater (this was something that is in addition to classes as he is not in theater) and tell them he could not be in every single song. He's got this beautiful Base 2 voice for a kid who is 15 years old and still growing. Who knows how low he will go .. LOL. Or how it will change in the future, he is a wanted young man.
This semester alone:
New songs and performances - Jazz Choir (part of varsity huge deal again boy is 15 almost 16)
New songs and performances - Choral Choir (Varsity)
New songs and performances (did I mention the dancing??) - Theater production (Rock of Ages)
New songs and performances - Regional - Second round (there's another 1 or 2 that I'm aware of)
This doesn't include the actual extra performances plus he is having to get ready for a talent show that the choir folks put on, this year he will have 2 solos to practice for that.
Have I mentioned his regular school work O.o .. at least he's come to me now to tell me he's struggling in Geometry so we are going to be on the look out for a tutor. I need to put a bug in the ear of someone to find one.
I'm just at my wits end with scheduling.
Anyways, .. I thought sports were bad .. this is nothing .. oof.
S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Wonderful news! There is one good thing about his gift.... while it might not be technical, he can always practice singing while he studies his coursework! Music always tends to keep me focused, and I used that tool for my son as well. He continues to utilize it to this day.
Good job being there for him... he obviously knows he can come to you when he is feeling overwhelmed... that is a HUGE deal! Not only does it mean he thinks of you as a "safe" person, but also he feels no need to "protect" you from what he is feeling - so he thinks YOU are balanced and healthy! I applaud you! Enjoy this time... it is fleeting.
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
What a super talented child you have there. Is there a high school for the performing arts where you live? It might be easier at some point. And maybe he is already in one--I never heard of so many music opportunities in a regular high school. Their productions must be something else.
I felt for the musicians in college--they were doing all the course work the rest of us were doing, plus rehearsing 20 hours a week.
I didn't urge my daughter to be a music major, but she was the best bassoonist and was playing so much and decided she might as well be getting credit for it. She went to a very liberal school and got to do things like counting a pretty technical theory class as math, and music history for history. She still graduated summa cum laude.
So--you are very happy for your son and at the same time it's a bit of a mixed blessing for you. Of course everyone wants him for the production that teacher is working on, but there is only one of him, and he's young. I'm sure you and he will figure out the balance.
All Best,
Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
LOL .. I laugh with this kid .. he doesn't want to do theater and that's what perplexed me about him joining and don't get me wrong I was totally thrilled. He is not about being on stage dancing and singing .. he's about performing songs.
He really took a look at what his overall commitments are and said mom .. I think I'm in over my head .. LOL. I told him that's fine. It IS ok to say you know what .. let me get back to you on what my schedule looks like and have some discussions about it. Think about your overall goals and what you want, vs making the commitment and you honestly can't.
He went himself and spoke to the theater teacher who wasn't happy however at least didn't try to make him feel guilty. His focus is Regionals not theater.
He gets to letter this year in that event and because he's in Varsity and so on. Or at least I think so, so I need to look at getting him a letters man jacket, I don't know if this year or next would be a better buy because I know he will have additional things to add. I could plan a little better going forward for sure.
I'm still super excited and can't wait to see what this year brings on. I'm SOOOO excited he's singing Fly Me to the Moon .. I LOVE that song for his end of the year performance. I'm so glad I made both my kids listen to everything however he's doing an old Ice Vanilla song too for a talent show, although he will have to have a back up because he has to nail it for it to be IN the program .. let me laugh now .. I told him have fun with it. He's looking at a Dean Martin song as the back up song I think. AGAIN LOVE IT!!!
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
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