The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not sure why I do this to myself and I'm def the one doing it .. I decided to go and look at my adopted dad's facebook page .. he recently turned 86 I think a few months ago. You know what he's super blessed to be super active .. this is totally who he is and I'm actually glad for him .. he would have probably died a long time ago had he stayed with my mom. He's def someone who believes you are as old as you feel not your chronological age. The man has lived a life without question.
I get all moody when I look at his page .. how dare he have a happy life and not give a damn about the havoc he's caused in others .. right? LOL. UGH. That's all me nothing to do with him. Watching a couple of the video's it struck me .. he's living his life and he's happy .. why do I feel the need to pick everything apart .. constantly. How about I take a lesson from this and just be flipping happy regardless of what others are or aren't doing. Let them do them and allow myself to just be in the present of being happy.
So this time instead of feeling all moody and upset after looking at his page I thought wow .. what's the lesson other than don't look at his page .. LOL. And I have no desire to mend the relationship specifically since it triggers me on so many levels, however I just want peace. I would like to look at his page and just laugh in a good way. The biggest lesson is I always have a choice .. I can be a miserable cow which doesn't affect anyone outside of my circle, although it can help cause great distress inside my circle. OR I can really focus on just being happy and grateful for what's going on and every week look forward to the next adventure. After watching my adopted dad though I thought .. yah .. I think I would rather just focus on being happy and grateful .. anyone can be a miserable cow .. not everyone can truly be at peace with themselves and others.
Happy Monday :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I absolutely loved be this! It really struck me as true for me too. Today I read ODAT and one line stood out for me. "What am I doing with what I've got?" That was what I've been pondering for the day. Am I being a miserable cow and wasting what I've got or am I enjoying every moment I can? Great work!
-- Edited by KT2015 on Monday 9th of September 2019 01:59:52 PM
Sounds like you're discontent, Serenity. I think I posted something similar in PnP's thread, but to be honest it sounds like things aren't feeling right inside for you so you're looking outside for reasons or solutions.
I've done that plenty of times myself, too. I'm restless and discontent, and instead of doing what I know I should - ie: pick up the phone and talk to my sponsor. Pause. Pray. Meditate. Do something productive or creative... I instead go somewhere that I know stirs me up. I pick a fight with someone. I read news stories that upset me. I go to the hardware store looking for bread and get angry and resentful when I don't find it. I compare other people's outsides to my insides.
Essentially I create my own drama.
So... back to square one. I'm powerless. What is REALLY bothering me that I'm avoiding by partaking in activities that trigger and upset me?
Great awareness that it's all about you!
Now to search for the tiny kernel inside! Happy journeying!
Hope you enjoy the week! &
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Love the share - I did chuckle too.....when I have an aha/lightening bolt moment, I'm not as 'gentle' - I always suggest that God has hit me upside the head with a 2 x 4....
Great, great awareness girl....you certainly do deserve to be happy, joyous and free - go for it! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have s look ent decades working on m.famiky of origin issues. I didnt speak to my family if origin for over 10 years.
Now I have extremekly limited contact with them
One thing I would say about an alcoholic is that the successful ones are really good at #lookimg good#
I no longer have to buy into the display
I believe detaching is one of the hardest skills to learn. It requires constant practice.
Detaching from family of origin is incredible work.
Even attempting to do it requires courage and commitment
Maresie
I had a similar discussion with a friend -- he kept looking at a certain person's FB page, and it hurt him, it bothered him, it upset him. I suggested not looking. He said, yeah but, however, you don't understand, but she did this, she said that, she was wrong, and so on and so on. He had all these reasons why he could look, should look, it was OK to look, and so on. But it bothered, upset, and hurt him. So I asked "how's that working for you?" I suggested not looking -- so that he didn't get upset, bothered, hurt, etc.
At the end of the day, what it came down to...HE CHOSE TO LOOK. No one else. It was on him. Up to him. His doing. Why did he look? Because he wanted to.
Most people don't get this.
Thanks for sharing...I really enjoyed your perspective, with your awareness. Thanks.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
& 