The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tomorrow's reading discusses Step 7 and the author's experience. When arriving at this step, the writer identified an extensive list of feelings as shortcomings. They humbly asked God to remove their anger, fear and guilt, looking forward to the day when this would happen. Needless to say, the day did not arrive! The author instead learned that feelings aren't shortcomings. In reality, the biggest issue they were having was a stubborn refusal to acknowledge their feelings, accept them, and to let them go!
The author suggests we have little power over what feelings arise but we can choose what to do about them. The author learned to accept their feelings, share them with others, recognize they are feelings and not facts and letting them go is a great solution. Step 7 instead gave the author relief from the shortcoming that blocked her self-acceptance.
Reminder: When I take the Seventh Step, I pray that whatever interferes with my Higher Power's will for me may be removed. I don't have to have all the answers. I need only be willing.
Thought from In All Our Affairs: "We didn't necessarily get the results we wanted, but somehow we always seemed to get what we needed."
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Step 7 starts with the word Humbly....I came to recovery with a warped definition for humbly and had to first accept a more simply definition - to be teachable. That was much easier for me to swallow and helped me realize that Humility and Ego can't co-exist in ME!!! I had to let go of thinking, wanting, believing, practicing that I had all the answers, knew what was best for me and others and the like. Instead, I had to take my previous written Step work which showed clear patterns of unhealthy behaviors and humbly ask for my shortcomings to be removed.
It took even longer to accept that what is happening is exactly what's supposed to be. I can be sad for what's happening in my life, my country, our world, etc. but I don't have to react or even respond to those events. I just need to acknowledge my feelings and let them go. My sponsor reminds me when needed that I can Thank God for the pain (even if I don't want to) as I tend to still be stubborn at times, and do more growing when I am forced to than when I want to.
Make tomorrow great and keep your joy MIP family! I am playing ball late tonight and golfing super early in the morning! I finally remembered to 'post early' vs. 'posting late' - only took me 3 weeks to get it together - ha.ha.ha.....(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning and thank you for your service Iamhere.
I truly appreciate and relate to your share.
When first coming into the rooms, I was stuck clinging to the hope of "wishing" things to reality and the negative emotions that grew as time passed without change.
Acknowledgement, acceptance, and action.
As I practice, I come to understand what is in front of me and that I can chose to accept the situation. I know if I don't chose to accept the situation, I will feel stuck in negativity.
Instead of rushing in to "fix" things, I now pause and turn too Alanon.
I still struggle with letting things go and trusting my HP to lead me to where he wants me to be. There's a lot of opportunity for me to practice a constant renewal for myself by turning things over. (It's a rare occasion when it's "one and done".) Uncertainty is scary. I know it's part of life. I also know the pain of not moving with life can eventually be much greater than the pain of moving with life's flow. When I work the 7th step, I can more readily stay in the moment and receive surprises along the way.
It's a short work week for me, and I am glad for it!
I can so identify with bud's share of clinging to the hope of "wishing." It wasn't until I acknowledged that in me, did I begin to truly heal.
The three A's for sure!!
I am not sure I am yet at the stage that what is happening is exactly what should be... but I am open and willing - and that is the first step!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you IAH for your service. I too used to wish and hope and only found myself deeper in an emotional pit of desperation. Alanon, the steps, the people, all of it really, have given me a new and better way to live my life. I see my defects but without verbal abuse now. I accept I can't be perfect and need HP and others to heal. I pray each morning that God removes my character defects. It's all good! Lyne
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