The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for today 8- 20 speaks about minding our own business and keeping the focus on ourselves. It talks about a member whose hubby joined AA who then assigned herself the task OF attending meetings with him. The reading suggests that at this point it does seem like a child thinking they are in charge of the person What makes us think we know what's right?
The prayer is: Teach me to think straight and not take offense at criticisms that is meant as loving guidance
I am happiest when I am concerned with only my stuff. When I finally accepted that I did not have one iota of control over my spouse's addiction issues, that is when I began to heal... felt like the longest road ever, though! LOL!
I hope everyone creates a wonderful day for themselves... our daily attitude... that IS under our control!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks for your service Betty. It seems simple enough to keep the focus on myself but at times I slip back and then things become dreadful. NOT because of my A, but because of myself. Simple but hard. I'm dedicated to this program and will continue to practice. Progress not perfection, Lyne
Today's message is definitely meaningful for me. I have shared many times how my AH's health is deteriorating resulting not only in physical changes, but mentally, emotionally, socially, etc. He has a doctor appt today and about a month ago, I was determined to go with him to ask the questions and get the information I know he wouldn't ask, understand or really care about. By golly, I was going to march into that office with him and demand to know exactly what is going on, to what extent his condition is failing, yada, yada, yada. I would be on the same page with the doctor and know exactly what was what!
Well, you know what.....I didn't go with him today. Although, yes it does affect me in ways, it really isn't my business. Hubby has yet to follow any doctor's instructions.....I'm surprised he takes his daily meds in all honesty. It doesn't matter what I know, what the answers are, how severe the condition because I can already see what is happening. All I would do is arm myself with more fuel and ammunition on why he should change his ways. I would be more frustrated, worried, obsessed and furious that he probably won't do anything about it anyway.....he has yet to. Sooooo, I decided to mind my own business. It is hubby's doctor, his appointment, his information to do with what he wants. He is not a child.
Timely message for me today.....mind my own business.....let go and let God.....one day at a time.....more will be revealed.
Happy Tues MIP!
Ellen
-- Edited by El on Tuesday 20th of August 2019 10:24:29 AM
Happy Tuesday MIP family! Yes - a reminder to mind my own business and stay in my lane is always helpful.....Boy - I too can go along, have peace, joy, serenity, etc. and each/every time it appears to be slipping, I can (thank you program) use our tools and see what has changed - me!! I've either drifted from my lane or I've starting taking things personally or I've slipped in my priorities (me, program, self-care, etc.)
The longer and more I practice, the faster I can get right-sized and into my lane. My youngest was thrown completely sideways yesterday as out of the blue, I offered to go and get his license plate for his car that he bought. I offered to be of service as he's currently working 6 days a week, and the hours for the state/county office are limited and I have the time. He did not even ask; I just offered and his chin almost hit the carpet.
I am better at being of service today with no strings attached. I did not have to remind him it needed to be done nor did I have to endure complaining about the many hours he working, the hours of the facility, etc. I just offered to be of service and he accepted....
We are on the last day of some extremely hot temperatures again! I suppose those each of middle will get it next. I'm grateful cooler weather is on the way! I drive my mom to the airport in a couple hours - will miss her as always but am also grateful to be getting my bed back for tonight! Make it a great one all - find and keep your joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Keeping the focus on me has been such a beneficial thing. I wa's so foreign to my previously usual ways.
I had to be brought to my knees before I even dared consider focusing on me as my job.
By coming back, I intend to continue this focus.
I'm still struggling to keep the focus on me, as my tendency is to focus on things and, more recently, other people (huge slip). Lately, I've been practicing asking myself how I feel at various times of the day, with various situations, with various people... and, identifying when it feels good versus when it doesn't. If it feels good more please! If it doesn't then I consider better boundaries or a slogan that helps me release.
Thanks for your service Betty.
Boy do I love this daily reader because it's a bit more direct and abrupt without being mean and sometimes I need that straight to the point approach. it's not my usual reader but I did read that one yesterday.
I get so caught up in trying to manage others until my life gets unmanageable and then I am forced to pull it back in. Before Al Anon I would get to a point of exhaustion or whatever before I realized I had to let go. Now I know the signs of things becoming unmanageable and I am able to let go a little quicker when I catch myself doing it. I actually know the desperate feeling I get when I am focusing my life on someone else instead of myself. Readings like this are always a good reminder.
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