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Post Info TOPIC: Dont want to ride...


Senior Member

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Posts: 305
Date:
Dont want to ride...


the roller coaster anymore.  After attending the MA Alanon Convention this past weekend I had come to realizations for myself that I am putting into practice.  The most important of them for me at this time is that I am chosing not to ride the roller coaster of my husband's disease.  This applies to the biggest of issues to the most trivial items.


After having a nice quiet evening with my husband on Sunday, last night was an entirely different scenario.  I for the first time in a while was able to stand outside of the situation and watch as it unfolded.  Definitely offers better perspective.  The situation was mundane enough.  My husband and I decided to watch a movie together after the kids went to bed.  He was watching a movie with my son and when my son went to bed my husband said he was going finish the movie they were watching.  I continued on with what I was doing at the time, figuring that he would let me know when he was starting the video we were to watch together.  He never said anything, until after he came home from picking my son up at work.  He started with the little digs and shots about not wanting to spend time with him.  I listened and quietly stated the facts of the situation.  I told him that he needed to communicate with me that he was starting the movie, that I could not read minds or see through walls to know he did so.  His victim portrayal was an oscar winning performance - however - I chose not to get into the emotions of it all.  I chose to stay to the facts.  When all was said and done, he went to bed in a huff (nothing new there) and I did what I needed to do which included thanking my HP for the ability to stay true to myself and communicate the facts not the feelings.


The experiences I picked up at this conference and at others like it so enhance my program.  I hear others share on their ES &H and gain new insight and perpective on how to handle situations. 


 



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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all! Karen


~*Service Worker*~

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Three cheers for AlaMom!!!


Isn't it cool, when we get those tidbits of finally "getting it??".  Well done, and it's all encouraging stuff!


Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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May I have the envelope please?.......

And the Oscar goes to ............Alamom!!!!! for her winning Alanon Performance!!!!!!!!!


Way to work it!!

Christy

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.



~*Service Worker*~

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Good for you!  Glad you were able to put into practice stuff you learned!  Three cheers--Hip, hip Hooray!! Hip Hip Hooray!! Hip hip hooray


Dawn



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~*Service Worker*~

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Way to keep it short and sweet.  Keep up the good work.


Josey



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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3131
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Sounds like you really enjoyed getting together with all the other alanon people. Thats very cool.


Look at the progress ya made. To step back and watch is really showing your alanon  health, your detaching.


For me I don't say statements or anything. I refuse to talk to the A when he is obnoxious. If I say anything I might say, "yes you might be right."


More likely the A when he is a butt, I pretend he is invisible.Fortunate for me, these days, he is.


love,debilyn



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"If wishes were wings,piggys would fly."
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~*Service Worker*~

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I won Best Supporting Enabler once. Alamom's is a much better award !

Way to go !!!!

Bob

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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are!  (added by me...in that special alanon way)



Veteran Member

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Posts: 69
Date:

Good for you Alamom!


It's usually the opposite in my house. I want to do something with my hubby, he's usually spending time drinking beer with his "buddies." Cause that's, as he puts it "what buddies do."


I'm glad you were able to stick to the facts. I find if & when I do that, it helps diffuse arguements. Not an easy thing to do!


Debbie


 


 



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~*Service Worker*~

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((((Karen))))).,


Now if we could only somehow fit conferences into a monthly habit - man would life be good.


So glad we were able to spend time together.  I really enjoyed it and your company.


Love Maria



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If I am not for me, who will be?  If I am only for myself, then who am I?  If not now, when?


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1263
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Alamom,

That light bulb moment can be a wonderful thing. I live with addiction and my hub just doen't get what the hell he is doing to this family.

I have had a similar experience myself of late.

You go, keep the faith and God Belss you. Take care of you and move forward with the things in life that you love.

Andrea

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Tomorrow is not a guarantee enjoy today
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