The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a focus of step 5, and how revealing our character defects to God, ourselves and others can help us move forward in recovery. The writer describes getting a bit stuck on step 5, with a list that was completely negative. With the help of another, the writer started to see that each defect could be matched with a positive attribute and accomplishment.
When I worked through the steps the first time, I remember my sponsor pointing out that what we have recognized as character defects are also traits that may have helped us at one time that we no longer need. For example, at one time I listed a trait of skepticism. I would approach situations assuming I couldnt trust them. I began to see that there was a time that I felt I couldnt trust lots of situations in my life. Five years working the program, at this point, I no longer need to approach every scenario with skepticism. It served me well, as a defense mechanism at one time, and is no longer necessary the way it once was.
I am making my way through the steps for the second time, and coincidentally am on step 5 right now. What I have noticed is that the first time through it was all about others in my life: the As, my family, others. This time through I can feel that the focus has shifted more to myself, a person I am more at ease with each day.
Happy Sunday Mary and thank you for the daily and your service. I too have found that the longer I practice recovery, the more I focus on me, and what I can change (me). I too was ultra focused outside of myself when I arrived and began this journey and am grateful today that acceptance of what is and who others are comes easier.
I have come to accept that many of our defects are actually just traits that we magnify possibly because of the affects of this disease, or to survive or just because that's what we were taught to do. For example, I can be very competitive as I was raised in a family where we competed and compared on most things. I have come to trust and believe that working hard, playing hard and being competitive are not unhealthy unless/until I use that trait to beat myself up or tear others down. I could go on and on and on - and my experience is similar! It was I who exploited God-given human traits and being/becoming aware that I can examine and learn healthier ways is just a bonus!
Grateful for recovery and grateful for MIP! Happy Sunday all....make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Happy Sunday, MIP!! Here in the states, it's Father's Day... so I would like to wish all those who act like a father (in whatever capacity), a happy, blissful day that is all about you!!
Mary, thank you for your service. I am always so happy to see your smiling Avatar!!
It is through this program that I began to see myself as worthy... to understand that my traits aren't all bad... like Iamhere said, they are good traits that have been magnified tenfold, thus making them problematic in my life!! Today, I am learning how to balance these traits, and like Mary mentioned, get rid of those that no longer serve me.
I am currently dealing with a bee "reproductive swarm" in my yard... so we've had to be very careful! Hope they move on soon!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Aloha Family and mahalo for the early posts and wisdoms. I'm up and slowly getting ready for my morning meeting and the fellowshipping that will be there. I can feel anything else but being blessed as HP continues to provide.
Not everything here is working perfectly however my heart is laughing and smiling as two little yellow chickee critters fly up to the window next to this computer and attach themselves to the screen and look in at the computer to welcome "Dad" to father's day. LOL Maybe they are expressing thanks for the bird seed I spread out for them on the drive. Think?
HP loves the heck out of me because of what and how HP provides my spirit,
Happy Fathers Day to your Fathers and husbands and sons who will become. (((((hugs)))))
