The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about step ten (Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.)
The author shares that, since step 10 is a part of their daily routine, they like to think of it as a gentle, warm, and loving way to take care of themselves. By continuing to take their personal inventory and promptly admitting when they are wrong, the author has been able to clear out many unwanted attitudes that might otherwise clutter their day. Living one day at a time, the author shares, involves more than pulling thoughts away from fears about the future. It also means not carrying forward baggage from yesterday. By asking themself each day whether the excess baggage from the past is serving any needs today, the author has been able to let it go and walk away from unwanted negativity with a light spirit.
Today's Reminder: On this new day, let me quietly reflect and search out any negative feelings that are left over from yesterday. Old resentments will interfere with my serenity today. Perhaps it is time to let them go.
Today's Quote: "Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free." ...In All Our Affairs
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I like step ten, and what a relief it was to get to it! step ten shows me a way of living that is different from how I had been living before. When I admit right away when I am wrong, I only have to be wrong for a short time. If I do not admit when I am wrong, I tend to carry that wrong-ness forward, and continue to act on it, defend it, cultivate it. One moment of being wrong used to stay with me a long time. Step ten offers me a different approach. It reminds me that, since I am human and I am always learning and growing, I am bound to make mistakes along the way. When I make a mistake, I can admit it, apologize if needed, learn from it, and move forward. I don't need to carry my wrong-ness into the next day, week, month, or year. I can admit I was wrong, and confine it to a passing moment, moving lightly forward. I used to fear what others would think of me if I admitted when I was wrong, but now I see that self-awareness as a real strength. I cannot grow and change if I am not willing to make mistakes. And, making mistakes or being wrong isn't the end of everything - it is the beginning of the next step I need to take to become the best version of myself I can be.
It is drizzling here today a bit. The pups and I got out for our morning walks anyway, and are only slightly soggy. I love the early morning walks - before the neighborhood is awake. One of my favorite things is to listen to the birds waking up and singing their early morning songs. Since it is summer, Bailey and Itty are trying hard not to squeal at the bunnies, and Chloe is amused by the hopping that frogs and toads do.
Something I heard at the tables recently that I really like: Have a great day, unless you chose otherwise.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Scorpi for your service and a great share. If you admit youre wrong right away you can let go of it in a short time. Thats a great way to live and one that I try to follow. Why carry around a bag of junk that weighs us down when we can unload and be free? I like step 10 as well and just finished it for the second time. Steps are great! Lyne
When I was first in the rooms of Al-Anon (heck, even this second time around) I never understood why this important step was #10! Everything you shared about it, Skorpi, are all good things... why wait until later to do these things?
Well, b/c many times, we cannot see our own behaviors, or we see and acknowledge them, but are not ready to accept them and take full ownership of them. When we finally reach that point of acceptance, we are then ready to be able to implement Step 10 fully. Just me two cents anyway! LOL!
I really like that I no longer live in the House of Perfection! It takes so much stress of me, and of course helps others b/c I will freely make amends as mistakes happen.
Crazy weather lately... never understand how here in SoCal, we can be exclaiming about the snow storm in Big Bear one week, then a few days later it is 103 degrees!!
I am imagining Mother Nature saying, "Oh, so you want some summer weather?" "BAM!!!!" "Here ya go, silly humans!"
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. I remember hearing ODAT early in recovery and really thinking that was a crazy concept. I was a planner, had a planner and very Type A - orderly, etc. So - the disease sent me spinning often daily and my plans went to he!! and yet, I kept doing, hoping, expecting the same things --- day after day, week after week! That's one way I was insane - if I just planned, worked, acted better then ............................................................
Slowly, as I worked through the steps, the concept of ODAT made much more sense. What Step 10 does for me each evening is it helps me clean the slate, using an eraser to file the day away. I don't have to classify it as 'good' or 'bad', I don't have to consider who did what to whom, when, where,e tc. I only have to reflect on my day and my actions and attitudes and examine my motives and growth and areas for improvement! This so helps me to feel renewed and ready upon awakening to live in the present and to consider this day only.
I spent countless days and years carrying the load of the past into each day, and then even more of the present projecting (negatively mostly) about future events. Consciously considering Step 10 and what it intends/suggests really helps me leave the past in it's place and focus on the here/now. This has been such a gift for me as a person who always worried, planned, worried, planned, etc. So, so grateful!
I hope everyone has enjoyed their 'hump day'! We had a productive day here - laundry, errands, shopping, etc. and then all dined together! This included my oldest and his family - so, so glad I made extra dinner as they were last minute diners! Busy, busy, busy - but fun busy!!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
If I do not admit when I am wrong, I tend to carry that wrong-ness forward, and continue to act on it, defend it, cultivate it. One moment of being wrong used to stay with me a long time. Step ten offers me a different approach. It reminds me that, since I am human and I am always learning and growing, I am bound to make mistakes along the way. When I make a mistake, I can admit it, apologize if needed, learn from it, and move forward. I don't need to carry my wrong-ness into the next day, week, month, or year. I can admit I was wrong, and confine it to a passing moment, moving lightly forward. I used to fear what others would think of me if I admitted when I was wrong, but now I see that self-awareness as a real strength. I cannot grow and change if I am not willing to make mistakes. And, making mistakes or being wrong isn't the end of everything - it is the beginning of the next step I need to take to become the best version of myself I can be.