The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The June 7 page in ODAT says there is a difference between politeness and courtesy. Courtesy is an expression of love and concern for another's well-being, comfort, and peace of mind. We sometimes overlook courtesy in daily contacts with those we love.
Reminder: "The warmth and kindness of courtesy will take the sting out of resentments, and give dignity and importance to the members of any household, making them feel secure and loved."
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I remember when I was too angry and frightened to be really courteous to the alcoholic in my life. The best I could do was act "as if" I was being courteous, but I wasn't feeling it. With the help of the program, the love and concern began to grow a little bit. I had to first be courteous to myself, and then there was space to be courteous to others.
Thank you so much for sharing this today free time. concern for the comfort and well being and peace of mind of loved ones. I actually need to stop and ask myself if I am actively manifesting concern. I feel I have just gotten to grips with politeness ie being reliable by choosing commitments wisely, knowing I can complete them and saying no if I can't. Being on time, notifying of absence or lateness. I think I may have become smug! Grateful for this message right now.
Beautiful reminder I know that prior to program i expressed politeness without much love or cconcrn for others. Thanks o program I have shed many of my protective defects and can no show love even to strangers,
Thanks FT for your service. The longer I'm in program the better I get with courtesy, and yes, even with strangers. I have the most trouble with my A, but I am working on it, Lyne
Thanks Freetime for the daily and your service. Love the shares above! I too was a fake it until I make it gal for a while, yet over time, the program and the practicing of healthy responses changed me from the inside out. I am able to allow another to be as they are (even when it's crazy-making, mean, derogatory, etc.) and just stay in my lane....of note - I sometimes do an eye-roll on the inside still!
I am grateful that I am quickly able to see what is vs. what I think is and not give my power away! I am working with a gal currently who's having problems with a co-worker....my gal is taking everything (and I mean everything) personally and is struggling to just let go...it's all about practice, practice, practice for me and that's the ESH I have.
I do unconditionally love my diseased loved ones and am better at showing it today than I was before. Progress is my goal always - perfection is over-rated!
My parents come in 2 days - cleaning still, shopping, etc. I gave the dog a much needed shower today and filled a kitchen trash bag with her hair! Oh lordy.....she's a hairy gal. I went over to play with the puppy for lunch after attending a funeral with my aunt - it's been a full day. I am grateful I am able to be of service to others, even if it means I missed golf on a lovely day! There's always more time for golf - not always the same with family! Hope everyone had a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
