The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Early plans tomorrow, so posting a bit early. The reading discusses how Al-Anon suggests and teaches us how to be gentle with ourselves. For many who are living or have lived in a household where alcohol is abused, this is a foreign concept. Most of us instead worked for perfection and then hated ourselves whenever we fell short of our goals.
The writer first heard, "Be Gentle with Yourself" at a meeting. She pictured finding a little kitten and holding in in her cupped hands. She imagined the feelings this might generate - tenderness, patience, compassion, wonder and love. The writer instead envisions putting herself into the kitty's place and focused those tender feelings on herself.
Through growth in recovery, the author sees that her HP holds her in the same gentle way - protecting her, guiding her and loving her every day.
Reminder: If I am being hard on myself, I can stop and remember that I deserve gentleness and understanding from myself. Being human is not a character defect! Today I will be gentle with humanness.
Quote: "The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate." from John Ruskin
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I chased perfection for a long while in my life and it was exhausting and always just out of reach. Being 'gentle' was foreign to me - including self, others, etc. I really felt there was right and wrong and no in-between - very black and white thinking. I've learned in Al-Anon how to be gentle with myself, seek to understand, trust in the God of my understanding and accept that I am perfectly imperfect.
I can own my mistakes, and make amends today when/as needed. I can also be gentle with myself and love me today - both vastly different than before. I am grateful for recovery, my openness, my HP, MIP and our many tools that help me be a better version of me. Progress always, not perfection - my glass is half full!
Make tomorrow great MIP - you deserve it!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great reminder iAH Being gentle with myself and others was diifficult at irst but after working the slogans and steps i now findit is my second naure and life is more inspiring
Thanks for your service
This is a great reminder....Be gentle with yourself. Especially for those of us whos FOO was anything but gentle, this is one gift we can give ourself. Perfection, impatience, and wanting to accomplish it all was my life. Today I cool my jets, realize I am not and will never be perfect, and pursue dreams that are important to me....not to impress others or prove my worth.Iam more aware of me and definitely am more gentle with myself.
When I look back, I think I was always chasing that "perfect" version of me and my life. Chasing being the operative word. What a relief to have come here and find out that we don't have to be perfect!!
I really love the quote, as I find that generally, people who entertain social media a lot tend to lean on the "mean girl" side of things... so much negativity! I would rather ask myself or others what can I love, value, and appreciate!!
Only 1 more day until Friday, folks.... I am counting the hours! LOL! Enjoy your Thursday!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I love everything about "being gentle with ourselves", and it is truly one of my favorite parts of our program.
Daily affirmations helped me tremendously, even when I was in "fake it till you make it" mode....
One of my favorites:
I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time....
I also think sometimes people mistakenly confuse gentleness with weakness (and thus throw darts at the gentle reflection approach).
To me, gentleness is simply another (great) tool to encourage us to use self-reflection & awareness, but stop short of letting it turn into self-mutilation.
We are - all of us - Miracles in Progress, regardless of where we our in our respective recoveries...
Thanks for sharing
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
