The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for today starts by quoting Socrates, "Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart's desire; the other is to get it."
The problem with thinking only about our will is that either we get it and are not satisfied, always pushing for more, or that we don't get it and feel deprived. Lasting satisfaction comes from letting go of self-will and placing the Higher Power's will above our own.
Reminder: The path to my true heart's desire is to surrender to the will of my Higher Power.
I have good ideas, good intentions, and wonderful goals for myself and other people. Why would I need to place any other will above mine? For me, the problem is that I cannot see all the possibilities. Often when I know the one right thing to do -- a completely different thing happens, better than anything I thought of. That is why my will cannot be the be-all and end-all. I have to accept that there are angles I cannot see and that the best outcome may be out of my control.
Happy Friday MIP - thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. For so, so long I was focused on my will and my wants. I really wanted myself and others to 'be' as I thought they should be. Recovery has given me the ability to own my powerlessness, let go of my will and just 'go with the flow'! Imposing my will and my wants was tiring, unfulfilling and just a waste of my time/resources.
I am better able to today to just be me and accept others as they are. This does not mean all is perfectly well with the world - instead just that I am tooled to accept and move forward. This is vastly different than before when I would get stuck in analysis, looking for cause, fixes, etc. Keeping life simple and embracing and trusting a power greater than myself has freed me from the bondage of self.
Make it a great day all - we are to have rain starting today continuing for the next several days! It is what it is and grateful I have a plan B, C, etc. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This reminds me of a theory I've heard called the "Law of Reversed Effort".
The more I try to bend everything around me to my will the less control I end up having. It's like that saying of the harder you grasp something the faster it slips away.
On the other hand, the more I let go and stop trying to orchestrate everything around me, trusting HP to handle my concerns, the easier life is and I find that those things my heart does desire come to me in unexpected ways.
I think having an attitude of gratitude helps this, because when I'm in a place of gratitude, I'm happy with whatever comes my way - I delight in surprises.
This was huge for me: "That is why my will cannot be the be-all and end-all. I have to accept that there are angles I cannot see and that the best outcome may be out of my control."
Also thank you, Aloha for mentioning the "Law of Reversed Effort." I am trying to embrace this way of being for now... maybe forever.
Two nights ago, I was rejoicing in the fact that this time next year, I will have two debts erased... a car payment and my dog's surgery fee from 2.5 years ago. I was elated and felt invincible!
I then went to get my teeth cleaned yesterday, and the xray's showed a "shadow" just below one of my crowns . I will need to have it removed and the problem fixed, with a new crown then to replace the removed one... there may also be an issue with the tooth (which also has a crown) adjacent to it. All in all, best case scenario, $1800... worst case, $3600.00!! Oh, and I am going to lose my Medi-Cal coverage at the end of the month to top it off.
I just feel so low and trampled on today.. like I can't catch a break... get a breather.
I am in a very negative headspace, and this topic and especially the posts in response, remind me that I need to focus this weekend on my Gratitude List. I have stopped writing them down & have just been verbally saying "Mahalo" to my HP each day for them. But I think I need to see all the good staring back at me... so this will be my focus this weekend.
Thank you MIP family, for helping me to see that I don't need to wallow in the "Why me's?" THAT, is something that is TOTALLY within my control!
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Friday 24th of May 2019 09:39:26 AM
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks FT for your service and this timely reminder. I started my prayers this morning asking HP to HELP me today, as my A has relapsed and is denying it! I'm upset but not devastated. Only alanon is keeping my head above water. I'm so grateful for this program, the people in it, and my tools. Lyne
Thank you Freetime for today's message. You are so right, we cannot see all the possibilities and angles with our very limited vision.
IAH, I too found that trying to impose my will and focus on how I thought it should go was a vast waste of mental energy, time, etc. I still need to remind myself to go with the flow and I usually get 2 benefits: it relieves my mind at the time and later the results are better than I thought!
Aloha, trusting HP to handle my concerns......yes!
PnP....I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. It tends to happen that way.....something is paid off or there is a light at the end of the tunnel and then something else pops up to take its place! Although we need to take care of our teeth, it is the least favorite way to spend money! I hear you on how you were getting excited to get out of some debt! I guess "One Day at a Time" can be applied here and you never know what else might happen (something good!) that HP has in store to help this situation. Breath..... You have a good plan in place for now to write out your gratitude lists....there is something about writing that makes the words go through you and take hold.
Lyne, I am sure before alanon you would have been devastated. You are working such a strong program and are an inspiration to me!
Hugs to all. Cool, cloudy and not a great weekend predicted. Rain and storms for us.
