The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 5/13, talks about the difficulty the author had making decisions, and therefore the procrastination that came along with it. The author shared that they never knew what the right answer was, would therefore wait until the very last minute to decide, and never felt confident in their decision.
The author learned through alanon to turn the results over to God, and eventually felt that it could be liberating to make a decision. With a change of attitude, they also learned that they could await the results of their decision with excitement and hope instead of fear and dread.
Reminder: Today I will have faith in my ability to act. When the time seems right, I will make the best choice I can and allow myself to enjoy the results.
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I can relate to this reading because in the past I was so afraid of being wrong, humiliated, and/or embarrassed. I agonized over some of the decisions I had to make. But I am a different person now. I take all the time I need/want, and then make the best decision I can. I no longer fear the results because people that truly care about me, can adjust, discuss, or negotiate with me. Its like a different world, Lyne
Good Morning Lyne this READING REMINDS ME OF THE SLOGAN :"TAKE THE ACTION AND LET GO OF THE RESULTS". i DO THAT OFTEN AND IT IS A POWERFUL TOOL. THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your ESH and shares. The reading hits home with me today as my mother has some new health concerns that I found out about last night. A part of me wants to get in the car, and drive half way across the country to get the answers and another part of me doesn't want to impose of their privacy. I've been praying for guidance and have a plan for today! All of this is so contrary to how I used to be and who I used to be...
I am grateful to know that no matter what I face, I truly am never alone! Make it a great day MIP - sun is shining here and I am off to the golf course early this morning. I can't think of a better way to start my day than to be within the natural surroundings of the outdoors! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Lyne for your service, and thanks to all above who share their ESH on how this works for them.
I too have been struggling. Found out a couple days ago that my father has "a 100% blocked carotid artery." I guess he hasn't wanted to say anything to myself or my brother so that we wouldn't worry. He has known for about a month. He has gotten a second opinion. He is currently awaiting a 3rd test & a discussion with a surgeon. He has had a heart attack about 5 years ago, and currently struggles with diabetes.
I currently depend on my parents greatly since the split with my spouse. I am still not fully financially independent, but getting there. Since my mom doesn't have all her faculties, I really lean on my dad. The first thing I thought of when he told me, was, "My God! You could have a stroke at any time!"
While that may be true, that is really my old, reactionary way of thinking coming to the forefront, and making me feel panicked.
So the first thing I made myself think was, "How much of this situation can you control?" The answer was sadly...zero. Firstly, my father is his own man. I need to remember to allow him the dignity of that fact.
I am struggling with wanting to step in and get all my questions answered, and demand that he be seen sooner than May 15, and allowing my father to handle this like any adult would. So I have been asking my HP for guidance each day. I pray that my father goes another day without a major cardiac event or stroke, and that I can manage my anxiety over the whole thing. I remind myself each morning that my HP knows how much I depend on my father right now, and that I am not quite ready to "take my training wheels off" so to speak.... not to mention that I would just miss having my dad here period. So each day I need to physically say the words out loud, "I am giving this to you, HP... help me handle it." I am working at Letting It Go.
Going to be a stressful week... boss is on vacation, and for some reason, all the "crazy" people & difficult cases come up at this time! LOL!
Just want to thank MIP for being here for me!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I was having a discussion about this the other day with a friend who was wondering what action she should take in a family situation.
One thing I learned in this program is that no matter what decision I make, it's the right decision to be making at that time, even if the consequences do not turn out the way I'd like - if that's the case it's only because there was something I had to learn from it.
This comes back to trusting in HP, that no matter what I'm going to be taken care of.
If I still feel I require validation, it's always perfectly okay to reason things out with someone else, too. I pause when I do that and often a friend or sponsor will ask some questions that help give me new insight into my decision making.
Finally, I am reminded that I don't have to rush into decisions, too. Far too often the alcoholic in my life demanded immediate decisions from me, even if I was uncomfortable in making them. It's okay to say "let me think about it" or "i'll get back with you about that". This doesn't mean it's procrastinating - it's just allowing myself to respond instead of react.
Procrastination, however, is definitely a big character flaw with me at times, but that really is all based on fear - fear that things will not turn out the way I want them when I take such action. Again, when I feel that way it means I need to turn back to God and put my will and my life into the care of HP's hands.
Decision making used to be such an ordeal for me. I would agonize, get everyone's opinion, get confused by all the opinions and feel even more stuck. Ugh...it was awful. I find more and more these days when I don't know what to do, I know by sending it up to my HP and waiting, I will get a clearer sense of what to decide, if not a definitive answer. That darn waiting, though! Especially when it is a medical issue! However, I do believe HP has our best interests in mind and it will work out as it should....as long as I don't rush in and mess up the timing of it all.
I am sending my best to all who are concerned about health issues that have arisen for family members!
