The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for today, April 30 speaks about each of our actions and points out that most people's actions have selfish motives and that people in AA readily admit this.
. The reading suggests that we know that offering Al-Anon to those in need of the comfort found in Alanon is actually constructive" selfishness."
The reading indicates that if we change our attitude toward the word" selfish' and notes the highest form of selfishness is to give of ourselves so that we in turn may broaden our understanding and confidence..
The highest rewards come from helping others with no thought of reward I learned from Al-Anon that we cannot get unless we give. This is equally true of all phases of life-- those who are not willing to serve the group shy away from sharing themselves with those in need of very active find themselves frustrated in solving their own problems
"Quote is from Kahlil Gibran, the Prophet:'" there are those who have little and give it all these are the believers in life and the bounty of life and this coffers are never empty."
Thank you Betty for the daily and for your service! I don't see selfishness as just an issue for the alcoholic....I found myself very selfish wanting my way, solutions in my time, etc. as a concerned family member of active alcoholics. What I've come to understand and accept if I must 'have it' to be able to 'give it' away and then doing so without expectations frees me up for more learning, growing, etc.
I don't consider the choice to take care of me as selfish, but rather as healthy. If I only consider my needs, and never consider another person, group, etc. then I'm (again) off-center. The best gift I can give of another is to listen, seek to understand and service when asked. I lead the meeting I attend on Sundays, and it really makes my heart smile to welcome new members, get them signatures and help them feel comfortable in the room.
No matter length of time, progress to date, etc. each member does and can contribute to the whole! When I felt hopeless and helpless upon arrival, I was still able to empty trash, stack chairs, make coffee, etc. The more service I offer/do, the more joy and serenity come into my heart. I truly believe giving is way better than getting!
Happy Tuesday all - we're supposed to have wicked storms starting tonight through all day tomorrow! I'll be hibernating and staying home tomorrow...Enjoy your day - make it great!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I often talk about the word "selfish"... and so, I suppose it is still an issue for me... ...
Hmmm may talk about it later... in detail... if I need to...
Went to a face to face meeting last night. I have had sleep apnea and am a bit worried about travelling too far-on my own. But that worked out.
I like these readings here... over the years- have traversed these quite a few times.
Despite my age my thinking is sharper now- than it was then... numbing-or dissociation...
I am telling my grandmother how to suck eggs here- but it is about a balance... I picked up once with Joyce Meyer... who is a survivor...
-it's about getting and giving; giving and getting...
Getting past Step 12 it's about putting our heads down and getting on with it... ...if [and when!] we get something wrong- there is always step 10- not the end of the world- any more... ...
Thank you Betty and all who shared. Being selfish has always been associated with shame for me. It was shameful to be selfish. Now to focus on taking care of myself before I can be of value to others is not shameful at all. It is the healthiest thing I can do for myself and others.
My elderly mom just came home from the hospital and it has been a very stressful time. I was very tempted to cancel a girlfriend weekend this past weekend, but did not. I knew I needed it desperately and needed to recharge in order to continue with care for my mother. I made sure plans were in place to assist her and I went ahead with a wonderful weekend that nourished my soul.
Thank you Betty for your service and the great reminder. Thank you all above who shared their ESH.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I hadn't read this post when I shared in a different post about taking care of ourselves.
True enough, there is balance there. But I mentioned in the other post that when I take really good care of myself, I find myself overflowing with love, gratitude, and respect. Because I can't just hold on to those things, it then becomes a very natural course for me to share that love, gratitude, and respect with others.
I think when selfishness turns sour is when we do so at the expense of others. As IAH shared, "you do for ME on MY time-frame or else I'll punish you emotionally or physically" That's when selfishness becomes harmful. But if I change that around to say "I'm going to do this, you're welcome to join if you'd like - either way I love you regardless", then I've turned selfishness into self-care.
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