The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The exA and I are still in touch. We don't talk every day. We maybe hear from one-another once every few months if even that often.
I was on the phone the other day when the ex called. I let him go to voice mail and then after I got off the phone my phone service transcribed the voice mail... "Hey Kelly, it's R sorry to bother you I'm just trying to live clean ______ know how to do it so if you give me a call back I'd appreciate it. thanks bye"
My jaw dropped when I read those two words "live clean". I was happy for him and thought it sounded like he was wanting to make an amends. Mind you, I long ago came to a point where I know I'll be just fine whether I ever get an amends from him or not. It's not important. As we all know, when we make amends, it's really more for OUR benefit. I already took care of my amends with him, so I'm happy and content there. I think more than anything what I was feeling was just happiness for him. "live clean"
Well, I played the actual voicemail back and here's what he really said... "I'm trying to clean my mom's apple laptop. I thought you know how to do it..." Really really crappy transcription by my phone service there. haha!
I just busted out LAUGHING. I was also so glad I listened to that voicemail before getting back in touch with him.
The funny thing is he's played this game with me before in the past, too - I still to this day don't know why he always tries to put me in the position of tech support - especially because every time he's ever done it I always tell him to talk with a professional (and when we were married he'd get angry with me over it, too). (Oh, that's right - he keeps doing it because alcoholism. 'nuff said!)
So, I opted not to call him. I just sent him a text. "Hey! Sorry I missed your call. I recommend going to apple.com/support for your mom's computer. Have a great weekend!"
Aloha I fully understand that as I learned how to check over communications with the alcoholic/addict myself. If there was one area that was scary it was trying to get it right so I could keep the heat down.
Aloha - great story....thanks for the laughs! My elder parents call me for tech support and I do what I can. I have an assortment of friends who also call me for tech support - mind you, I am NOT a technical support person nor have I ever been - I managed a tech support call center early on in my career - two different birds!
My standard line now when I get calls is, "Google is your friend, too!" I try not to do for others what they can do for themselves! I too am super glad you listened to the actual message before the call and so, so happy to hear that you laughed at you!! Humor is a great tool in my toolbox!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good thing you actually listened to the message! LOL!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
