The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in C2C is about making decisions that affect others as a group. The author shares that many of us have felt anxious when we need to make decisions that will affect family members or other people as a group. Al-Anon's first tradition (Our common welfare should come first. Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity) has helped the author to deal with group decisions. If a group's decision seems to benefit the majority of group members, the author finds it easier to go along with the decision. This doesn't mean suppressing or ignoring one's own needs and feelings, it is important to express them, and also to respect the needs and feelings of others. And while choices might not bring immediate happiness to the author or others, everyone will benefit when decisions that we make benefit the majority of the group.
Today's Reminder: Do I try to force my will on others in group situations, or am I learning to respect their rights as well as my own? I can feel secure in my opinions if I keep the group's best interest at heart.
Today's Quote: "Unity presents not only the necessary climate for the growth of Al-Anon as a while but also the atmosphere in which each member within the group may acquire peace of mind." The Twelve Steps and Traditions
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What a great time for today's topic! I'm making a lot of decisions with my move and my job right now. The greatest number regarding my household are the four-leggeds - when I make their situation better for them, my stress decreases, and so I tend to focus on settling them into their new spaces first. One thing I am noticing at work is that the greatest number is not always a majority. In some circumstances, there are choices between bad and worse decisions. In such cases, I focus on what would benefit the greatest number, and understand that this is not necessarily the majority. Sometimes a decision that benefits the greatest number benefits 5 people instead of 3. Although this isn't the majority, 5 is still a greater number than 3, and if a decision that benefits the majority is not possible, I can at least look at what decision would benefit the greatest number.
I've got a presentation at work today, and am looking forward to having a bed delivered in the next few days. (My bedroom set, including mattress, does not fit up the stairway into my new bedroom, so I had to order a new mattress and frame.) I'm also looking forward to replacing the hot water heater soon. It worked during the home inspection, but now it does not. All in all, living in the new house has been a bit like camping. No bed, no stove, no hot water, lol! At least I found the water cooker, so I can have hot water! And a friend of mine from the program found a free fridge for me, so I don't have to buy ice for the cooler.
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Skorpi for your service.
This reminds me that the tools and principles can be applied in all areas of my life!
Good luck with your move, and I hope many blessings come to you and your family (furbabies too!) in your new digs!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Wednesday MIP! Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you and PnP for your shares and ESH. I really like the quote and reminder as it suggests (to me) that Al-Anon and others existed way before me, and will continue to do so way beyond me. I am one small part of this great big thing called life, so what I think doesn't really amount to much in the grand scope.
Before recovery, I was 'that person' - had to be right, had to be heard, had to get the last word, knew it all and certainly for everyone beyond me as well as for me. Arriving at recovery and embracing this program has shown me that if I want true serenity, peace and joy in my life, I must embrace the 'rightness' in everyone I encounter!
I love what you suggested PnP - that our tools can and should be used well beyond what brought us here and recovery. Embracing Al-Anon as a gentle, personal 'we' program saved my sanity and saved my life in so many ways. I am grateful that I know today that my A(s) do what they do because they have a disease and not because it's a choice. I am grateful today that my picker has improved, and I nurture and cherish my healthy friendships and loved ones. I am beyond words grateful that I know I am the only person responsible for my emotions, thoughts, actions, deeds. Nobody's words or behavior can 'make me' anything - I stand separate from all others, and in unity with many!!
Skorpi - you sound great in spite of the new home challenges! Keep doing what you're doing - looks great on you my friend!! (((Hugs))) to all - we've got some nasty weather headed this way - a shut down the computer night around here for me....enjoy your evening all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hey Skorpi. Thank you for your lovely share. I like what PNP said about recovery working in all areas of our lives. Even the most basic little things. Like yesterday I was washing the dogs, bath day, and yes in a few days I will need to keep their toenails up and I couldve pushed me and done them yesterday but I had done so much other stuff, I remembered the slogan easy does it, I can do their nails over the weekend when the weather is sunny and I can see better. So yeah I am learning to apply the program in every area of my life
Good luck with your new flat and I hope everything works out great. For you and the critters
Scorpi-Thanks so much for your service. The reading and your share (all the shares) remind me to put first things first. The group I have the most trouble with is my family. Some people are not speaking to others. Im the only one speaking and seeing everyone. I am often in the middle with my A and my son and his family. At times its hard to figure out when to put myself first and who and what does the greatest good. But what I have learned is that I need to be flexible and in time I can figure out what to do. Not everyone is always happy with my decisions but that is no longer a priority for me. Thank you alanon! Lyne
