I am back into the tribal fold which is mostly women. It's been a funny blessing to observe the dynamics at play and I consider myself fortunate to have this living experience. Three women gathered accidentally with one only in common; two of whom are diametrically opposed on a tribal matter. It was interesting to observe the inventorying each undertakes in assessing others. One is observant and intuitive and analyses people well; the other reads only deeply enough to know how the other is disposed and if it doesn't align with her goals, the person gets no closer. The third doesn't inventory at all. I was thinking about this because I can relate to all three of them. It was Pinkchip years ago who first pointed out the possibility of taking ones own inventory and another's only to the extent that it is neccesary to determine one's own safety. It stuck around in my consciousness as I'm usually highly analytical and while that's a valuable work skill, personally it is exhausting. I believe it to be part of the family disease, the inventory taking of all. At the flip end of the scale, I pretend not to care and throw all caution to the wind. I think that was me before recovery. I'd have a warning feeling inside and close my eyes and leave the door unlocked. Never ended up well. Today I feel I'm a lot healthier in that I no longer feel like it is my urgent priority to assess everything beyond how it aligns to the life I am working to create. It still helps though to reflect on how my character is evolving and whether that evolution is a conscious direction or reactionary. There are things that are deeply important to me today which used to be abstract concepts, like ethics. In reverse, things that used to be important to me like appearances seem foolish. If this is growing up, I rather think I like it. I do miss shopping but other than that, I'm where I need to be, which is in broad daylight. MIP will always be my touchstone.