The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been getting to a face to face meeting... two weeks running, and plan to chair next week...
This group here is my home group- however unless I am a visitor to another town- I will mostly do 5 or 6 meetings in a stretch.
Because it does take time to trust- either way- I just like to do this.Reason for getting there was quite obvious for me. Maybe I should have quit my summer job late last year- after all I am 68 years old. However I had to do a run to Texas late last year when our kid brother passed. This ended up costing a fair bit- but it was worth it. The last four months I have been more or less paying that off.
In my country we all get a modest pension- and basic health needs are also met. So there is no actual need to me to work until I drop. My nation has been in the news a fair bit lately- and it is a place I am immensely proud of.
I am deeply proud of Alanon too- and there is a common denominator here- empathy. Serenity and empathy, for me, walk hand in hand. I see so much of it around here... sometimes through the face of struggles- but it always shines through.
Working on my summer job- up on the mountain- I would come home dog tired. And even If I could drive to the nearest meeting- I would fall asleep there in about 10 mins. ...
Not so now. We still have a part time business to keep things ticking over- and I am enjoying this.
Hi David Thanks for the update. I stopped using that slogan because I do believe that i looked at all areas of my life and blew most off thinking " that is unimportant " alanon taught me to focus on myself and validate all my efforts. glad you are taking care of yourself
Thanks for the topic David...Prayers continue for healing for your nation. How important is it for me comes into play when I am unintentionally giving away my serenity to another person, place, situation, event. A perfect example - I cleaned the kitchen Saturday night really good! I then headed off to bed....upon awakening Sunday morning, I headed to the kitchen to make coffee. The sink was full of dishes, the counters were a bit sticky and there was some foreign food hanging out just waiting for me.
In an instant, I was a bit frustrated and started to get angry. This slogan flew into my mind, and truly, in the grand scheme of life, a messy kitchen is not a huge deal. I proceeded to make coffee, and while it was brewing, cleaned up the mess. Because of recovery, I also didn't bother bringing it up for discussion, because I know from life experience that I am a neat freak and others are not. The only person bothered by the mess in the kitchen is me - otherwise it would have been cleaned up when made.
If I am not spiritually fit, my mind can and will make mountains out of molehills. I can also quickly make things about me that are not, take things personally that are not, etc. For me, with this slogan and a few others, I mentally add to me on the end and find that almost nothing is as important to me as my serenity, joy and peace of mind.
Great topic - thanks for the shares!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for checking in, David! Your country sounds like a blissful place to grow old in - not to mention all the natural beauty!
Sometimes we do things (like work hard) because that is all we know how to do...no shortcuts, no being "lazy." Many people with these traits work way beyond their retirement years. It certainly would give additional purpose. But I agree with you... if there is no need to work yourself to the bone each day, now is the time to learn how to back off... even if it is a small amount. Another part of self-care IMHO.
Namaste
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I came back to this thread- because the slogan above appeared in my daily reading of Hope For Today.
Okay- let's be honest- it was actually the first daily reading for months and months!
But- hey! I am taking in readings- daily from all tree Alanon readers- in this group- and sharing on some of them!
The reading talks about compassion. I had heaps of this- heaps of patience and hard work. But also lots and lots of anger, fear, sadness and grief.
These needs were not being met- in the alcoholic situation. And I was a seething caldron of worry. ...
Hmmm... yes I did have to learn to apply compassion- to myself- too.
Over time I chose to call this empathy. I also choose to be around people like myself- who chose compassion, developed empathy- and have love, care and concern to go around. Joy too sometimes. Hope...
...we know where we all have bin... ...the time we have spent in the rooms, including here, has not been wasted.
After all this time- I am not running to my pity party... at least not- right now...
right now, and one day at a time, I am okay... and I have found the company of okay people... thanks so much- from the bottom of my heart. ...
Mahalo David for this share. This became a very very important question for me in my recovery as it helped me to qualify and quantify my participation in recovery. How often this question helped me to determine better responses to the alcoholic/addict and others in my life. Thanks again. (((hugs)))
How important is it -- for me, can be a very valuable and a very dangerous question and tool. It can breed complacency, denial, and perpetuate many things that are unhealthy -- behavior, thinking, treatment, etc. -- or it can save my life. I've often said there can be a vague and ever-moving line between "how important is it" and the answer being "it's not important at all" -- and accepting unacceptable behavior.
So, in that mode...what do I do? I call my sponsor. I get objectivity. I get accountability. That's what works for me.
Some good posts here, thanks for the original post David.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
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