The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been mostly reading here recently and trying to gain clarity and wisdom concerning a job opportunity. I am now at the end of a very long process for a position in rehab. At first I felt very invested in securing this job but now I don't know how I feel. I love our program and living recovery odaat but wonder how working in such an environment will impact my beliefs concerning 12 step programs and the behaviors of coworkers in such a recovery based environment. I am realizing that I have raised the bar a bit higher concerning keeping my program in front of me as well as my expectations of prospective coworkers interactions with me. Don't get me wrong I'm not expecting to walk through the halls greeting people with slogans or telling a supervisor who criticizes me to Let go and Let God. lol I just have never worked in such an environment and am trying to come down off the pink fluffy cloud of expecting these people will interact in a healthier manner, be honest, fair, not gossip about other coworkers, respect confidentiality etc. more than those in former workplaces.
What I have decided is that this is a business like any business and their objective is to make money. Just as no person works a perfect program their way of operating may also be imperfect and not keeping with 12 step principles and traditions. I want to work again and I want to add value and believe I have value to give, talents and skills to bring. My conflict is that as a program person my goal is to "practice these principles in all my affairs." My concern is the overlap of business based partially on 12 step practicing/philosophy and profit. If you have any insights, wisdom, experience with this I would love to hear it.
This may be a good analogy to make clear my conflicted emotions. When I was divorcing my attorney had told me that I was going to need to take my emotions out of it, that it was all business now. After such a long marriage that advice seemed almost inconceivable. He insisted it was necessary. So now with this job I am feeling that this may be the necessary way to go as well. Part of me worries about the reviews I found yesterday about this workplace. The reviews are similiar to other organizations that serve clients. Due to knowledge of our steps and traditions, it feels personal. Yet maybe it isn't for this employer. Maybe my 12 step recovery is just regarded as another work skill for this environment. They tend to hire those in a program.
Maybe I'm too soft for this environment, naively idealist. I applied for this job perhaps with a belief recovery would be individualized and take precedence over reputation and financial gain. I was so swept up by feeling the presence of my hp and serenity when I entered the place for an interview. Logic should tell me that maybe the place is structurally designed with that in mind. (not to be cynical here) But I've begun projecting that I might work in a place that follows the Traditions and go home each day without the typical conflicts that exist in other workplaces. I have been down this road before concerning work that impacts lives. In the past, my work was much more direct and choices greatly impacted others. It was my first experience in such a role and environment and I wanted to leave immediately because I was afraid to make those decisions. I had the good fortune to connect with someone at this site who related their own work experience and offered support and wisdom. They told me that my questioning and discomfort was an indication of a conscience and desire to make ethical decisions. They assured me the fear would pass. I'm grateful hp brought this person to me at that time because had hp not, I would have just run. Long story short, outcomes were good when I trusted my hp, my gut more than rigidly following the "rules," because when it comes to people, needs vary.
Of course the easy answer here is to go to the last interview, do my best and hp will place me where I am mean't to be. I am just wondering how one keeps the focus on their own recovery only in such an environment. Am I naive here? Can I expect that our programs are simply and additional vehicle for profit enhancement in these environments? What is your experience? I just want to be able to have a better sense of the pros and cons of working in such an environment. Thanks for letting me share with you. ((hugs)) TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
(((TT))) - I have no experience in the field but 'hear' your uncertainty....What I can share is that I was blessed to retire early and have had the privilege of volunteering for a variety of organizations over the last 15+ years. I really, really had this idea that the politics, back-stabbing, drama, etc. would be less because pay/power was not involved.
I was wrong. From Boy Scouts to feeding homeless, there is some level of dysfunction, politics, etc. So, since I do what I can to avoid drama/chaos, I go where I am most needed and change it up when/if it's 'too much'. One part of this program that has helped me in so many areas of life well beyond those with the disease of alcoholism is Managing My Expectations. I really work to accept that I am imperfect, others are imperfect and life is far from perfect. I do not have (nor expect) the perfect house, marriage, kids, family, etc. and I really am grateful for all I do have.
I am a firm believer in One Day at a Time, and When in Doubt, Don't. I do what I can each day to do the next right thing, and set aside fear when it wants to stop me in my tracks. I really have no answers but do know that expectations can cause me more pain and fear if I am not watchful of them.
You work a good program and you would be an asset at any company!! I view all interviews as 'courting'. No matter how well we ask questions or 'see' the operation, we're being shown the 'good'. Like a relationship, we don't know what we don't know until it's shown and that takes time! Hang in there, trust your program and know I'm sending positive energy your way!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I agree IAH I do believe that prayers for guidance never go unanswered. I have found myselff in dificultsituations unsure of the next right action and let go and trusted HP and ll woked out Good luck
Thank you Iamhere. I agree, people are people and the same dynamics go on whether one is doing paid work or volunteering. I can appreciate that. I guess my hope would be that an employer whose business is recovery would ethically hold themselves and employees to a standard of behaviors that we learn through working a program. Of course we aren't perfect people nor should we want to be. That's an unhealthy behavior. Interestingly, however most workplaces have an expectation of perfection or near perfection in job performance. I appreciate your support and es&h. I am still curious and interested in hearing from others who have had this experience. It would be great to hear if workplaces whose business is recovery lead by example when working with one another . Do they "walk the walk" themself and promote sanity vs drama amongst team members and take that guidance from program principles? Thank you for your best wishes.
Thanks hotrod. One can never go wrong with praying for guidance. I've no doubt my hp is with me and will place me where I'll be of use.
((((hugs)))))) TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Things really do get better for me when I just let go of whatever expectations I have and focus on just being the best me that I can. When I unconditionally accept people where they are at and just do me their life may take a twist .. that's just not about me.
I read something interesting that isn't Alanon however is pretty much what I call Life 101.
I wonder how much of this I have applied to people in my life as well as why I am so hard on myself. While I understand logically that people aren't perfect .. I sure do put other people and myself up the pedestal of perfection. Let me tell you how that works for me .. lol .. it doesn't. First off if I'm up there it doesn't take much except my ego to help me biff it big on the way down .. and yet I will project that on to other people that whole pedestal of perfection, oh boy that's a fun one. That's really not fair of me to do that, as I wind up causing my own pain. Through my own disappointment or holy cow .. you mean that other person let me down and they aren't perfect?? How dare they not do what I think they should do. Again kind of points back to me.
Letting go and allowing things people to be themselves is a great freedom and I am grateful that my kid is the one who has been my biggest teacher in that lesson. It has transcended into other facets of my life, specifically my parenting .. why I think I am parenting perfect children is beyond me .. lol. It has helped me a great deal at work .. nope don't need to be a doormat .. things have been a whole lot more calmer when I'm not looking to over think and pick things that haven't even happened a part. My office mate is another life teacher and that is another story .. LOL. 200k meetings are not enough .. ever to teach me what I need to know .. I get a pin drop of what I need and that feels like a banquet. 200k meetings will never be enough. That's just me and how I think.
You do you .. you do your best and whatever happens .. guess what I bet you find your own teachers within whatever realm you are in, .. I have learned over the last many years how much pain (over thinking out witting what iffing) I do to myself instead of just being present and enjoying that moment. So I wish you so much good juju in your newest adventure and I hope that you can enjoy the journey and let go of the destination.
Big hugs :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thanks for sharing serenityrus. Nice to hear about your progress. As always, thanks for your support
My question has now been answered. It was voluntarily shared at my interview by one of the interviewers. The interviewer said that they are not in a program but some employees are program people and that interactions were reflective of their mission. I had asked what they liked most about where they worked. So it seems my higher power got an question answer for me. It was nice to hear that it's a culture of people being mindful of program principles when working with one another. Should things go forward, that would be positive after having recently left a hostile work environment. No workplace is or people in it are perfect including myself but it was refreshing to hear that healthy behaviors are encouraged.
Thanks again to each of you for responding and for your love and support. TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Friday 1st of March 2019 11:32:08 PM
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Tired, thank you for posting your last comment. It shows that when you practice the Pause, your HP has got your back... answered the questions in your mind regarding this job environment, and eased your fears... awesome!
I hope that you are offered the job and that you flourish!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
