The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Making decisions is the topic of today's reading. We can have trouble making decisions by having impossibly high standards, wanting a specific result, or wanting to know in advance all the possible consequences of a decision. Instead, we can ask for and look for help with our decision -- from our HP, from a gut feeling, from listening to others who have had similar situations. All we have to do is our best -- the results are in the hands of a higher power.
Reminder: With the help of a Higher Power, decision-making can be one of life's great adventures. Each cross-road brings a new challenge, and I am capable of dealing with whatever comes my way.
Quote: "When I used to make specific requests [of God], I was so busy waiting for them to be granted that I didn't realize the answers were staring me in the face." As We Understood
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Usually when I have trouble making decisions or figuring out how to solve a problem, it's because I am trying to do it all by myself and not reaching out for input or help. Not looking for clarity, just making it more complicated for myself. Making assumptions that other people could not help me or that I should not ask them.
This happened yesterday, when I had a fixed idea -- based on my very limited experience -- about how to solve a technical problem, and assumed it was going to be very difficult and risky. Others had told me there was an easy solution -- but I didn't ask them for details or listen to their suggestions until I had worked myself into a tizzy. Sure enough, the answers came -- and when I did what higher powers (more experienced people) suggested -- Success! My fears were unfounded, once I listened to suggestions of those who had been down the path before me.
I hope everyone's problems are made lighter and decisions easier today.
-- Edited by Freetime on Friday 22nd of February 2019 12:05:13 AM
Good morning Freetime - thank you for your service and the daily. I was frozen with decisions before recovery for the reasons suggested in the reading. Today, I can pause, pray and then proceed leaving the results and outcome to my HP. I do accept today that I am LTP (Less Than Perfect) and so are all others, which makes it easier to focus on what's really important - my serenity and my needs.
I still can get caught up in the what ifs and anticipating the outcomes. It's part of my human condition. I am better today than before and that's good enough for me.
Happy Friday MIP - Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Freetime and IAH I too had difficulty with decisions as i had an outcome in my mind and tried to manipulate each situation so i could achieve my desired outcome. Entering program and working the 3rd Step helped me to trust HP with the outcome of my life. Many times i received more than i expected and at times my life took a painful unexpected turn which helped we to learn how o accept life on life's terms.
Thanls for your service
thank you Freetime and I relate to what Betty says about difficulty making decisions because I, too, had an outcome in mind and I even went to mentipulation to get what I wanted...and of course many times it did not work out as I wanted...Dunno if there is any HP, but I do have something within me that is higher awareness then I am and so I pause...breathe...research...ask others and follow my instincts....IF I feel peace about my decision, then I know it is good...IF I feel angst about a decision, I back off...step back....re-assess and wait...then follow my instincts....
Thank you Freetime, for your service, and all that shared before me. I identified with the second sentence in the reading. Looking back, I really didn't think I had impossibly high standards... I was just striving for perfection. To be my very best... but what I lost sight of, is that I am human. No human was made perfect... it is the way nature intended. Nature herself, is perfectly imperfect.
I am learning to keep reaching and striving for my Best Self... all the while having some compassion and understanding that it's about progress, not perfection!
Ah, it's finally Friday!! It seems like it's been the longest of weeks! I am excited for the weekend! I hope that you all have an enjoyable one!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I work up on a mountain top. It is nice up there...
I have some work issues. My boss is away on a horse trek all next week- and I need to address these issues when he gets back.
Yesterday I was heading down through some old gold workings. And i realised that I had double booked myself for next weekend- the 2nd and third. In two separate towns. One was an alanon assembly. And the other was to pick up a ram to keep my two sheep company.
The second option also involves a Saturday evening out with a history friend.
I am not a GR no more and don't need to be at the assembly. It makes more sense for me just to go to a meeting. I have one 30 mins away to the south. And another 50 mins to the west.
I have other chores related to the ram which cannot wait. Like fixing up a fence.
Autumn [Fall] is starting to hit us here. I seem to be so busy.
I have to de-clutter my plans and expectations... ...
Thanks FT for your service. Decisions used to be agonizing for me, as I was so afraid of making the wrong one, and/or having others mad at me, or even rejecting me. Both Wed. and today I had to make an important decision. Program is so in my head my process begins rather quickly after the stress begins. I breathe and give myself time to think. I allow myself to consider options. I don't have to rush because of others. And I can reason things out and come to a decision. This is a much better system! Lyne
Thank you Freetime and all MIP members above me. Oh boy....decision making for me used to look like a big complicated mess! I would overthink, plan for every outcome, make copious lists of pros and cons, ask everyone I knew for their opinion and had myself twisted in knots. Insanity at its finest!
When I remember to let go and rely on my HP's guidance....that nudge....that knowing....that peaceful place....it almost becomes fun to anticipate how much better things will turn out. I KNOW that outcomes left to my HP are usually surprising and sooooo much better than what I could have decided.
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