The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in C2C is about one of the early lessons many of us learn in AlAnon - we do not need to tolerate unacceptable behavior.
The author shares that they learned early in the program that they need not tolerate violence or abuse, and that they had choices they had not recognized before. The author set some limits, not to control others, but to offer themself guidelines so that they would know what was and was not acceptable to them.
The author continues with an observation that a few years later, they were congratulating themself because they no longer had such problems when they realized that they were still accepting unacceptable behavior - "from myself" The author shares that they were continually berating themself and blaming themself when things went wrong. They didn't give themself credit for efforts. The author realized that until they started to treat themself as a valued friend, they would be standing in the way of their own recovery.
Today's reminder: I have been affected by a disease of attitudes. When I treat myself with love and approval, I know that I am recovering.
Today's Quote: "Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man thinks, that he becomes." The Upanishads
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Even more snow today, and I'm off to a meeting! I hope you make today a great day.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Great reminder Thanks Skorpi I never focused on my inner voice until program suggested that I focus on myself -- then and only then did i discover the nasty things I told myself each and every time I tried and failed or saw someone accomplish what I could not Today when i am tempted to beat myself up I remind myself of my assets and list items I am grateful for. and this This has helped me
Thanks for your service .
Most likely I have read this reading through 8 or 10 times.... In my middle years i was still in a funk. Some might call it numbing, or dissociation. I have learned that self-blaming leads to shame. But okay- the shame was always there... layers and layers of it, maybe.
Now I can see the depth of this reading... and it's simplicity.
I don't need to rabbit on endlessly any more. That was a symptom of my lost state. I can listen. I can relate... and sometimes even communicate! ...
Thank you , Skorpi for the daily! Please stay safe traveling in the snow!
It wasn't until I had been working this program for a little while did I see that I always had an undercurrent of negativity about me. I work on shutting out that negative, self-loathing voice each day. It is a process... sometimes I am really good at it, other times, not so much and I remind myself to be gentle with myself!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Skorpi for sharing and all for commenting on this reading. It sent me to pick up the book and read the page for myself. Such a brilliant reminder from our program. I notice it suggests that we treat ourselves like a valued friend. I like the suggestion to "be your own best friend."
Happy Hump Day MIP. Thank you Skorpi for the daily and your service. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. As a perpetual perfectionist before recovery, no matter how hard I tried, I felt deep down like a failure. I had high expectations of self as well as all others.
As I began to absorb recovery and work it, acceptance of 'what is' brought me to a place of realizing that we were designed to be imperfect people. I struggled to treat myself with love and tolerance until I was able to find compassion and empathy for others. Kind of back to the 'service work' fulfills me - same here. It was not easy for me to be kind to me and be gentle with me as I was raised to 'be doing' and to always compete and compare.
What's important to me today is vastly different than before. I find sanity, serenity and joy mostly in things that cost nothing - nature, sunshine, smiling faces, laughter of little people. I do better today being kind and accepting to me - progress is always success to me!
We had snow again over night and I am hibernating again. I did go to the store and stock up so all is well. I really am grateful I can hibernate and don't have to go out and about. We've had more than 9 snow days for schools in our district and ours isn't the worst....kids are going to be heading to class in the summer at this rate!
Happy day to one and all - make it great!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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