The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reminds us that each AlAnon member, like each snowflake, is different and unique. Although we share a common problem that brings us together, each of us is an individual with individual gifts, challenges, and situations.
The author shares that comparing themselves to others was a defect of character throughout their life and the beginning of their AlAnon program. The author focused on how other people seemed more popular, had the "right" thing to say in sharing, and were grasping the program more quickly. Today, through continued work in the program, the author realizes that they are unique, they have special qualities, ad their growth in AlAnon cannot be compared to anyone else's. The author has learned to stop judging their insides by other's outsides. Today, the author recognizes the important contributions they make to AlAnon groups by participating and being themselves.
Today's Reminder: A Sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help me see that I have value just as I am.
Today's Quote: "It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is." Desiderius Erasmus
----------------------------------
I love today's theme of staying focused on ourselves, and remembering that what we feel inside shouldn't be compared to how others look on the outside. I've been lucky enough to walk through life confident that I won't fit in, sure of who I am at my core, and not needing to try to change to be something I am not. But it took working the Al-Anon program for me to also love myself as I was - to not wish that I could be different, to stop comparing my inner feelings and fears with the outward appearance of others. Today, I am grateful to be myself, and to be willing to show others my authentic self as well. I am not hiding behind a barrier anymore, and that is a very freeing experience.
I got a good workout yesterday shoveling a bunch of snow. I hope you are safe and warm wherever you are, and that you make today a great day!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks for this great reminder Skorpi. Its too easy to get down on myself when serenity doesnt come automatically or when when I get caught in that trap of unrealistic ideals of who I should be. Sometimes when things arent going smoothly, its okay for me to acknowledge I feel the discomfort that can go with it. I think sometimes I feel like, doing well in the program is suppose to mean nothing ruffled my feathers anymore. Today I need to be okay being someone who is rufflable but using my program skills to find serenity. Have a great day. (((Hugs)))
Thanks for this great reminder Skorpi. Its too easy to get down on myself when serenity doesnt come automatically or when when I get caught in that trap of unrealistic ideals of who I should be. Sometimes when things arent going smoothly, its okay for me to acknowledge I feel the discomfort that can go with it. I think sometimes I feel like, doing well in the program is suppose to mean nothing ruffles my feathers anymore. Today I need to be okay being someone who is rufflable but using my program skills to find serenity. Have a great day. (((Hugs)))
Thank you for your service Scorpi. Learning to accept and embrace myself took a lot of work! But program has taught me how to do this along with my sponsor. She taught me the phrase: compare and despair. That sticks with me, for it is such a waste of time and energy to compare myself to anyone. The comparing I want to do now is, where was I a year ago, and what progress have I made since then? What else do I need to work on? Im doing the steps again with my sponsor and since doing them over 5 years ago, I see quite a difference! Keep the focus on me to acknowledge my growth as well as staying in reality to keep improving, Lyne
Thank you Skorpi for your service, and the great reminder that the focus should always be on ourselves!
You are a very lucky person to be able to say that you have always felt confident in who you are! I would like to say I am envious, but then I would be comparing, wouldn't I?
I think because I have been a people-pleaser my whole life, I have always judged myself on what people think or feel about me. The perfectionism in me always had me wondering, how come I couldn't be like this person? Have what they have? I must say, that was one of my defects too... comparing myself to others. Now that I am looking back, it didn't really matter what "IT" was! Life was always greener on the other side of the fence.
Today I am doing better at accepting just "What Is." I must say, I have this program to thank for that, as well as my willingness to be open-minded and understanding about my defects! I try and acknowledge what I am grateful for each day!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning MIP! Thank you Skorpi for the daily and your service. Thanks to all for your shares and ESH above me. I arrived in a perpetual state of competing and comparing - it had been taught from a young age, and was a part of me. At home, at work, social situations, other - yep - always sizing things up and feeling less than or better than.
It is in recovery that I accepted and embraced how unique we all are. It is in recovery that I learned to think differently - well beyond black/white, right/wrong. Today, I am perfectly content with my imperfections - I was designed to be who I am, exactly as I am. So, so tiring to try and be 'all that and a slice of bread'!!!
Al-Anon gave me the power of choice, which means I get to choose what I focus on and what I let go. I get to choose who I spend time with and who I prefer to keep at arm's length. I get to choose to avoid drama, chaos, insanity and focus on peace, joy and simply existing. I am truly grateful for this program, the many tools and MIP - a daily part of my recovery.
Happy Hump Day all - we get 2 decent weather days (today/tomorrow) then back to winter! Off to get some things done - make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
