The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We treasure our "Serenity Prayer" because it brings a new light to us
that can dissipate our oldtime and nearly fatal habit of fooling ourselves.
In the radiance of this prayer we see that defeat, rightly accepted,
need be no disaster. We now know that we do not have to run away,
nor ought we again try to overcome adversity by still another
bulldozing drive that can only push up obstacles before us faster than
they can be taken down.
Grapevine, March 1962
***************************************
Note that the verbs or actions are done by US...do we back off and ACCEPT (our action) OR do we move forward and CHANGE the things we can (our action again) I see the "S" prayer as one where we STOP...Breath...Pause......"is this something that I need to walk away from?? detach from??? let go of???? and IF so, I can just hunker down and take care of me"
AND the "change" part...No!! forcing and pushing and resistence only brings me more hell....however...realizing that the ONLY and ONE thing I can change is ME and what I do for me, re: taking care of me.....I can not change any other person or a place or a thing...I can only change me....the "S" prayer reminds me I can only take care of me and if I want a smoother ride??? to give life NON resistence (something I am struggling with---fighting and protecting) and to go with the flow
acceptance does NOT mean I like it..agree with it...embrace it...think it is "OK"..because it may SUCK!!! but to me, acceptance means ONLY this: Seeing the situation for what it is and whether or not I can do anything about it, or do I walk away and take care of me....acceptance is only seeing the facts as they really are and not what I had hoped for...it is facing reality...be it happy or sad, it is the reality and once I see that, I can get on to the solution and the solution may be only just cutting my losses and walking away.....
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 19th of January 2019 08:53:44 PM
I laughed at first b/c it was written a year before I was born, yet it still rings true today! Really amazing isn't it?
This portion was especially important, "... nearly fatal habit of fooling ourselves."
If I am not careful and attentive, this is where I "like" to live. I know what reality is, I just don't like to face it. I would rather put on my rose-colored spectacles and pretend all is how I would desire it to be, instead of how it really is.
I could not accept this about myself until I did my 4 Step ( probably b/c I find it juvenile thinking). What got me to really look at this behavior during my 4th Step was a conversation one day with my sponsor. We were discussing being elderly and having to live in a nursing home. My opinion was that I would rather have my mind incapacitated than my body. My reasoning... I felt that I could sit and dream/envision a world I loved and could be happy if my mind convinced me that was were I was. I thought it would be torture to have a still sharp, quick-witted mind, yet be so physically incapacitated that all I could do was sit there. When I went home and really thought about my answer, I began to see that I have done this in some form, all my life!
This past year has forced me into looking at and accepting, reality. It has been really rough, emotionally. In part, I think, due to my inclination to want to look at my world through those rose-colored spectacles. I have found that staying a member of Al-Anon and keeping up with my forum reading and meetings has helped me to keep accepting what is real in my life.
Again, thank you!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((((((((((((((((((((PnP)))))))))))))))))))))))) part of the gift of being here, a BIG part is watching folks I really like, Like YOU, growing and moving forward and I get to SEE IT!!! what a gift you are to this board...and I am sure anyone around you
I always seek out your posts, because I always walk away with a smile and a bit wiser....and you got a sense of humour....I love folks with humour...Life would be soo ugly if we could not find humour but we also need to be in reality which I see you doing....
i was the opposite..I saw the world and life as a "sentence" something I had to "serve out" and try and survive in...I saw nothing really good about being here...
Now , in recovery, I CAN see the good, the funny (well I never lost my humour, but it was the sort of humour that you would call "gallows humour" making fun of a life that was nearly unbarable....NOW, really, I CAN see the good...the hopeful...I can say "I CAN make a better life" "I CAN do /be/ better" I CAN I CAN...like the little engine who said ----I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN....well??? for me??? with program and support from you all.....I THINK I CAN.......and so can you.......BIG polar bear sized hugs to you, my GF and sister in recovery...........much love too!!!!!!!
I added a sign to my "Me Wall" in my room... I saw it yesterday at a thrift store and just had to have it... it also reminds me of you!
It reads: She Believed she could AND SHE DID
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((((((((((((((((((((PnP))))))))))))))))))))))))) LOVE it!! glad you treated you to something nice.................Our GW is having a 1/2 of sale...gonna see what table cloths I can find, browse the books, check out the jeans/sweaters, just have some FUN....its gonna be on 26 Jan...Got 2 favorite GW's I like to go to......
Oooh! Half off! Hope you find some really good stuff!
Wishing you Peace today, Rose!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
