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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Trying to live a "Normal"life
Post Info TOPIC: Trying to live a "Normal"life
Cathy123


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Trying to live a "Normal"life
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I have been living with an alcholic for over 10 years. When My daughter was younger she had alot of issues which I needed to attend to so I really didn't care what my alcholic did. Now my daughter is older and her life is doing great. I find that now I have time to breather. So I took a look at my life. WHAT A MESS. My alcholic is literally taking over everything. I do not have friends come to my house. I go to work everyday, come home and watch TV, wake up go to work and the cycle repeats. On occassion, my alcholic goes away to our second home and then I find that I do have friends over, I accomplish things at home and the TV doesn;t even go on.
I am getting older and find that I do not want to live for those couple of days a week. I have tried to get my alcholic to leave. But we hold title to both houses together ( we are not married) I offered to buy out his share of the first house, or swapping it with my share of the second house, But he firmly replies NO. He owns his own business so he rarely goes to work anymore. He will walk around the house in a drunken fog. He will cook ( and make a huge mess) eat a little and go back upstairs. I have completely moved out of our room and into a guest bedroom. When he is drunk you canot talk to him. He is occassionaly sober for a short while in the AM, but I have to go to work. I literally feel like I am waiting for him to drop dead. Any advice.?

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mebjk


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RE: Trying to live a "Normal"life
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Hi, Cathy,
We are all glad you have found your way here to the Miracles in Process Board. We don't offer advice, we just offer our own experience, strength, and hope here. When you share, you help each of us in our own recovery. We all have experience with living and/or loving an alcoholic. We know that the disease of alcoholism affects everyone, and that means us.
Through Alanon, I have learned to take care of myself first. I learned that by going to meetings, finding a sponsor - someone in a meeting who I saw something in that I would like for myself - and working the 12 Steps of AA and Alanon. My life has changed so much since I found Alanon. As they say in the meetings: Keep coming back, it works, if you work it!
It does take work, but it really has changed my life and how I relate to everyone in my life. I would not be living the joyful, peaceful life I have today without the strength of the Program. And I still go to face to face meetings, have a sponsor who is helping me work the steps again, and sponsor someone else who is working the steps.
Some of us here still live with an active alcoholic, some do not.
Blessings to you and thanks for finding your way here. That is a great gift to yourself.
mebjk

-- Edited by mebjk at 11:47, 2006-04-07

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mebjk
rtexas


~*Service Worker*~

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RE: Trying to live a "Normal"life
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Welcome to MIP


Al-Anon is the perfect place for anyone who is affected or has been affected by someone's drinking.  You are in the right place.


The best thing to do is look up local meetings in your area, grab some literature and understand that you are not alone.


Everyone here shares similar experience with you, and this is a safe place to look for inspiration and hope.  This program works if you devote some effort into it. 


I am relatively new as well, and it has already made a huge difference in my emotional health.  There is a chat room here where they have regular online 'meetings', those can be helpful to.


Take care of you,


-r


 


 



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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
nycbt


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 810
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Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.


 


World Service Organization Website –


WWW.al-anon.alateen.org


Phone number is 1-888-425-2666


Alanon meetings 800-351-9996


Alanon literature Worldwide 888-425-2666


Alanon meeting info. 800-433-7266 AA info.


Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html 


 


Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.



  • Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

  • post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

·        Set support system.  people do not judge.You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.



  • Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.


 

Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.

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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
Rita G


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1491
Date:
Trying to live a Normal life
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Someone once told me that the only thing "Normal" is a cycle on the washing machine. 


My heart breaks to hear about another person living with the active disease of alcoholism/addiction. . . that is a very tough life but like many have said there is help for you in this program. 


Give it a try when your ready - reach out to a person in the program, go to a meeting, make a few "recovery" phone calls.  I have been able to find peace and contentment even in the greatest storms of life.  One Day at A Time; sometimes one minute at a time.


Glad to know you are seeking help . .


Rita


 


 


 



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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK - teamwork.gif
aunitedway


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 580
Date:
RE: Trying to live a "Normal"life
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HI, Cathy!  Welcome to the Alanon  and to the Alanon Message Board.  


You are not alone    many of us are or have been in the same situation as you    really   I am so glad you found this website!   ((BigHug))  if at all possible    try the face to face (f2f) meetings ... it is a a supportive, loving and caring group of people that care about each other and most of all  care about "You"    The Alanon 12 step program is about You. Tools for You. Tools that are already there within You.  It guides you/ us    brings out through learning  teaching and applying these tools to yourself/ ourselves   one day at a time  what is best for you so that you can begin Taking Care of You. And ways to understanding of loving others.   At a face to face meeting  you can/will witness first hand what Alanon has to offer.  You should also receive a new member package.  Good Stuff      information / brochure literature in it  for you to read over.  I think you will be happy that you did    


If I can help you with literature...   or to locate the meeting places in your area      please do not hesitate to click on my nickname and send me a private message. (this way the message   will not go to the message board )       ((((Welcome))))  


 


Hope to see you in Chat



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