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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The holidays
Post Info TOPIC: The holidays
Maresie


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The holidays
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For me for most of my life the holidays were this huge problem every year.  I really bought into a lot of myths about Christmas and indeed all the holidays.  I felt even more sensitive around the holidays. One year I went with the now ex A to this lovely seaside resort   I let his behavior spoil it all for me. I didn't have the tools then I do now to deal with difficult people.   My holiday this year was almost ruined by one of my neighbors who acted out   Thankfully I was able to get really close to my program and be willing to follow directions.  The neighbor us still here but today he is not affecting my life in the same catastrophic way.  

I am especially grateful to al anon for having a calm.a d peaceful holiday. I didn't just survive the holiday I had a renewing experience and feel rested  That was never my experience before.  I simply sank down into tremendous pain and misery.  I also lived completely consumed with fear and anxiety   January for me was all about coming through what was never an easy time.  

I can't say I ever believe Christmas will be easy.for me but it isn't the apocalypse that it once was. 

 

Maresie 

 



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Maresie
DavidG


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 Gr8 share, Maresie... smile ...

 I heard this Alanon sayong: ~Participation is the key to harmony.~

Initially I thought that I had to keep peace and quiet all around me.

But over time I learned that things improved when I developed inner peace from within.

I began 'to catch' this from other members around me who had found acceptance.

And, yes too; this was was what serenity was all about.

We had folks over, from the USA, for Christmas and New Year. Our Sil was recently out of treatment.

So this presented a challenge- looking forwards- but at the time worked smoothly...

...I did not really need to discuss it- and create a 'plan of action'. It came naturally- at long last. smile

Thanks.



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hotrod


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Great share Maresie I too have marveled at how the feelings surrounding the  Holiday Season have grown peaceful in the past years. I do attribute it to my alanon tools and my learning how to take care of myself while supporting others.  I no longer feel I must purchase the best gift and be everywhere at once.
Thank you alanon .  I agree acceptance is the key to my recovery 

Happy New year my dear friend



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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PosiesandPuppies


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It was good to read that the holidays were much more peaceful for you, Maresie! Since this holiday season was tougher than last year (hard to imagine), I was shocked to find that I, just like you, had a "renewing" experience! I welcomed it with open arms, as I think you did yours!

Peace & Happy 2019!

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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Iamhere


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Maresie - great topic and lovely share! I always get inspired when a fellow member shares their ESH and feels the progress made in recovery - great on you! I detested holidays before recovery. Of course, I struggled with seeing others happy and joyous and wondering why I was not 'given' the same gifts in life.

Recovery has shown me and taught me that I can be as joyous and happy as I choose to be. I now know that we all have struggles, and comparing my insides to what others show me on the outside is not good use of my time/brain. I am also one who can share that the holidays have improved for me and the biggest change I've made is to not participate in the commercial aspect, stay present in the moment and focus on all that I am grateful for.

This program works when we work it - grateful for MIP and the family here.

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
mamalioness


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Hey Maresie...Good on you!!! me too...I find that when I breathe, and wait or pause, I can get my peace within and this year , tho I was alone, making it easier to have peace, I WAS at Peace....it was just another day....Christmas and New Years...both were peaceful because I don't let others impact and run my day like the old days...my , i guess, now former BMF across the street wants nothing to do w/his neighbors and we ALWAYS hung out at holidays...So hes gone from me, I just made my own days...I did not let his rejection govern what kinda day I was goinna have

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The holidays