The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's Courage to change reading, the author reflects on one of the most useful lessons they've learned in Al-Anon: If I don't want to be a doormat, I have to get up off the floor.
The author shares that they have spent plenty of time accepting unacceptable behavior that was directed at them. Instead of setting boundaries and removing themselves from unacceptable situations, they often accepted the behavior, and even returned for more. The author felt like a victim, but realizes that they were in many ways a volunteer.
The author shares that because of the Al-Anon program, they now know that they are not helpless. They have choices. While the author cannot control what other people do or say, they do have choices and they are responsible for their own choices. Now, when the author starts to feel like a victim, they take that as a warning sign that they may be participating (with thoughts or actions) in something that is not in their best interest.
Today's reminder: It can be very empowering to take responsibility for my own choices. I Will act in my own best interest today.
Today's Quote: "I would do well to accept the challenge to look to my own recovery before I spent any more of my precious life wishing the alcoholic would change..." Living with Sobriety
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Today, I am thankful to my AlAnon program for helping me to notice that I DO have choices, and that I can make decisions that are good for me, regardless of how others act and what others do. With practice, I've gotten better at setting boundaries and loving detachment. And, this year, I've noticed that these skills work well with family members as well
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi Great reminder following the Holiday. Being grateful for the alanon tools that empower me to still enjoy life regardless of the behavior of another is a true gift and it can be done
Good morning MIP - thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares and ESH. I wore my victim hat loud and proud before recovery, just about every place I went. I unintentionally drove others away from me as I was so vocal about all the 'chaos' and 'unacceptable behavior' going on around me. I truly never paused my blame/shame of others game long enough to consider that I had choices until Al-Anon recovery! This gift was a game changer.
I am grateful today to have choices and more sanity to pick choices that are best for me and who I strive to be. There are many and today, I can put distance between me and the chaos by simply pausing, praying and then proceeding. I am grateful!
I love, love, love the quote for today - it speaks volumes to me! Make it a great day all - happy to have the holidays behind me!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Skorpi for your service. Thanks to those above who share their wisdom.
There is something completely liberating about learning (and embracing) that I had the choice to "drop the rope" as they say! I like that I have choices!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
