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Addiction claimed another one last night. My oldest sister had a beautiful grandson, my great nephew, he has now lost due to drug addiction
He was a heroin addict, I knew this was coming, I knew he was getting worse because my sis and I would talk on the phone about it and his dad my nephew, even had a heart issue over the stress of this boy and his drugs. The disease doesnt just killed the user, it impacts the entire family. So I am minus a family member now because of this dreaded and curse of a disease of alcoholism and or drug addiction
Ive got to be a comfort to my sister, he was her oldest grandson and what a good looking kid he was until the drugs began to ravage his body. He and I were on Facebook together for a while and I was telling him about the program and how it helped me and everything and sort of was trying to, by attraction, get him interested in a program. But no sale
Rest in peace Bobby. You are now free and whole and at peace.
What a terrible loss. He could have done so many things, was so good looking, and funny. He was kind and he wasnt even 30 years old. My heart is heavy today. Ive got to call my sister later on tonight and be there for her
thank you (((Betty))) ((((David))))) he served his country...was a good navy man!!! got out and got into drugs...Dunno what/how this could happen to a vibrant, funny, smart, handsome young man....Soooo sad...I'm worried about my Nephew, his dad..He adored Bobby...His heart, he just had bypass surgery and it was huge, hes still recovering from that....
Could use some love and prayers sent to "Dad"...Hes my oldest Nephew...This has got to have absolutely devastated him...I'm gonna call my sis and see how Nephew is doing...
Called my sister back, tonight and we talked about all the alcoholism and drug addiction in our family and how it is still going on with the younger ones....There just seems to be no end to this long dark snake called addiction...Like when does the buck stop???
brother "P" is still MIA....My brother whom I am close to, the next one to me in age, is MIA, on another bender, his VM is full so he is not taking calls (never does when hes off on a binge)...
I am so glad I can just feel the feelings, yes, then I hunker down, step back from them and the disease and focus on me..work on me...do the next right thing by/for me and for the loved ones I can help....
-- Edited by mamalioness on Thursday 13th of December 2018 08:34:54 PM
Love and prayers for you Rose...as you said, Bobby is truly free now. He is with his HP in heaven. I will also say a prayer for your nephew. Addiction is devastating!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
thank you (((Betty))) ((((David)))) ((((SerenityRUS)))) and ((((PosiesandPuppies)))) for giving us some love and prayers....His mom found him in his room, yesterday morning...She knew, but could't bring herself to go really look at him....She didn't want to see if his eyes were open or not....She called the police, emergency services and they confirmed that he had passed during the night.....Sooo sad!!!! My family is just loaded with this disease....
I truly wish my sis would get into alanon...her hubs, my favorite brother died from alcoholism a few years back...I still miss him...We reminisced about him last night, what an awesome person he was..even know he was my BIL, he was , to me, my real brother...When I was in middle school, that awkward stage in life, he and my sis would take me on their dates, HIS idea as much as hers to make me feel like I had some love....I had so much fun with them.....now Bobby is with his grampa..........I'm off to work.....I know that the only one I can "monitor" and take care of and change is ME....
Winter weather is coming in for a visit, but won't stay long..yea, we can get real cold her in TX, but it doesn't last...Guess I'll just hang out in the house after work and be warm.....
Your BIL sounds like he had a big heart! Huddle in... give your self extra TLC!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
oh Rose, I know that loss! You are correct about taking care of you. Extra doses of care, as P&P advises. I'll be sending you healing thoughts and comforting prayers, because when this happened to me (with my brother), I found comfort in MIP prayers and thoughts. So many of us have experienced this! You're right.
-- Edited by Jill on Friday 14th of December 2018 11:13:26 AM
Rose, I am so sorry for your loss. My most sincere condolences to you, your family, and loved ones. Find comfort where possible, mourn, grieve, and feel the love everyone has for Bobby. All the best Rose.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Rose it remains amazing to me sort of how the disease of addiction kills many in so many ways. I empathize with you and your sister and family. For me there is no comfort in the deaths because the family continues to carry on the pain and suffering. Your post keeps me aware of how and why our MIP family comes together in support and it reminds me of natural family very close by who continue to be sickened and near death also.
You and the rest of the family awaken my prayers. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom...always the wisdom". (((((MIP Hugs)))))
Ohhh soooo many sweet souls stopping in and wishing us well..
Posies---his grampa, my BIL had a wonderful heart...I still miss "Bibby" that is what I used to call him when I was a kid...Alcoholism got him.....
Jill----So sorry you lost your brother...OMG...It hurts doesn't it, I am waiting for "that phone" call regarding my favorite brother..he is still MIA...On a binge...
Serenity 47---thank you so much for your hugs...my sis and I sure could use them...I am going to call her later and tell her all about my MIP family giving us love and prayers
Tired----and thank you for stopping by....Yes!!! This disease harms so many people...the drinker/user passes, but we are stuck with the grief and memories and the memories we wont' be making any more with them
Bo-----thank you so much...I grieved with sis last night...I didn't live near him and its been forever since I saw him like when he was a baby, but it still is awful to lose someone SO young, SO with potential, SO charming and good looking...EVERYONE loved Bobby...
Jerry---- I dont' know what I would do w/out my MIP family supporting me and my sis...I told her i was in 2 really great recovery rooms...here and next door and I am so fortunate to be able to stop in here or next door and lay my stuff out on the table , raw, no censorship, spelling errors in all, depending on how bad I feel and you all come and love me...and my sister, too......and YES...the good ole Serenity Prayer....
((((((((((((((MIP FAMILY)))))))))) a BIG grateful hug from me AND my sister...I tell her about my MIP homes and how great this entire community is....I am a winner re: Alanon AND ACA and I don't know what I would do w/out all you wonderful souls .....Gonna tell sis tonight all the loving posts I got...Bobby is smiling from his happy place...Hes with his grampa "Bibby" now....God, I miss Bibby so bad...He was my BROTHER...Once I slipped up and said "oh this is my BIL, Bibby" to one of my young friends...I hurt him, saying that and I told my friend that "Bibby" was my ONLY big brother....Funny, I remember that so long ago, waay before Bobby was born to Bibby's and my sis's child...gee, we are getting OLD....YIKES!!!! and you know???? I didn't tell you guys this, but he leaves behind 2 young children....a boy and a girl by his EX GF....he absolutely adored GF, but she split with him and got custody of the kids....thats when things began to go down hill for Bobby....he absolutely adored that girl and his kids.....I can't blame her for his deciding to "get high" on Heroin...She didn't cause that, and I am sure , because sis said she still loved him...so now SHE is impacted by this disease and his death...his kids will never see their dad again.....this disease DOES "kill in so many ways"...so many lives impacted by his using and his death.......
THANK YOU ALL THANK YOU ALL from my sis and me....I'm gonna call her tonight and w/out giving names, I'm , if it is OK, gonna read to her this thread and let her soak in all the love....Shes throwing herself into her garage sale that she has had planned with the neighborhood, to keep herself distracted, occupied....when shes in grief, big sister throws herself into chores...I learned that from her.....when you are hurting???? get busy and do CHORES...something positive....I got that trait from her....so she will be selling today, tomorrow and Sunday..neighborhood G/Sale....tonight I'll read her my loving family's responses to our loss..........
Thank you Maresie..This disease of addiction is all over my family...the kids now..Like a long black snake with no end to it...I had hoped the buck would stop with us older folks, but it hasn't...
My sisters children most certainly are alcoholic. My sister was a classic alcoholic from age 16. When she had children she became a functional one.
Our life was pure chaos as children so that is the norm. One of my.cousins and his family have alcoholism as well.
I have had friends die in the past two years which was hard 9n me because I certainly.didnt see it coming.
Lately I have been really looking at the need for peace and tranquility
It is a great achievement that you have made that in your life. Boundaries are huge for me. Everyday the boundaries are the structure I live under as the basis for not being overwhelmed. Before al.anon I had none of that.
Maresie
Thank you everybody for stopping by with your love and prayers..
Jen, thank you for your prayers..We are hanging in there, big Sis is deliberately keeping herself "busy" ..that is how she grieves...
Maresie, I don't think ANY of us really see it before it happens (death do to addiction) because much as we work our program, at least for me, anyway, I see the red flags, the longer and longer times between coherent talks..the MIA's more often and longer...the injuries and illnesses piling up due to alcoholism and/or drug abuse, yea, I see it, but still don't want to think it or accept it..
.Bobby was a classic example ..he was just too "bouncy" and cute to die...None of us wanted to accept the signs of his "soon to be leaving" the job losses, the sleeping more and more and then getting up and doing his drugs more and more...Isolating...not eating.....His inability to keep up with his Ex GF and their kids..THAT was a biggie because he worshiped his kids...the falling off with key, intimate relationships....his MOM didn't even want to "see it" and she is program/alanon due to hubs drinking...so yea, we can be "trained" all day long, but we don't ever, I don't think, be prepared for the final breath they take.....
Maybe that is why we are encouraged to live ODAT...and stick together in support and ESH/Sharing...and yea, keep it simple...and easy does it....my 3 favorite slogans
