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Post Info TOPIC: I can handle the past of this disease and


Senior Member

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Posts: 277
Date:
I can handle the past of this disease and


 

it helps me to handle the present.  I went to a morning AA group to share a spiritual awaking I had when I woke to a reading in one of my daily readers in the Daily Reflection...it was powerful and spiritually stunning and before I left shared it with my Al-Anon member wife.  The relationship between my HP and I and my  recovery is powerful and I am beyond grateful now...again.

I sat next to another brother in recovery and he was having something to eat.  When he started he took a spoon in his left hand and I had a reaction.  My ego said "Not with that hand...the other one".  I was unconsciously triggered from my up bringing where I was often harshly scolded and at times punished for using the "hand of Satan".  Yes I was born that way and acted unconsciously and yet that was what came before me attaching itself to me.  Alcoholism was growing in those lessons also arriving with my elders who were also deeply affected.  I hadn't heard yet "Admitted I was powerless..." so my grandparents and parent would stumble thru the lessons for years enduring pains we didn't realize were un-necessary and changeable.  

I would have been deeply stunned at knowing how my life and I would happen up to and including the rooms of Al-Anon.  I am coming to understand still and my Higher Power uses events like this mornings "Left handed" trigger.  

I told the guy sitting next to me and here is what he told me.  "I am ambidextrous, born right handed and came to be taught being Left Handed.  I use my left hand almost exclusively and I can use my right."     I heard no memories of pain and punishment except for the life threatening disease we both share with its need for recovery.  

I understand again that whats mutually important is our recovery from alcoholism and addiction while we can always choose what hand to use and I am not so unique.    If you listen you can hear your HP talk.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1014
Date:

Thank you Jerry for such an open and interesting share. HP does speak to me however, I have been told that I am delusional, along with all others who have an HP.

I am trying to handle the past of this disease. Progress not perfection, Lyne

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Lyne



Senior Member

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Posts: 277
Date:

 

 

(((Lyne)))  Often I remind myself where we all come from and how it has affected us.  One of the most powerful gifts of recovery for me has been empathy specially for the judgers and name callers.  Sure early on I was one of those.  I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know how our disease worked especially how it worked on me.  I am still learning so that I can live in the present one day at a time.  Please continue to be a teacher.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1520
Date:

(((Jerry))

WOW... My Pain didn't Come from Home about me Being a Lefty, but in My School... I Had an Old Catholic Lady, that would Beat Me across the Knuckles with a Ruler and tell me to Right with the "Proper" Hand! I Honestly didn't know Beatings (other then the Occasional Swap on the Butt) till that very Moment, and that was 1st Grade! She would Force me to Use my Right hand, and then Scold me for Not being able too... Your Post Took me Right back to that Moment in time...

It had Went on for Months, and I Remember feeling like I Truly had Something WRONG With ME, because I was the Only Kid in my Class that was Left handed... She would Send Notes Home telling my Mom, "I Wouldn't Do my Work, I wouldn't Write on my Papers, I wouldn't do what I was Told!" My Mom Didn't know because I Would Hide the Welts on my Hand from her afraid I might get in trouble at home as well since I was Such a Bad Kid... At 6yrs Old!

One Day, My Mom Seen those Welts and Ask what Happened, I Remember well being so Ashamed of Myself, and My Mom Calmly Got me Dressed for School, and Said... "Today, Mommy's it Taking you to School instead of the Bus!" I Remember going into class, My Mom Kissing Me and telling me that would be the Last Time that would Happened to Me!

She Called My Teacher, and the Principle into the Hall... And it was the First Time I Ever Remember Hearing My Mom Just Go Off! I Still Remember that Old Coot! and Not Very Lovingly... But That was the Last Day, I Ever Heard a Word about Being a Lefty, and the Last Time I Got a Note Sent Home from Her :)

HP Can Take us where we Need to Go for Sure, and I'm Grateful Mine Led me here to MIP, to Be with all those, Recovering from Life's Old Triggers..

Have a Wonderful Weekend Fellow Lefty :)



Jozie



__________________

Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 277
Date:

 

 

Jozie that made me grateful for finding the program and today MIP to help me to continue to recognize all of the places the "disease" came from...not only the bottle.  We were directed by so many sick people at such a young age.  It feels great "coming to understand".  Thanks for helping me do that.  ((((hugs)))) aww



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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 9179
Date:

Hello friends/family....yet another leftie here! I am fortunate enough to be younger enough to have not gotten the ruler beaten for being left-handed. I did endure for many, many other things that were unacceptable to those lovely nuns in my 12 years but not for my devil hand!

My father, turning 84 tomorrow, is also a leftie. He too was abused over it and the attempts to switch him up did not work for the basics of writing and eating. However, when it came time to sports, they would only teach right-handed batting (baseball), right-handed swinging (golf) allowing left handed throwing (gloves finally came out at some point). So - he golfs and bats right handed and that's how he taught his daughter (me).

When I play softball, I bat both right/left. I can throw both, but way better/farther with my left. I can use either glove in the field - way better with left. I have just began practicing putting and chipping left handed for those spots that make sense on the course.

Your original point brother reminds me how this disease is ever-present even against the best defenses. I try to live my life upbeat, positive, grateful, etc. yet it still is not a natural state of being. I really do best on those days when I offer myself to HP first thing and then align with him as best I can all day long! There are countless times I have sat down next to someone and been genuinely at peace and happy to just be present. Yet, there are still times where I've sat down, and those tapes play - the old tapes of black/white processing, good/bad thinking/acting, etc. Anytime I am left of center, I must remember that my first instinct can be diseased and pausing/praying/proceeding is a better plan for me, just for that day!

Great share and great topic - how interesting how many other lefties! My dad and I are the only of my family so 2 of 6. My son and I are of my direct family so 2 of 2. (((Hugs))) to all - slowly working to catch up!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 

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