Good morning MIP.  Today's reading is about how the reader viewed 'adulting' before recovery vs. during/embracing recovery.  Before Al-Anon, he/she believed that being an adult was to be in CONTROL - rigid, cool.  This might also include looking good on the outside and feeling very different on the inside.  Also - doing for others until one dropped!

Recovery opened a new way of living.  The first change - control over others - simply does not work.  When we try to control others, we are keeping them at a distance.  Instead - admitting powerlessness is a healthier choice.

Next was letting go of the 'looking good' facade to get real and share real feelings at meetings.  The author suggests that reading from ODAT in Al-Anon on 'martyrdom' made him/her uncomfortably aware of the 'dogooder' role often masked as a martyr.

The writer realizes with time, effort and honesty in recovery that being more human and genuine better allows for real relationships, real communication and real happiness.

Reminder --  Today I can risk being myself.  I don't have to live up to anyone's image.  All I have to do is be me.

Quote from Al-Anon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics --  "As I surrendered my imaginary power over others, I gained a more realistic view of my own life."

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This is one of my favorite readings as I really did believe that 'Adulting' was all about controlling others - their present, their past, their future, their choices, etc.  I was raised in a home where 'success' was defined by money in bank, employment title, salary, level of education, accomplishments, etc. which just added to the perfect image I tried to share outwardly.

Of course, I arrived in Al-Anon very broken and very unaware of my contribution to the chaos/drama.  I really, really believed if only ............. then ..........................  which was a very poor strategy for enjoying life and being free from the bondage of self and this disease.

By the grace of God and the willingness to work for it, I live very differently today.  My days still have moments of displeasure and some drama, but I am equipped to respond vs. react.  My distorted thinking has changed drastically - good and bad things happen to everyone - not just 'me'.  I truly am not the center of the universe, and all people deserve to be happy, joyous and free.

Being an adult today means that I begin my day with gratitude and end it with gratitude.  Gratitude is a game-changer which allows me to be more authentic.  When I am satisfied - even grateful - for what is and what I have, I can live in the present, enjoy the moments and not worry about the past or the future.  I no longer compete or compare with anyone for any reason, and my insides and outsides are more aligned as I continue to learn and grow.

I can be of service, yet not entangle.  I can continue about my day in spite of what other people are/are not doing.  I can walk daily with my HP trusting in what happens next is what's supposed to happen next.  I no longer have any anger, shame, blame, disappointment, etc.  I am free each day to view those that brought me here with unconditional love and acceptance.  What a gift to let go of EGO, Control, etc.  All is truly well in my world, and I am really grateful!

Happy Thursday all - spending some time today with my little people which always brightens things.  They help me be more authentic and genuine - another great gift of recovery.  Make it a great day!