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Greeting MIP family. Today's courage to change discusses the recovery work of Step 10: continuing to take a moral inventory and promptly admitting when we are wrong. In C2C, this is explored using the premise of self-focus as opposed to fault finding or criticising others. The author admits to forever looking at friends and strangers and making little improvements in their mind with thoughts based on "if only's" before sharing the tool of step 10 as a way to let go of such thought and insteadd look at the ways in which self-improvement may be made. The writer suggests these thoughts can remind one to continue to take ones own inventory and to promptly admit when one is wrong. Exploring self by asking "How can I grow today? Is there something I can learn? Is there some old, tired fear I can walk through and be rid of? is there some new happiness I can experience?" are some of the writers suggestions.
" Step Ten reminds me to be honest with myself, acknowledging my progress, admitting my mistakes, and recognizing opportunities to grow today."
Today's Quote and Reminder:
When I keep track of my inventory on a daily basis, I no longer have to fear that I will fall into that vague, hazy state in which denial so easily takes root. When I turn this inventory over to my Higher Power, I know that I am moving toward freedom.
"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
Alexander Pope
I like the way the writer has shared a broader application of Step 10 than may be immediately obvious and how this application also gently and lovingly incorporates a key tool of al-anon which is focusing on what one does have the power to change, which is ones self. What direct experience of this do I have? In some way's, I am very good at assuming responsibility such as in a crisis. But this is different. this is consciously choosing to cultivate a peaceful mind as a regular state of being and practicing, with Step 10 as the blueprint. See, for me, sometimes moral inventory goes like: whoops, messed that one up, sorry lets move on. But as I grow ever more tired of getting the same results, perhaps it is time to take on the wisdom of other fellowship members. I can't in all honesty say that I am near the state of regularly cultivating my own mind in the same way as the author because I get a bit lazy with recovery once the crisis is over. I shall have to try this and get back to you all, replacing the critical thoughts with self-aware thoughts aimed at growth.
I look forward to the esh and the thought on todays reading and wish all a peaceful and loving weekend.
Good Moning A41 This is one Step that I embraced immediately because I felt that it kept me focused n myself, my thoughts and feelings. I was amazed at my habit of looking at others in a negative manner, making minor adjustments to their over all being. What a waste of my time and energy I now focus my attention on myself looking at my thoughts, feelings and habits This way I learn about myself and what I do that hurts me Love he quote It is so true. Thanks for your service .
I believe that regular step 10's do become second mature... as with step 11- as a simple basic process. As I write I think of the dissolving shell the suppound many meds- they carry the medicine, but they are not the actual medicine.
These last ten days i have travelled half way across the world and death with the death of our brother. Organised and executed cremation; gone forward and cleaned up our brother's home. Spent time with his friends and neighbours and gained the footprints of closure.
I engaged a US attorney to deal with the estate.
And now I have arrived home with a casket of ashes and a few keepsakes.
I have to pinch myself as I say this "out loud". Is this the real me?
Inthe rooms ah kin talk about myself, and for myself- something I once missed out on. I do not have to worry about what the wider world may think.
In the last week I have gone through the blame- throwing phase of grieving; bargaining... and good to know- because it shows me that the programme is working!
This morning I contacted an official in A US county- and asked for a death certificate.
This is the last stage of dealing with the US side of the deal. I have formed a lasting bond with my sister and brother and began to sort out things from this end.
OMG! The old me could not even think properly!
Yesterday I had a text from an Alanon buddy from the next town... ...he was at an Alanon Assembly and was jiving me about the usual auction.
As I am yet to do an official Step 10, your ESH on this topic is a good one for me to sit with and ruminate for awhile with it. I do know that I am kind of doing this on a daily basis... just trying to be a better person in this world. Better to me, better to others. I really liked this quote:
" Step Ten reminds me to be honest with myself, acknowledging my progress, admitting my mistakes, and recognizing opportunities to grow today."
David - Thank you for sharing your growth. I just loved how self-aware you have become that the "old" you could not even handle all that you have had to handle these few weeks. Sometimes, it is even more joyful to see others have that "A HA!" moment about themselves than myself... not sure why that is, but I thank you for sharing it!!! Wishing you peace as you close that chapter of your book, David.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I find myself doing this throughout my day because as long as I am breathing, there is room for error. Its so refreshing for me to finally be ABLE to be honest. Yea I was either in denial in the past or out and out lying to spare me another beating and/ or put downs. Dont have to fear that anymore. The beast is dead. Im alive and I am gonna live life MY way and that is program
A41 - thank you for your service and the daily.....thanks to MIP family for your shares and ESH. I know that when I live One Day at a Time as suggested when I first arrived, all is better with me, around me, etc. Accepting that I will be human and will make mistakes and will make amends is refreshing compared to growing up with an expectation of perfection.
Step 10 allows me to review my day and see what worked well, what could have been different, what my role was or is and where is room for improvement. I know today when I am walking with my HP instead of in front or behind, I have good intentions and this makes it easier to admit when I am wrong.
Weather today is awesome - 60+ degrees, sun shining! Tomorrow, we're to have white-out conditions and our first big snow of the year/season. Of course, we golfed. It was my AH, my A Son, Myself and oldest Grandchild....amazingly enough, it was drama-free, tons of fun and very relaxed - a first. I am grateful for the willingness in recovery to keep showing up, hoping for the best and packing my tools for just in case reasons.
Happy Saturday to all - hope it's been awesome!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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