Al-Anon Family Group

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> haven't been in a long while
Post Info TOPIC: haven't been in a long while
niXieTeK


Newbie

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haven't been in a long while
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i haven't been to a meeting in a long while. for many reasons i suppose, but right now i need some instant help. i am going absolutely crazy!!! i have been wonderful in dealing with my mom, my sister, my multiple friends and family members and co-workers that are alcoholics/drug addicts. but not doing so well with boyfriends mom!
we are having a baby together. and she has found it necessary to completely try to control our lives and this babies because she has become delusional that this child is hers!!! she wants to watch the baby at night, she has been saying...and i don't even want her to hold him for fear of what she might do. she drinks every night and sleeps until 2 pm...do you think i'm really going to let her watch my child??? a child has died in her care and social services has been called many times on her. she has had the nerve to ask carlos and i for money because her disability is cut off, despite the fact that she can work and i am NOT working right now because it's the last week of my pregnancy. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. there are so many things that are driving me nuts and i don't know where my place is in setting boundaries. carlos isn't helping out, and continually makes excuses to her instead of telling her the real reason why things can't be certain ways or why she can't borrow money or...aaaaah. sorry. LOL
i just...i don't know where to step in. i want carlos to deal with all of this like he should as her son...but on the same token, i feel like i need to say something soon in order to protect my family and my unborn son. if carlos doesn't find the significance in my worries or take my demands seriously (since he has never dealt with his mom in a recovery program he is a bit delusional at how sick she is), then i feel like he might give in some day and just let her watch him or give her money to appease her cause he feels sorry for her.
any suggestions?

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leo


~*Service Worker*~

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Since the baby isn't born yet just take one day at a time.  You can start to put some boundaries in after the joy of holding your baby.  Maybe you can start with simple things like she comes to your house but if she has been drinking she is not to pick the baby up etc.  You don't have to feel any guilt over this your baby's health comes first.  For now enjoy your pregnancy let Carlos's mother be happy in her delusional state and take care of you and bub first.  Luv Leo xx

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just me


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 527
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I agree with Leo...take care of you now.  Relax and remember even if she wasn't drinking you have the right to say who holds/cares for your baby!  I never allowed strangers to hold mine for one and never allowed anyone to keep her overnight!  So just be the great mom that you are and all will be fine.  I also agree with you that he should deal with his mother...not you especially now.


Julia 



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nycbt


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 810
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Welcome to MIP. You are not alone. There a lot of people who understand.


 


World Service Organization Website –


WWW.al-anon.alateen.org


Phone number is 1-888-425-2666


Alanon meetings 800-351-9996


Alanon literature Worldwide 888-425-2666


Alanon meeting info. 800-433-7266 AA info.


Chat room is open 24/7 there here the link to www.mipchat.net or http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html 


 


Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.



  • Go face to face meeting & online meeting.

  • post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.

·        Set support system.  people do not judge.You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.



  • Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.

You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.


 


Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.


 



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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
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