The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. --Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)
Funny thing about kindness. The more it's used, the more you have of it. --unknown
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. --Richard Bach
Apologizing with words isn't the same thing as apologizing with actions. --Laura J.
You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. --Oliver Goldsmith
"A hundredload of worry will not pay an ounce of debt." --George Herbert
"Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another." --Condorcet
"One had to take some action against fear when once it laid hold of one." --Rainer Maria Rilke
Reading these made me think of the alanon tools that might help me achieve these ideals. I came up with: prayer, detachment, let go and let god, how important is it and principles above personalities
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
hey A nother....HECK of a question....Kindness and detaching with love , and are they the same,
I would say they are inter related or interconnected, but not always the same, even tho detaching with love IS kind.....kind , to me, is just, sorta "all purpose" and global--detachment usually implies that there is a relationship of sorts...not always, but usually... ---
so OK..there are people I have in my life whom I love and our relationship is solid because we share mutual boundaries/mutual respect , et al for each other, and I can be kind with almost abandon because I know they would never take advantage of my kindness, but even in healthy relationships, there comes detachment when someone is ill, and you can't help them with their pain, you do your best and detach with love so you don't get enmeshed in something over which you are powerless...
AND there are some folks, who may mean well, but are still toxic for some reason...issues that don't match my walk in my life, so I have to detach from them with love, meaning sometimes I have to end a relationship or distance myself from a relationship that I care about to take care of me/ protect my program/serenity, but I want to "distance myself" or do the break up with KINDNESS....not tell them "you toxic jerk, I dont like the way you live, so I am kicking you to the curb" that would be horrible to say....when I have to detach or distance myself and there is explanation involved, I just tell them that I need to distance myself because our paths are not matching at this time, or sometimes I just fade away, if relationship wasn't really deep anyway...distancing or breaking a close relationship to protect me, I usually just say, "we are no longer a match, our paths are different, so I must go my own way" or words to that effect...that way no fault is laid upon them, we just are not a match
so yea, detaching with love and kindness and this is just MY take..MY ESH....are sorta "siblings" and often "live together" because even the best of relationships call for detaching with love on some occasions..however A stranger I meet in a restaurant, someone I will interact with only a few moments, detachment doesn't come into play, but I might be kind and let her/him go first to the buffet shrimp because they are on crutches....after they fill their plate, I fill mine...no detaching is involved because there is no relationship....detachment is usually a component of a relationship of some kind...
And boy, I'm all over this post, I hope this made sense...my mind is not at ease tonight...I have some decisions in the next few days that I may have to make and its not going to be comfortable...I am leaning on my program, working my slogans and journalling....I will call my recovery mate tomorrow and talk with her because its always good , when thinking of doing something that impacts others, its always best to PAUSE.....Breathe.....get centered.....observe...check my motives....don't let emotions run the show.....and that is where I am at right now...so please forgive the sort of rambling post
and THANK you for the GR8 thought provoking post......Hugs
