The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in courage to change is about becoming aware of what motivates our choices. The author shares that they were appalled that fear motivated their choices and ruled their life!
The author shares that many Alanon friends used the second step to combat fear. The author also shares that they, when engulfed by fear, couldn't get further than the phrase "came to believe..." but that just this phrase was enough to help overpower the fear.
Today's reminder: before taking any action, I need only remind myself that I am in the care of a higher power. Whether the words i use say "help!" or "let go and let god" or "came to believe," I know that my higher power and i can deal With whatever we are facing.
Today's quote: "we turn our will and life over to the care of God as we understand him. A higher power is like a friend who really cares about us and wants to share our problems." Alateen one day at a time
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Like the author, living With the effects of the disease made me fear everything. I was entirely motivated by fear. Fear is one of the things that i worked hard to overcome and not have rule my life in my early 20s, and i was dismayed to see it back so fully in my late 30s.
I've found that turning this fear over to hp is helpful. In my belief system, I've found that asking the grandmothers for help and advice allows me to draw from their strength and experience and move beyond my fear.
Today i find myself in Toronto for a work training. It took me a good 22 hours of travel to get here because of some bad weather -thunderstorms. Flooding. I'm grateful today for the opportunity to learn and grow, and for having a bed to sleep in last night. Much more comfortable that the night before spent in an airport terminal.
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Skorpi - safe travels to you! Thank you for your service and the daily. I can relate to fear being in 'charge'. I was motivated by fear and that is what drove many, if not all, of my reactions to this disease and other 'life events'. Most of what I feared was projections in my own mind of what could happen or what I could face.
I heavily rely on my HP and program tools to bring me back to center when I am distracted by the past or projecting to the future. I am able to better deal with fear today and pause long enough to consider healthier responses. I do believe that the opposite of fear is faith and as I work to expand my faith, I have less fear than before.
Happy Wednesday to one and all. Make it a lovely day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Skorpi great topic and reminder. Examining my motives before taking any action has become " a go to" habit for me. i am so pleased that alanon promoted this idea when I first entered program and that I found the benefit of discovering why i do what I do and say what I say. I do believe that i walked around unaware of my thoughts and motives most of my life however when I looked i found , to my surprise, that fear was a huge driver. Embracing the concept of a HP and daily praying for courage and wisdom helped to lift that fear to a manageable place and today i do understand the slogan that "courage is fear hat has said its prayers " Thanks for your service , stay safe and have a great day
Thank you, Skorpi for your service. Good that you were able to get a good night's rest in an actual bed! Hope your trip back home is uneventful.
I was so surprised to learn that most of what I did was because of my fears. I thought I had it together - I mean, hadn't I managed my life in the alchohell for years?
But facing my true feelings about the disease, my part in all of it, the collateral damage, what I really wanted out of the rest of my life, made me actually see that I "managed" b/c I was always afraid. Knowing that was a huge blow to me... all these years I thought that I was handling this chaotic life well... doing the "right" thing. But really all I was doing was REACTING because I was afraid. What a blow to my ego! Then coming to understand that a large part of the fear was because of my ego... imagine that? LOL!
Today marks the day, 18 years ago I gave birth to my son. It changed my life in oh, so many ways! I am forever grateful for that gift. As today crept ever closer, I began to feel fear creep in. How to define our relationship now? Will Kid succeed in life? Does Kid understand the concept of being an "adult." And then, what will my life be now that I am divorced and my Kiddo doesn't need me anymore?
Thankfully, I have my program! I have hit the Pause "button," have taken deep breaths, and have prayed about this next step. This allowed me to articulate my needs and boundaries to AC (adult child) about our changing roles, substance use as an adult, and financial ownership.
Thank you for the reminder Skorpi... to stay out of the state of fear!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks Skorp and for all the ESH. I readily relate to this reading . Yes fear was a huge factor in my life, along with trying not to let everyone see how insecure I was. I was also often trying not to be embarrassed by my actions and words, so I wouldn't look stupid as I thought I was. To pause and think ahead is a good plan. Do I really want to say or ask this or that? What is my motive? All great tools to live by, and including HP as a partner in life, Lyne
Thanks for your service, Skorpi, and all the ESH shared. I too see how my fears, especially the fear of not being accepted, not being good or smart or pretty enough, fear of failure seem to have been the main motivators in my life since childhood actually. Which is sad and really my whole life has been built partly based on fear. I'm on step 6 and already I have experienced wonderful shifts in myself in this process, also regarding some of my fears. I am learning to let go and let God, to surrender, and that's a big, big change from how I've lived my whole life, so that I couldn't even begin to understand what does it even mean to surrender as I'd never done it consciously before.
