Walt, at the very least, you've kept this thread in the running for 2018 Longest, in itself quite a feat. Many have contributed good points on this topic, I read many, perhaps not quite all, so if this has already been shared above I apologize.

When I felt concern at various times, wondering if things were presented "right", especially for new ones, I found p. 185 in Courage to Change particularly helpful. Reminded me that when it comes to myself and others, something/someone greater than me has it covered.

I was a newcomer once myself. I came in with no knowledge of 12 step programs, AA, or Alanon, and was a staunch atheist. I received no special attention when I arrived, no special meeting. I did arrive with willingness to try anything that worked better than what I was able to manage on my own, and the humility to admit I needed guidance.

I listened to what was said and read at meetings along with everyone else, I obtained literature, read and meditated upon it. I asked questions of those who seemed to demonstrate by speech and action the kind of peace I sought. I found my spiritual path and a relationship with a higher power of my own understanding.

I believe if someone is willing and ready, they can find what they are ready to receive in AlAnon regardless of what I do or don't do. I trust in their higher power and the power of the fellowship, because time and time again I learn that I often don't know what is best for myself, and cannot know what is best for others.

Cheers