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Oh goodness .. we finally had THE talk with my youngest about the oldest .. and I am soooo grateful I listened to my gut regarding the situation as a mama.
I know this has been difficult with my oldest because he's wanting to tell his brother .. I was insistent the timing be good for the youngest .. I wanted it at the beginning of summer not at the end and so on. I'm sooo glad because ironically the youngest verbalized my concerns out of the box. HUGE relief for me .. you know sometimes a parenting win is a parenting win .. LOL!! Now I don't know what this means down the road .. however for today things are good .. my youngest did make the choice to go and visit a friend when he realized that his friend couldn't come over and I decided that was the right thing for today.
I do feel he was a little blindsided however knew something was up however was expecting the gay talk like I had and then got the trans talk .. LOL .. I told him I shared his shock and as normal we try to use humor around difficult topics and then can get more serious about it. Youngest is taking some time to regroup and figure out what this all means. I am just so incredibly grateful that I listened to my instincts about the timing .. he's got all summer to accept what is taking place .. I'm sure just like I did he's going through mourning his perceived loss and coming to terms with what he's gained in the long term .. I think the hardest part is explaining some people's insides and outsides don't jive for them and this is a process of self acceptance and moving so the insides match the outside. It also affects the families too .. so we talked nick names and how that was relative and so on .. and for the moment my oldest is forgiving about us making errors where as other trans are not .. maybe over the years that might change .. I'm grateful for now .. we have all given each other grace in adjusting to this.
Big weekend though and I'm sooo glad to be through this at this point .. LOL .. I am going to say I am really struggling with the issue of labels with my oldest at the moment .. I understand mental health issues .. I understand a lot of different things .. I do not understand at what point my kid doesn't understand that some of what they are going through is part of the learning process of growing up .. lol .. oh goodness .. deliver me.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Well. Now that issue has been resolved. You know, the one that has been niggling at the back of your brain even though you've been trying to mask it? You trusted your gut as a mom, and you made the right choice for the situation... go YOU!!!
I believe things will more easily begin to fall into place, as no one is tip-toeing around the issue anymore, all is out in the open, and your youngest can begin to process. Just like you mentioned, he will end up finding over the summer and in his own time that his sibling is still the great person he knows him to be!
Good job, Mom!!
I hope you enjoy the weekend.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((Serenity))) - great update and glad to hear the outcome of grace all around.....I too am sending tons of prayers and positive thoughts for your family!! Go you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hugs lady! That had to be one of those parenting moments where your stomach is tied in knots but you know it's time and it has to happen. Your strength amazes me and I hope your kids appreciate that and see the example of love you set before them! HUGS again to you!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
