The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Miracles are things that have no earthly explanation. We see a line of daffodils turned toward the sun in the afternoon light, see the blue sky above us all day, gumdrop sparkling stars all night, with no sense of wonder? We casually notice animals, insects, clouds, ocean, even a rainbow, and say, yep, there's a rainbow. Then we find ourselves broken down and crying, sad and sick and sorrowful over the illnesses that have swept us into their insidious webs, and finally say "Why, oh why, oh why, please, please help me, it hurts so bad and I can't do it anymore, can't take it anymore, can't stand it anymore....And we cry, we hurt, we suffer.
And we learn through the contrast, that we don't wish for this suffering. We learn from hurting that we don't want to hurt. We learn from the depths of dispair that we wish to be made whole. What we don't know, is what to do. And so we begin a furious search, hoping to find answers, and for those of us who find our way here, we find compassionate, wise and experienced loving people waiting for newbies, knowing we're coming in.
Seek and ye shall find. If we can formulate the question, the answers already exist. The only thing keeping us from seeing the answers is something within our own perceptions that limits us from recognizing or accepting them. How long does it take for your reflection to return to you when you look into a pond? Just another one of those things we already know about; just another day in creation? Yes!
So, we share our struggle and we rejoice in progress, ours and others. We unfold our journey toward well being with specific steps designed for understanding what it is we need to do, to heal ourselves, our lives, our loved ones. And when we allow it to happen, our unfoldment, the work of it, the thinking part, yeilds to the expansion, the magic of it, the heartfelt spirituality that guided us to look for answers in the first place! We are led back to our own selves, our own hearts for the guidance, because our heads got us into this mess and can't intellectualize our way out of it! This is not to say we brought such suffering upon ourselves; we just made it worse for ourselves in not knowing how to make it better.
Now a group of wounded people talk to folks all over the world, most of whom they've never seen, and share intimately their hopes and dreams, sorrows and fears, find themselves laughing out loud in the joy of the moment of being in the presence of love and friends. And something happens, somebody feels a little happier, somebody feels a little relief, somebody shares a moment of hope, somebody says something positive happened today, and everybody starts expressing this sense of gratitude for each other, for this site, for this program, for God as we know Him in our lives,(including a little boy in a thirty-eighteen year man in VA) Somebody says, there's love here today, can't you just feel it, isn't it wonderful? Its a miracle. A miracle I'm here. A miracle I found it, and who i found here, and the light, love, sweetness and validation, the understanding I found looking back at me when I peered into this calm pool of roomies.
Couldn't have found you if I didn't look, wouldn't have looked if I wasn't sad. Didn't take long to find you looking at me, didn't take long to be compelled to share, didn't take long to feel appreciated for what I have to offer, even though I arrived with tears streaming down my face hoping someone would offer me a shred of guidance. Wouldn't have hoped that I'd find some guidance here if I didn't somehow believe I would.
I have found guidance. I've found information, definitions, tools with which to turn my focus to the process of healing. Most of all I have found you all, and in you I have found a receptiveness to the openness I feel in my heart to let God, love, inspiration flow through. I am much better already-thats my unfoldment; I am feeling love again, that's my expansion. And most of all, I have been touched by the sweetest hearts of the warmest people, the bright shining lights behind faces I've never seen. That's my miracle. And this is my first post.
You are a beautiful loving person. I am so very very thankful for our paths to of crossed! I adore your love for life and your ability to reach out and touch others. (I am so touched, inspired) Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope (with me) with All of Us. ((((MAC))))
As I read your post it stirred so many thoughts and feelings. I was going to reread it b4 I posted and then I decided I may loose the moment and the insight I felt as I read. I had many different ones. At 1st I thought , Is this person someone who has been here b4 under a different name and is sharing what they got from the program as a previous newbie ? How could they have gotten so much from the site and only posted a couple of times ? Then again I thought that this is a very beautiful person with alot of heart that has alot of ESH already. The way they write about things of experience about feelings is of someone whos been around and is a very caring person themselves. Without going back to reread, there was some thing about the descriptive of the pond and the time it takes for a reflection to reture that I want to go back and read again and reflect upon it from different speeds and ways of seeing the many feelings and images that began to almost overwhelm me with such warmth and gentleness. I am writing as I feel without thinking it death as I usually do . So in a way this is a new jurne for me . How pleasant a fresh look and smell of anothers kindness that they chose to share with those that are in their struggles to have an opportunity to see and feel and ponder upon.
I felt very touched I felt very blessed to be here when this wisdom came to the board and laid out their inner experience for others to share. I felt an innocence , not sure if thats the right word I want to use, maybe vulnerability and openness of a sensitive person seeking others that share the same thing on some level. Some don't even recognize that they have it becauseits been so covered over with the harsher things of life and life itself in that form is struggling to survive in them to.
Wow !!! I've felt a newness in myself as I take the courage to acknowledge what I feel and share it on the board without worrying how others percieve it to express a message to the spirit of the person that also shared theirs in the same light
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHARE BLESSINGS
Now I will go back and reread and allow myself to feel what was written again, and again, and again. What a share ! I hope to be able to read more of your shares and that you will stay around and share somemore.
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I tell myself when times are rough, "this to shall pass!!!" Ask HP for guidance, if the door is open, and I know how to look, I will become aware! I also visit http://www.inspiringthots.net/ . Blessings , Your sister in Recovery
Wow ((((((((((((((mac)))))))))))))))) thanks your post is wonderful and very inspiring to me!! It is amazing what the power of God can do to help us look at our blessing while going through tough and rough times in our lives!!! thanks mac for sharing your ESH with me!!!!
((((((((mac)))))))))))) as usual you bring tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. I love your heartfelt shares and am thankful that you found this room, that we've all found each other. I too am inspired by the heartfelt love and support i feel here. You are a very special person....
One night in Chat you shared and all that next day what you said carried me thru. How do you thank someone for that? For me, the best way I can think of is just to keep on smiling, and I'm smiling now. Thank you. One day I hope to be able to pass it on to others, as you do.
What a great post......your words are very encouraging and inspiring. I have felt some of the same things your mentioned. This room has really been a life-saver at times. God has used many of these people to help in desparate times of need. He (God) shows us we need others....we can't do it alone. I am so thankful for you and this group! God Bless you....see you soon in chat!
"Seek and ye shall find. If we can formulate the question, the answers already exist. The only thing keeping us from seeing the answers is something within our own perceptions that limits us from recognizing or accepting them. How long does it take for your reflection to return to you when you look into a pond?" -mac
That is so true, I know now that I went through all that I have to see the contrasts & make choices that are now worthwhile for me. Why does it take so long, so much pain? We have to all reach our own bottoms & realize that we are worth more than what we are tolerating for ourselves. Even standing up & demanding my worth is a continual challenge, inside of myself at times, still.
Why has it taken so long for me to stop kicking myself (I'm black & blue from it, I'll tell ya!) ~ seems like the 'surrender' is such a difficult fight to give up/into to. At least it was for me, beating my head against the wall was all I ever did & of course I would cut myself down to size b4 anyone else had the chance. Surrenderring is actually a big relief & to actualize that I am only responsible for my own emotions & the consequences of my own actions ~ a burden lifted & a real Blessing.
"And so we begin a furious search, hoping to find answers, and for those of us who find our way here, we find compassionate, wise and experienced loving people waiting for newbies, knowing we're coming in." - mac
I know how petrified I was when I walked into my first Al-anon meeting as a 17 year old, always having butterflies in my stomach, breaking out into a sweat over sharing & somehow my hand would elevate on it's own as if my guradian Angel or God lifted it... and what came out of my mouth while I blushed & sobbed... what a relief to find a place that ppl really seemed to care about how I felt.
I did slip back into the mass dyfunction of my family & I believe u stated on my post, compared to others, what's my problem ~ I know I have felt like that a lot myself & still. The psychological wounds, neglect & emotional abuse shaped the person I am today. I used to be very docile, always the teacher's pet & everyone's mother's favorite kid but I no longer smile when my foot is stepped on, I belt out "hey ur on my foot!"
I have hardly left this site since I found it last July, everyone's kind love & support, reminding me what was I going to do for me, encouraging me to consider myself w/out guilt (still a challenge).
It breaks my heart when "green newbies" come in during a meeting or even regs come in & don't get what they need as quickly & jump out. I was grateful u stayed long enough for me to 'show you the ropes so to speak' & feel like I made an instant friend.
It is a miracle to witness the growth in all of us & a Blessing from God. Thanks for being there & I'm so happy you're on the Board! You have such a deep spirituality, drew me to you right away & I look forward to your shares as well.
I'm continually surprised at how much we all have in common & still how different we are. This truly is a magnificent & magical group of souls, that I have had the good fortune to stumble upon ~ full of love, it's contagious just as u said.
So glad you came in that day, we are all survivors & walking miracles, I know each day for me is!
with love, -Kitty of Light
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
You're a brave man Mac. You've certainly set the bar high w/ your first post. How are you going to top it? My advice, start w/ low bar and work your way up.
OK, all kidding aside what a wonderful share mac. Sometimes we come here and vent all the crap in our lives. This almost looked like a build up of love that while I've witnessed it from you in chat, obviously was still bursting to come outta ya.
Glad your here dude,
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
We love you too and as they say in Alanon "we understand as perhaps few others can."
I am so glad your sadness brought you to MIP. I used to get so angry when others would say I'm grateful to the Alcoholic. I'd be like "WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY." Now I do understand. I too would have never found Alanon and then when the pain was still deep, I would have never found MIP. My sanity in between meetings.
"It's in the valleys that we grow."
Keep coming, and keep posting.
Love Maria who's initials just happen to be MAC too
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Thank you. "We are led back to our own selves, our own hearts for the guidance, because our heads got us into this mess and can't intellectualize our way out of it!" What a gentle yet straightforward way to express what I needed to hear. And how'd you know, how does anyone on this site or at meetings know they are saying what I need to hear ... it must be a miracle.
You sure can write some inspiring stuff! Thank you so much for your words of inspiration!
I could relate to everything that you said in your post. You spoke directly to my heart. It gives me hope that I will be able to start unraveling the layers of my pain and get on the journey to heal like you have done. I'm so glad that something led me to this wonderful group of people.
I'm excited about the work I have ahead of me even though I am nervous at the same time. I know that it can only get better! Thanks for your love and support and the same from every one of you!
These posts are definitely eye opening! And I'm very thankful to be here reading them!
loving person. I am so very very thankful for our paths to of crossed! I adore your love for life and your ability to reach out and touch others. (I am so touched, inspired)
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope (with me) with All of Us. 
((((MAC))))
then I decided I may loose the moment and the insight I felt as I read. I had many different ones. At 1st I thought , Is this person someone who has been here b4 under a different name and is sharing what they got from the program as a previous newbie ? How could they have gotten so much from the site and only posted a couple of times ? Then again I thought that this is a very beautiful person with alot of heart that has alot of ESH already. The way they write about things of experience about feelings is of someone whos been around and is a very caring person themselves. Without going back to reread, there was some thing about the descriptive of the pond and the time it takes for a reflection to reture that I want to go back and read again and reflect upon it from different speeds and ways of seeing the many feelings and images that began to almost overwhelm me with such warmth and gentleness. I am writing as I feel without thinking it death as I usually do . So in a way this is a new jurne for me . How pleasant a fresh look and smell of anothers kindness that they chose to share with those that are in their struggles to have an opportunity to see and feel and ponder upon.
I felt very touched 
BLESSINGS
