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Hi everyone, I'm not sure if I should be posting this here as its marijuana related rather than alcohol related, so maybe I need to find an online naranon group, but I just haven't time to do that right now and I'm feeling quite worried about my son and wondered, any esh out there. My son is a daily marijuana user, has been on and off for a few years, I'd say most of last year, while he was going to college and living with his girlfriend he didn't smoke, but they broke up round July last year and I'd say his intake has increased greatly since then.
Since that time he has, a few times, come out with things that sound quite bizarre to me, and I think I am pretty open minded and have had some difficult to explain experiences myself. This weekend he came home from college and said there is a woman in the college who told him she is psychic and she is now communicating with him telepathically and has predicted things that are going to happen, and did happen in his life in the last couple of months. He also told me he's been able to read his girlfriends mind a couple of times when she sat down to talk to him at the college.
My son is 25. To me, this sounds like some kind of psychosis. I have spent a bit of the weekend trying to talk to him and express my concern. I do believe people have gifts. But I've been asking him why would anyone want to be inside his head, why would he want to be inside anyone else's? Its an invasion. He's adamant what's happening is real. I told him if he told this to a doctor they would question his mental health, that this stuff is outside the realm of normal experience. Have any of you any experience of anything like this? Is this just another manifestation of the insanity of the disease that I need to accept I am powerless over? I'm not getting anywhere with talking to him. I have advised him he needs to get help to deal with his addiction.
As some of you know I have just spent 4 years trying to cope with active alcoholism in a partner who died. I don't have the energy or the inclination to deal with the disease again at the moment. My feeling is that my son is responsible for looking after his own mental and spiritual health at 25 and maybe I need to ask him not to talk to me about this stuff because it does worry me or something like that? Any ideas, suggestions, much appreciated. Thanks.
It's my experience that the addiction of alcohol and drugs is similar, and it's not uncommon to reach from one to the other depending on availability.
How would it feel to say something like, " That sounds bizarre to me. It makes me uncomfortable and worry can you please not talk about it with me?" Then change the subject. If he mentions it in the future, "You know this makes me uncomfortable and worry let's talk about something else."
Hugs Sarah. My experience has been, anything that alters the mind messes with rational thinking and then some. Anything that changes the way we feel is an escape from reality. There's a saying in AA or maybe NA, the marijuana maintenance program doesn't work....it always leads to relapse and so forth. I like what bud shared. That topic would be off limits and uncomfortable to me also. Whether its a manifestation of the disease or not, I would dig in deeper on my own boundarys. Take care of you, the rest will follow. I'm sorry you are dealing with this..
Thanks guys, yes that feels like the way to handle it for me. Concerned about the long term possibilities for his mental health but I think all I can really do is pray and hand him over, difficult as that is! Thanks.
I've been through something similar like this with my AH. It came out of the blue. One night he told me that "They" were coming to arrest him, and that "they" painted, the sign of the wolf" on our door, and had been throwing pennies at the door. I did exactly what you are doing; I tried to reason with him for years this went on. He was so paranoid it took three years before he would agree to see the psychiatrist every counselor recommended. The problem was that he had GAD accompanied by paranoid delusions. Three weeks after taking antidepressants, the paranoia and delusions were practically gone.
I don't know what brought this on in your son, but don't do like me and spend years trying to convince him that what's going on isn't real, get him in with a psychiatrist, asap. Counselors and therapists are great, but aren't able to diagnose and treat a problem like this. Start by describing his symptoms with his medical doctor.
In the UK there has been quite a lot of publicity about the fraction of marijuana users who experience psychosis - in the US it's hardly ever mentioned. Don't know why that is. Anyway, it is well documented in scientific literature. I'm afraid that like the delirium and chaotic thinking brought on by alcohol, it is out of our control. Part of the syndrome is that the sufferer refuses to believe that anything is wrong with him. If you are in the US, NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, can be a resource: https://www.nami.org/. In a way it doesn't matter how it came about - all of us dealing with a loved one whose thinking has gone wrong are in the same boat. There may be some ways to persuade him to consult a doctor, but I don't think it will be an instant thing, and it always demands a great deal of patience, loving detachment and 'let go and let God.' Be sure to take care of yourself. Hang in there.
I would agree that at his adult age all that you can do is express your concern which you have done and then let him sort it out in his own time. I have seen drug induced psychoses several times in people whom smoke a lot of pot. The thing with a delusion is they firmly believe it is real and trying to convince them otherwise is like trying to convince someone that their name isn't their name. Self care for me, has at times been where I have asked my daughter to stop telling me drama filled stuff because it worried me to much and kept me up at night. Hugs
Big hugs sorcha .. just wanted to say you are in my thoughts and prayers. Mental health is hard enough let alone adding drugs and or alcohol to the mix. Letting go has been the hardest part of parenting for me even with the mental health issues. Big hugs.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
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