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Post Info TOPIC: Help!


Status: Offline
Posts: 15

For about the last 6 months, I have been attending 5 or 6 alanon meetings a week. I go to the meetings, but didn't get a sponsor and rarely share. I just listen. The weather where I live has gotten really icy and snowy, with temperatures well below zero. About a month ago, I started using the weather as an excuse for not going to any meetings at all. I just don't want to go. It's like I'm burned out of meetings. Even when the weather is ok to drive, I just can't force myself to go. I definitely need help. I'm depressed and find fault with everyone and everything around me. Has anyone else experienced this? 


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3180

I call that passive meeting attendance .. I'm glad you went did you find relief? Things got different when I made a choice to get active in my recovery. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don't think sharing is mandatory at meetings however being active in your own program is an absolute requirement. I encourage you to go back .. get a sponsor and yes .. I did hit a point where I thought one more meeting and I'm going to bleed out of my eyeballs. Then I realized better that than going back to where I was at .. it was miserable. You know you can get your misery back free of charge at any point and time .. that's just not where I want to stay.

Do you read the lit? Do you read about the steps? Get a sponsor, that for me was the turning point in my own recovery.

Big hugs,

S :)


"I cannot learn other people's lessons for them.  They must do the work for themselves, and they will do it when they are ready." - Louise Hay

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Online
Posts: 9050

I have gone thru phases where I wrongly believed other things are more important than my recovery. It has not served me well. I also have gone through phases where I've done the minimum of what's suggested. Again, it did not serve me well....

I am not sure why I resisted doing what is suggested - perhaps I was in denial, a rebel or worse. All I know now is I find my most centered self when I stay active in recovery to the best of my ability one day at a time. That does include meetings, talking with other program friends, steps,literature, sponsor, etc. I can start going backwards when I let up.

Don't beat yourself up -- it happens. Do something small today and build from there. We are to focus on progress and not perfection. We all learn how to do recovery for self based on trial/error. If you are concerned about your mental health, there is no shame in reaching out beyond recovery for help either. So sorry that the weather and more got in the way - it does happen.

Sending you positive thoughts and prayers + (((hugs))).

-- Edited by Iamhere on Tuesday 9th of January 2018 04:40:43 PM


Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 288

Six meetings a week seems like maybe it was too much? I wish I could make it to one per week but I'm sure I'd fall out if I went as often as you were. If you get a sponsor you may find that to be helpful. 


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 394

I just got back from what you are describing, only it got much worse. It felt like borderline insanity. I went for years without going back......

I'm so glad you are here. I got so scared of letting up. I moved to another state and it's been years..... All I have done since I found this site and fellowship, is dig deep into every available meeting I can make online, got a temporary sponsor, working the steps, the fellowship etc. It has literally saved my life! I'm not saying that also is saving my relationships. I turned into someone I did not know.

My first F2F meeting in the state I moved to is a bit over a week away. It's also over an hour away but that is ok today.

Hugs and keep coming back!


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 16484

((Buckeye Girl)) I do so understand . I was able to keep up my meetings simply because they were held in hospitals and schools one block from my ofice or home. many days it was a struggle to attend. Once in the doors of the meeting, a major transformation took place within and I always left uplifted and inspired.
One of my negative coping tools that i needed to release, before this did happen was my constant judging and negating others. keeping an open mind helped me to continue attending Good luck



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