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Post Info TOPIC: new to this


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 38
Date:
new to this


Hi not sure if I'm posting this right as I'm a bit technophobic. To put in picture briefly I'm in dilemma as I can't sit and watch him drink (he doesnt want siezures - hes had three) and i can't stand it and don't want to be controlled when to go out. Where to on tap? We have no children (he has) and I have no family near me. Don't want to be lonely. I love him. Weve had the most awful year he nearly died and has awful things happen and hasn't been able to focus or cope. Two relapses and has given up. I'm struggling to see him hurting more and knowing he doesn't want to stop either. He hates being as he is but obviously doesn't want to stop. Hes not being responsible. He gave up for 12 years but he's smack in the middle of it again. He's very comfortable though as is in bed all day and evening. I dont want a **** house or life so i do everything. He has no friends as he doesn't make them easily. He has an aa friend who tells me what my husbands is like as he knows best!! My husband wants to be as sober as he is.. I could go on...thank you its great that ive found this..

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 16484
Date:

Welcome Ling I can so identify.   Alcoholism is a dreadful,chronic disease,   over which we are powerless.   Please search out alanon face to face meetings, held inmost communities and attend.

 

Since we are powerless over this disease we do need a program of recovery of our own so we can relearn new tools to live by. Living one day at a time focused on ourselves helps. Please do keep coming back You are not alone.
If you are interested AA inter-group has hot line also and if you call they may be able to send an AA member tovisit and work a 12th Step call



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 698
Date:

Hello Ling. You are not alone.

I have been with someone who had seizures and other medical crises. I know how frightening and overwhelming this was for me as it was for the alcoholic in my life. It was very lonely being in this situation, even though there was someone else in the house.

When I finally became desperate, I started reaching out for help -- just as you did by coming here.

Two things that helped me were remembering to take things "One Day At A Time" and learning the 3 C's -- I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it.

As Betty/hotrod mentioned, Al-Anon meetings are a wonderful source of support. Lists of meetings around the world can be found at the Al-Anon website: al-anon.org/

Keep coming back ... there is wonderful support on this board.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13719
Date:

 

 

Aloha Ling and welcome to the family.  You are right at the door as I was early on without a clue about alcoholism.  I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know and I wasn't ready to be told anything that was other than my own failing thoughts, feelings and actions.  Yes I was attempting to do the same things over and over again which failed expecting different results..(insanity) and my spouse kept following her addictions to drugs and alcohol.  We were both insane and neither would relate to it.  I had to separate myself from all things alcohol as my early sponsor counseled me to do or else I would terminate myself and so "all things alcohol meant my spouse, my family of origin and then my own drinking...I was new to this...all of it and it worked.  Although my alcoholic/addict wife reached the doors of being terminal and I had the Higher Power that is suggested as a method of recovery along with the steps and traditions interfered absolutely and I got sober with the help of my HP using my alcoholic/addict to get me there and keep me there.

Being new to this is a benefit.  Sit and listen to the ESH Experiences, Strengths and Hopes of those in Al-Anon and AA recovery and then duplicate what they do.  You will have the miracles that we have been surprised and privileged to have and then the sober and sane lives also.   Keep coming back ...this works when you work it.   ((((hugs))))smile



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Online
Posts: 9051
Date:

I to send welcomes out to you Ling - glad you found us and so glad that you posted. I am sorry you and your family are affected by the disease - you are not alone. AA is for one who wants to recover and Al-Anon is for friends and family. Friends and family are welcome to attend Al-Anon whether one is in AA recovery or not.

I do encourage you to find and attend meetings - alcoholism is a family disease as it reaches well beyond the drinker and affects those who love and/or live with them. We adopt unhealthy patterns, habits and ways to deal with living with this disease. Al-Anon, for me helped me undo some of that and gave me tools to heal from and better deal with this disease.

Please keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 394
Date:

((((((((ling)))))))))
So glad you are here! Keep coming back:)

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Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 38
Date:

Hello it's good to be able to do this! Got back from a&e/ward yesterday (PSEUDO FITS) They told him to still drink his large bottle but cut down 10 percent over 10 days. He can't get upstairs and will kill himself. He broke all his ribs two months ago falling down stairs on his medication for psyiatic nerve.He doesn't want further suport as in aa or others or to phone. He's not cutting back for him. I am not able to go to al anon more than once a week or two. Tired and busy at work.

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 16484
Date:

Ling This is indeed a dreadful, fatal disease over which we are powerless. We do have on line meetings here in the chat room and they are very supportive. {Please continue to reach out you are not alone

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 670
Date:

Hugs, (((((ling))))), I'm really sorry for the madness of alcoholism you are experiencing, its terrible. Keep coming back

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13719
Date:

 

 

Find and use whatever is available to you to gain and maintain your serenity...that is what was told to me when I first found Al-Anon and I did.  There are so many tools to use including meetings, phone numbers, literature, computer and such.  MIP is one of the best sources for me when I am not able to get to a meeting as I like.  Keep coming back ((((hugs)))) smile



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Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 38
Date:

Thank you jerry and everyone

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