The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
well, its now 6:30 am and its been a night of hell. The alcoholic became more insane, screaming your the devil and let me look at your eyes, the devil is in you. F*** this, f*** this. I did not sleep all night as he kept me up, coming into my room and yelling and screaming at me with insults and arguing with me and going ballistic and says I am not going to work today, and its your fault. Well, I must be pretty powerful to stop you from drinking. I had to run out the door at 4:30 am and get out of the house and called 911. I had enough. The police came and seen him, do not know what was discussed. I told them I am getting a restraining order and they said the relationship is over, and I said very much so. They said they would do stand by for me to get my belongings. I just got home as I could not get a hotel. Went there and was told I can come back at 9 am to get a room. He continues to drink. I inquired into an apartment and despite being sick as I am, I will go and see it. I am so determined to get out of this house. He is gone completely off the wall. I called 911 as I got so scared as he had me cornered in my room and was flipping out on me. I will not, will not under any circumstances pay for the mortgage for this house, sorry, I need every penny to move out with and since I am moving out, I have to have my own money to pay for a place. Sorry I have no use for this house or you, end of story. No further discussion required. I am going to do what ever it takes to protect myself from this insane person. He is now pretty quite out in the living room and not saying a word. I guess the police presence just made him see I am not going to tolerate anymore abuse from him, drunk or not. I am standing up for my life and my sanity. I do not care if he lives or dies or what he does anymore. I deserve to have a sane home, not where I fear for my own safety. I have made an appointment to see the apartment. I hope sometime today. I am getting out! Yes, I am getting out for good and I do not care what happens with the house or him. When I say I am done, I am done. I have reached my limit. He can do what he needs to but I will no longer be around to deal with his drunken insanity. I am very tired right now, as I have not slept all night. Priority number one is to get some sleep, and if need be, go to the hotel. I think the police visit just scared the hell out of him. I am going to start writing my restraining order report. I have a therapist to see today. I may reschedule it for another day, as I so exhausted from all the insanity. I have been reading al-anon literature non-stop and its helping as well as the board here. The al-anon literature is the only thing keeping me sane right now and this board.
Thanks for letting me share and your support. I will get through this. I will..and have the sane home I always wanted!
-- Edited by Iamhere on Wednesday 1st of November 2017 07:47:32 AM
Joker, Good For YOU!! As I was once told by a very wise veteran of Al-Anon... you have reached YOUR bottom. Make good on the promises to yourself - you really DO deserve it! Go see that apartment. Even if you can't move in right away, move into a hotel for the time being... your qualifier sounds legitimately out of his mind! I would not sleep in the same house! You need sleep, but it does not sound safe. Keep yourself safe! I will be saying prayers for you tonight that your HP will guide and take care of you.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
((((Joker)))) I wish more spouses of alcoholics and addicts could read your post to see that they are not alone and with courage there are solutions. Prayers for you and for him....((((hugs))))
