Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

PosiesandPuppies · ~*Service Worker*~

Do you believe in coincidences?

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Calling your sponsor is a good program behavior anytime for any reason. There are consequences and coincidences for everything and how I handle them is truly up to me. If I am in a bad place I handle them with negativism and if I am in a good place I am positive that God and the Angels have been selecting me above all else for miracles. LOL and your post and my response is a consequence partly to my reading on page 143 of our literature book "As we understood".

I know about the consequences of communicating with and staying with my Higher Power. The events which has happened in my life and still are happening in my life are a direct result of the relationship. Getting into the program and staying in it was and has been a consequence of sitting in the rooms and listening with my ears and eyes how the program works and what happens as a result. I have experienced so many positive things without at first understanding what would happen from following the will of my higher power. Those/these experiences are a direct coincidence and consequence of in part "If you keep and open mind...you will find help" that invitation is in the closing statement of our meetings and along with the invitation "Keep coming back" I get to experience hope, grace, gratitude and love constantly.

I believe that my HP had the coincidences ready for me because HP knew what I needed for my life and when I was able to clear away all of the negativity including making the amends and changing my perceptions of life around me I would be able to hear and see what was intended for me. Until then I would continue to make the same mistakes over and over again expecting what would only come thru this relationship with HP.

Only one of the consequences was in the process of trying to fix my alcoholic/addict wife I decided that we as a family would start attending church. She did not belong to any religious faith and I took her anyway as my choice. When I got into the pew and knelt and looked up toward the alter I heard very clearly, "What is she doing here"? I knew the voice and I knew what the question meant...Her being there was my choice not her's and besides I was the one who needed grand work because my choices has pretty much ruined my/our lives. I took my hands off of her life and left while making a solid effort on repairing my own. She later got clean and sober in a way for me that was a lesson in humility which was what my HP, sponsor and I were working on..."Being teachable"....at that time. She got into rehab and the first 2 weeks attended inpatient rehab with a bag over her head. Her response to her counselor about her choice of bag over her head was, "I have come to believe that if I do not allow myself to be blindly led thru recovery, I will not make it". I learned of this one Thursday Night in a Al-Anon meeting from another spouse of that rehab who was very affected by what he witnessed. This coincidence took place over a 6 or 7 year period of time. When we last saw each other we were in love and had no reason to be married. HP took care of all of us. Yes I believe. (((((hugs))))) aww

-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 20th of October 2017 02:08:50 PM

mamalioness · ~*Service Worker*~

Hey PnP, stuff is gonna come up to remind you..29 years is a LONG time...all told, I was with AH#2 for 17, that is long too, and stuff comes up to remind me but it gets easier and the anger and hurt and grief, etc., do wane in time...yea, sometimes I think "what a WASTE" i married into alcoholism TWICE and it didn't work....the 2nd hubs was a nice guy..just an alcoholic whom I did not want to see die from the drink

yea, stuff reminds me but its OK..I learned a lot and SEE the stuff that I learned.....folks are in our lives for one of 3 reasons:

a reason---Usually a lesson..short or long, they are a lesson

a season--usually comes out from a mutual need, i needed something and so did they so we were together till that was over with

a lifetime--the few who are in my life for the long haul, till I die....my BFF for one...My kids I have till I pass...My doggies till they pass or who knows, I could pass b4 my pups grow up...who knows??? but a life time is till one passes....

I think, really when I look at the "reasons-seasons--lifetimes" they all bring some sort of growth or lesson or satisfy a need of sorts so it all is OK in the end...it all works out in the end.....JUST saying...Hang in there, girlie......Recovery looks GREAT on you....HUGS

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

(((PnP))) - sending tons of positive thoughts and prayers your way. I believe that everything that happens - good, bad, unknown or indifferent - happens for a reason. I don't believe I am ever to know all the reasons and guessing doesn't help me out much. What I do believe is I have a higher power who loves me and truly wants me to be happy, joyous and free.

Using that as a premise, I believe my HP shows me the next right thing to 'get there'. Not all elements of the journey are 'lovely' yet if I hold on to the premise that there is a plan and power greater than I, I can find and hold onto more serenity. It also helps me to remember when I am going through low times or high times that I am not alone or unique - we all have side steps in our journey. (((Hugs)))

PosiesandPuppies · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you, Jerry F and IAH - you know, my sponsor said something similar to both of you...rely on my HP to know what is right for me, and what is the next step in my life. I don't HAVE to know everything! LOL! Since my nature is to plan for all eventualities, this is hard for me at times. But I am working it!

Mamalioness - I forgot about that 'Reason, Season, Lifetime, saying... it actually makes a lot of sense to me! Thank you for reminding me! It helps me to see that perhaps AH and I were a reason...not really meant to be a lifetime.

Hope you all enjoy your weekend! Thank you for taking the time to share your ESH!

_bunny_ · Senior Member

(((PosiesandPuppies))) Im a believer too, I have wow moments watching the Universe at work. Ive learned that planning is the correct course of action, as long as Im willing to let go of the results. Its the coincidences that remind me often that Im not the boss, and they can provide a needed dose of reality to my inflated EGO. An important piece to my recovery is keeping an open mind, free of negative mind chatter, and being non judgmental toward new ideas and views of the world around me. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope you have a lovely weekend also :)

PosiesandPuppies · ~*Service Worker*~

Carrie - Thank you. You've just made me realize that one of my greatest qualities (organization/planning), that I thought was such a huge NO, NO, can be a YES, YES, when tempered with the willingness to let go of the results.

I too have to watch the negative mind chatter.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene