The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays entry goes into how self-seeking slips away...It reminds us to remember that not everything is about me me me....Non recovery folks think of themselves as their whole existence....Working the program, we learn understanding, humility, gratitude, caring and sharing
It asks that we have faith in the programs steps, slogans et al and come to a "other-centeredness" focus...reminding us that we truly need other people...
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before recovery it was all about me me me ..Never anyone else..I had been deprived of any rights, boundaries, etc., I lived in a universe of one..I lived the way HE and she created me to live...taking care of their horrid needs and abandoning my own..So I became very selfish..I was gonna get my needs met at any cost and that meant being a selfish little narcissistic, albeit Codependent, who, ironically perpetuated the abandonment of me by desperately giving myself up to please others so as to avoid abandonment and rejection...So even then it was all about me because my "giving and doing" was NOT out of loving with no selfish motives, it was giving and doing to GET SOMETHING!!! Love and acceptance...I wanted a "return" on my unhealthy "love"...
Now I reach inside of me for my needs being met.....AND I realize that I do need other people but not in a way that absorbs them, owns them, wants them to rescue me, or to control them.....I have to do my own self care/rescue/maintaining boundaries......Program has show me that I also need the mutual, equal "sharing and caring" with others...I need other people because I am a social animal but now the need is out of to share and to care....the key words to me are SHARING....SHARING my healthy self love with safe others......
Great reminder Rose. Learning to keep healthy boundaries and express love and compassion while still taking care of myself took practice and prayer. I agree, It is not all about me however I have also lesrned that I must not make myself or my needs invisible
Thanks for your service.
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I pray that I may keep my eyes trained above the horizon of myself: I pray that I may see infinite possibilities for spiritual growth.
Thank you for your service, Rose, and both your shares. I'm coming to a realization that I don't do life well, emotionally, and no wonder as I've been pretty absent from it for years. Its counter intuitive that giving away all of me to the A was selfish, but in a way it was, I was feeding my insecurities and avoiding taking responsibility for my life. I could always blame alcohol. Hope you have a good weekend :)
hey Aline, I love your honesty "I don't do life well, emotionally, and no wonder as I've been pretty absent from it for years" Oh that statement hit me because I , too, don't do life as well as I would like and it all boils down to my NOT being in the present, or being mindful, paying attention, mind wandering and not in the moment...ruing the past or fretting/fearing the future...oh yea.....and I get the "giving away all of me to the A was selfish" for me?? it was my insecurity and not trusting in any God or myself that I would be taken care of/provided for...oh yea......your post really resonates with me...Thank YOU for YOUR service and being here on this board...I like what you have to say..........Hugs and have a good weekend....BIG garage sale going on tomorrow, like 17 houses?? LOL..so gonna check it out and Goodwill is having a 1/2 off sale on Jeans...I may check that out...like I need more designer jeans, LOL.......
