The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading today is about adopting healthy behaviors to replace adaptive unhealthy behaviors many of us practice before recovery. The writer discusses the suggested closing portion --- "let there be no gossip or criticism of one another." --- and works hard to leave judgmental attitudes outside the doors. The writer does suggest that often it is picked up again when they get into the car after the meeting.
Judging other drivers, cars going to slowly, tailgating and frustrated the whole time. In summary, the writer says "through constant criticism and expectations of others, I isolate myself and act like a victim."
We are reminded that the program suggests we practice the principles in ALL OUR AFFAIRS. If we only practice these principles in meetings or with fellowship members, we will limit our return on investment - and not full reap the benefits of the program.
Today's reminder --- I can't keep thoughts from coming into my head, but I have a choice about whether or not to entertain those thoughts for the next hour. Am I making the choices I want to make, or is habit making my choices for me? A change of attitude means a change in my thinking. I will look at the principles I am practicing today.
Today's quote from William Law --- "We must alter our lives in order to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live on way and pray another."
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When I arrived at recovery and began practicing suggested tools, it felt uncomfortable....I had many unhealthy habits that I didn't even know were there! I can truly relate to the portion of this reading that talks about driving. I've always had a heavy foot and get very frustrated with other drivers on the road. This reading could have been 'me'!!
Simple slogans such as 'how important is it' and 'keep it simple' as well as consciously trying to change my attitude helped me see that I have plenty of time to get 'there' and the trip is the joy --- not the destination.
I am grateful that I no longer need continued attention from others to feel valued. I am grateful that I no longer like martyrdom and the victim role. I am thrilled that recovery showed me that I truly can find and have peace in the most difficult of times if I just align with recovery and trust my HP.
We are given chances each day to practice our tools/program principles. Recently, I got a message here where a member wanted to discuss another members' post. I opted out of the discussion as it was not productive. I don't do gossip and I truly believe that was one of many huge changes that brought me a ton of serenity. I absolutely love the suggested opening and closing as both set a stage for me of complete equality, open hearts and open minds.
Sorry I was a bit late today - we've had too much rain and there is power issues, flooding issues and more in our area. I'm off to the eye doctor again, spending time with a program friend who's struggling and heading to my rental home which is too close to a flooding creek in our city. Prayers for any/all affected by the wild weather crossing our country. Make it a great day MIP family!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning IAH, I loved today's reading in the C2C. It reminds me of one of the basic principles of program that I adopted early on. I stopped gossiping, criticizing and blaming others, and learned to use the slogans and the serenity prayer to interrupt my automatic negative thoughts. They work perfectly.
I love how the reading points out that we cannot keep thoughts from entering our head but we have choices as to whether to entertain them or not. Before program I did not think I had a choice because I didn't have the tools to interrupt the negative voices. Today, the serenity prayer and the slogans are all great tools to affect this.
When I entered program and heard that changed attitudes, aid recovery. I was very unaware of. how many of my attitudes really needed to change. My life was truly built on many untruths and destructive beliefs.
Thank you Al-Anon for the tools that help me to regain my self-esteem and self-worth.
Thanks for your service IAH I urge you to stay dry and safe. I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers to accompany you on your journey today
Thank you IAH and Betty for your service.
Today's reading was perfect for me to start my day with. I find myself often defaulting back to unhealthy ways of thinking on my returning home after a long day. This is something I am working on daily. With my HP these defects can be removed regardless of what others believe. I am a work in progress, my character faults are not set in stone. I need to remind myself of this as well. Lol
This is where I express gratitude for the program and the literature. Yesterday I left my property and took our literature out to our shoreline so I could quiet my spirit and find reason and confidence in changing the me I had/have become because of things I am powerless over which had spread to include my spouses attitudes and behaviors. I have become deeply affected by the rude and disrespectful behaviors of others both foreign and native on my island. It is dangerous considering how powerless I am over it. My reaction is to fight with a reality that I am older than yesterday and the chips continue to move away from my success with it.
So I sat waterside and read and calmed my soul some focusing on self control and peace of mind and serenity. I am in a better place now with the ability and opportunity to find and create more of the serenity I need. "They" are not going to wake up with the thought that "They" need to correct their behaviors because Jerry F doesn't like it or He will tantrum mightily.
I have a meeting with the powers that be on August 1st where I get to state my ESH and suggest changes. The Mayor, the Police Chief and the Alcohol Commissioner will be there. I get a few minutes compared to the amount of time of offences to state my awareness and ESH and then let it go if not invited to participate further. I won't think on that at the moment at that is an invitation to project which invites me to trouble. I am letting go and letting God work up instructions and guidance for me.
I have to accept that the situation is very tenuous with the local government being one that illegally occupies my home land and constantly has created the most unacceptable conditions for anyone to live within and so I must define what I am really wanting rather than fighting a bigger problem. This is identical to the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction and I need to take the practice of the program with me.
Please slip my name within that stack of names you pray for. I am doing the same. (((((hugs)))))
(((Jerry))) - sending you peace, positive thoughts and prayers. They'll continue as necessary for as long as needed!
I'm off to clean up from flooding at my rental home. I am one of many who were affected with our flash floods and super sonic rainfall last night. I too would ask for prayers for all affected!
(((Hugs))) for us all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you IAH for the reading. I do love the quote. It is so true that I cannot live one way praying for another if I don't change my heart my life won't change. I have been so angry at my AH. I am finally forced to see him as just a man who has this sickness of alcoholism. He has to want to change. I can't make him change. I have to accept him for who his is at this moment. I may not like or condone what he is doing, I don't have to. It is his life and his journey. I have to live my life and stay with my journey. I am working on changing my heart to release this anger, be rid of it. That is a process. I didn't get here over night so I know healing takes time. I am giving myself a break today.
@Jerry, I smile at your process connecting with God, so perfect. and noticing the quote in "today's reminder." paraphrased as,
"I can't keep thoughts from coming into my head.... but I have a choice... I will look at the principles I am practicing.... "
First recovery principle for me is Honesty. I may be wrong as I often am. however, I believe I see shreds of dishonesty in your perceptions. You may not agree with me and that is okay. I will risk sharing something I learned in the rooms that brought me closer to my goal, more peace. Please take whatever may be useful and leave the rest.
For me, when I find myself using that teeny tiny little word "my"...I am assuming that I own something. I think I possess something. But is it true?? or another illusion separating me from Spirit?
Is it really your property? Is it really your culture? Is it really your country?
Does anything really belong to anyone but the Creator who created it? In the rooms, I was taught that "Me, Myself, and I" are the very first addiction. How subtle EGO is at Easing God Out.
when I go against the ONE creator who created only ONE family and ONE culture... my soul suffers. Families suffer. Countries suffer.
Gratefully, our program taught me the truth. Unity. Equality for all.
You are not alone, my friend, I completely share your sorrow in the selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, fearful crimes committed . But it doesnt just go against native Hawaiians, it goes against humanity itself... every day, everywhere, throughout history. Ignorance is everywhere, no?
with the guidance of the steps, we can wake up and come out of our delusions. cleaning house shows me I must play my part and play it well. But our voices were made for God and God alone. so we speak up in service to God.... and only after making conscious contact "down by the shore" .... smiling again in joy
With spiritual awareness, you already win everything there is to win. No sorrow exists in conscious contact, our true prosperity that no one can take away.
But delusion sneaks in often. so I often ask myself the question
"GOD IS EVERYTHING OR NOTHING, WHICH IS IT?"
(((hugs)))
-- Edited by 2HP on Friday 28th of July 2017 12:20:44 PM
