The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The author of today's page addressed the illusions that can limit serenity: The illusion that we can or should control others, and the illusion that the emptiness we feel inside can be filled with something outside of our self. AlAnon suggests that healing begins when we see what we need to heal within.
Reminder: When thinking arises within suggesting I am not good enough, or that something outside of me needs to change for me to find peace, I know that these are illusions. The guidance of AlAnon can lead me back to a more healthy reality.
From William James: "...human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
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This is such a powerful concept, and for me the key to recovery in AlAnon. My daily meditation time is when I try to clear out the chatter of my mind. This peaceful time gives me a great start for the day, and also provides something to compare the rest of my day to.
When I feel my peace slipping away, I am reminded that I need to reset my mind and clear out the illusions of control. Very grateful for the guidance and wisdom of the program
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Good morning Paul - thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH. I can so relate - when I arrived, I was hyper-focused on blaming, shaming, fixing all that was around me - looking for joy well beyond myself. I had lived a lifetime of 'if only....' and 'when.....then' - all of which was distorted and unrealistic.
When I arrived at recovery, I was still resistant. When I finally returned broken and with an open mind, I could truly see and hear peace, love and joy from others who also lived with or had lived with the disease. It was intriguing to me and I felt just enough hope to come back. Today, I will not sacrifice my serenity for anything by choice. I too enjoy my quiet time each morning and love the routine that is program centered. I'm grateful for all who came before me and showed me how to practice this program and keep the focus on me.
It is in recovery that I learned powerlessness is not a bad thing - it's actually a great thing. Letting go of all fantasies in my mind of what I can change has given me the freedom to simplify my thinking, attitudes and routine. Freedom from the bondage of distorted thinking feels so, so good!
Happy Wednesday everyone! A lunch-time meeting today and softball this evening (weather permitting). I'm excited as our extremely warm weather is supposed to end today and the forecast has milder days for the remainder of the week! It's been oppressive and I'm excited for the break.
Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Paul Love this page and appreciate the wisdom that you have shared. I too bought into the "Illusion of control" early on and accepted the feelings of inadequacy when i failed to make another do what I needed done.
Entering alanon and accepting the principles and concepts helped me to truly let go of my attempts to control, stop judging, and blaming others as I turned the focus back on myself and learned how to pray and trust a Higher Power. I"Came to believe" that HP was in control and that my life may not turn out as I wanted but that I would be given the power to keep showing up and thrive in the process. Acceptance was the key.
I do love the quote from William James. Alanon tools were powerful enough to help me to "change the inner attitudes of my mind ".
Thanks for your service Paul
Hi Paul~It is interesting that after 4 years of working my program, I can loose my focus and worry about people and things I cannot control. Fortunately , this is not a way of life anymore, and at the most, after a few days I can "reset" and get my focus back on me. I have been worrying about the way my family is treating my A, and it's enough time lost of not feeling at peace. After my F2F meeting last night, I have renewed faith to lean on HP and my program, and let myself enjoy this day. Who knows, maybe I can enjoy tomorrow as well! Lyne. (I "heard" in Step 11 last night, ...Praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.). :)
